something I wish men understood...  

julietofverona 44M/44F
178 posts
12/1/2005 4:28 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

something I wish men understood...

So here's the scenario. Husband comes home for lunch, unannounced. Having no idea he'd turn up, I'm still unshowered, in sweats and a tshirt and athletic shoes, recently having returned from a walk with the dog. I'm hot and sweaty and gross, he's all spiffy in his work clothes. He finishes lunch, indicates that he's about to head back out to work. I head for the bedroom, for the shower in the master bath ultimately, and he takes it as an invitation and grabs me, pushing me toward the bed. I tell him that I'm sweaty and gross, he tells me he doesn't care, I tell him I do. He turns with a huff and pouts his way to the door. Whatever.

that's how it is... a grab, a push, a fondle, a "wanna do it?" i feel smothered by him. physically, emotionally... nothing - NOTHING - is ever reciprocal. it's always him pushing himself on me and me either looking for an escape or giving in and just trying to get through it. its "wanna do it?" "wanna do it?" "wanna do it?" every 20 minutes. that is as romantic as it gets. and when i hear that every 20 minutes I just want to stand up and scream NO! NO, I DON'T WANT TO DO IT! It completely robs me of ANY desire I might have had. and trust me... I am a sexual person. I like sex. I thoroughly enjoy sex.

but what happened to romance? to telling your wife that she's beautiful, or even just saying something sweet, to building up to sex rather than just asking her to fuck? his idea of romance is coming home to me in a slutty outfit ready to fuck his brains out. my idea of romance? i don't even know anymore. i can't even remember what it is.

norprin5 55M

12/1/2005 5:21 pm

i've always found that the best foreplay starts over a candlelit meal, whether it's 'out' or at home...the right music, a little hand-touching or holding across the table, a little conversation (but not about bills/kids/jobs etc)...

King Nor XVIII

mysteriesofme 44F

12/1/2005 6:17 pm

Sweetness... time to go buy a whip... and teach the boy something's..... like how he is to approach you..

julietofverona 44M/44F
67 posts
12/1/2005 8:37 pm

Shaye -

Thank you for such a sincere comment. I don't know what my future holds. We have our challenges, every couple does. I do try to talk to him about it, but men are delicate creatures and do not handle criticism well, especially in the bedroom. Even when it is given kindly.

My imagination wanders ... I suppose it's good that so far it's only my imagination.

julietofverona 44M/44F
67 posts
12/1/2005 8:41 pm

Norprin -

You are a wise man to understand the value of a little romance. Keeping that alive over months and then years ... that becomes a challenge. Sometimes I wonder how much sense monogamy makes. (That's the cynic in me speaking.)

starlight_runner 39F

12/2/2005 5:33 am

I can tell u now.I have read ur blog and I know already ur marriage is dead.Its only a matter of how long u carry on the charade.


Please get off this site and fight for it. pleaseeeeeee

kisses Star

julietofverona 44M/44F
67 posts
12/2/2005 11:20 am

starlight -

can you fight for something that is, in your own words, dead?

my profile makes it clear that I'm not seeking anything of substance here ... it shouldn't misrepresent my intentions.

blogging is a means of catharsis. for me, a means of weighing fantasy, savoring memories, expounding on my challenges. I blog elsewhere, too, but somehow when the world can see your face its a lot more difficult to be honest.

i savor the anonymity of this site. and so i blog on...

julietofverona 44M/44F
67 posts
12/2/2005 11:21 am

valleyrat -

in examining my particular situation, I'd wager it's more a case of emotional immaturity vs. unavailability. either way there is an imbalance. time will tell.

sport1357 50M

12/2/2005 4:09 pm

amantium irae amoris integratio est

julietofverona 44M/44F
67 posts
12/2/2005 5:15 pm

I appreciate your optimism, sport.

And your use of Latin.

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