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Mrs. Tuttle was tired of the city life so she purchesed a house out in Palmeria and left New York to persure a life of quiet reflection.
Now upon ariving at her new estate Mrs. Tuttle discovered that there was no indoor plumbing. Now being a lady of some years she could remember as a youth having to go to the privy do do her business, so this amused her that she would be living without any indoor comfort.
However the privy was in need of some repair so she inlisted the services of a local handyman to fix her privy. Now Mrs Tuttle was very clear as to one thing she did not want to at her age have to pull splinters from her buttocks, so she insisted upon having an oak seat with three coats of varnish.
Mrs. Tuttle asked how long the repairs would take and the handyman assured her that one day would be sufficient.She said that would be fine and went into the house for a cup of tea.
The handyman as it turned out was quite the carpenter. He leveled up the privy. Repaired the roof and installed a small window to allow in some light. Finally he installed an oak toilet seat which he had sanded very smooth with 220 grit sandpaper. Now instead of using three coats of varnish he used 1 coat of epoxy stating that it would be the same just cut down on the drying time.
Mrs tuttle agreed that this was fine and went back inside for lunch and another cup of tea.After lunch she felt the urge to use her new privy but since the handyman had told her not to use it for six hours she decided she could wait.
2 hours passed. the old gal was still holdin out.
4 hours had passed and Mrs. Tutle just couldn't wait anylonger. She went out to her privy and put a finger on the seat. It was only a little tacky surely she could use it, so she shut the door and set about her business. well when she was done Mrs. Tuttle found that she could not get off the seat she was stuck.
Mrs. Tuttle had no way of releasing herself from her perch so she started pounding on the privy wall and shouting in hope of attracting some attention. Around about ten oclock that night a neighbor heard her cries for help.
He contacted her handyman and between the two of the they figured the only thing to do was to take her down to see the doctor in Bangor. So they unfastened the toilet seat from the privy. Rolled her out on to a sheet of plywood. Covered Mrs. Tuttle with the only thing they could find a blue tarp and loaded her on the back of a pickup truck.
They drove down to Bangor to old Doc Porter's house. unloaded Mrs. Tuttle plywood and all from the truck and carried her inside. Once inside they set her on the floor and pulled off the tarp. There was Mrs. Tuttle bottom for all to see.
The handyman looked at th doc and said " Betcha ain't see nothin like that before have yea doc."
Old Doc Porter just looked at the figure on his floor for a moment then replied " Yea ,yea I have. Just ain't never seen one framed like that before."