oh, life...  

julietofverona 44M/44F
178 posts
1/18/2006 3:41 pm

Last Read:
4/9/2007 4:52 am

oh, life...

I've found myself in an interesting conundrum. Oh, deep down I know what I will do. Or won't do, as it happens. But strange how life is, the opportunities that present themselves, the choices we are left to make.

I've mentioned a few times the three way, threesome, menage a trois ... whatever you want to call it ... that I was a part of a couple years ago. Me, my husband, and a friend of his. A relationship that lasted over two years and wreaked all sorts of havoc on my marriage as attachments developed where they shouldn't have and such.

It ended, rather dramatically, two years ago. I've seen the "third" in question four or five times since then, and slowly we have weaned each other out of our lives. He's now engaged, wedding in the spring. In the two years since then, my husband and I have sort of pieced our marriage back together. Or at the very least have figured out how to go on with all of the cracks and missing chunks. We've grown from it. Closer or farther apart, hard to say. Depends on the day. I'd like to say we've learned from it, too, but a few months ago my husband began discussing the idea again in all seriousness. His notion was to try to coerce our old friend into giving it another go ... a farewell fling before he's married. He feels more secure now, knowing his friend has a future planned - one that doesn't involve me. I've talked him out of approaching the friend for several reasons. One, I don't think he'd be willing. Two, I don't think it's a good idea to start fucking around with the trust we've tried so hard to reestablish. Three, I've finally gotten the boy out of my heart...I don't want to begin that excruciating process again.

So. There's this friend I had back when the bottom fell out of my marriage and the relationship I had with the threeway boy. My husband was living out of state for a few months when the fit hit the shan. Which made it even more difficult to deal with, over the phone, across a couple thousand miles. So I was home alone in those months. Very, very alone. Huge empty house. On the out with a husband on the other side of the country. Forbidden to see the one other person I felt close to. So I started talking with someone. Innocently, on my part. He was married. I felt safe. We would talk on the phone for hours. He told me about his life, his struggles with his own marriage, his family, his past. He listened as I talked my way through my own drama. He surprised me by visiting me at work one evening in the midst of all of this. He's a beautiful man. Tall, slender, the body of a god. Sculpted, toned, so far out of my league that it never even occurred to me that he would have been interested in anything more than the sort of friendship and camaraderie we'd established. He asked me to meet him at the bookstore after work, for coffee, conversation face to face for a change. I agreed. I met him at Barnes & Noble. We wandered the bookstore for a while. I was paranoid one of my coworkers would see us together as they knew my husband well. He sensed my fear and asked if I'd like to talk in his car out in the parking lot instead. I agreed. So we sat and talked and talked. And he shocked me by asking if he could kiss me. Stunned, I consented. We shared a sweet kiss ... a sweet kiss that grew heated as he slid his hand beneath my sweater and pulled my hand into his lap. I pulled away ... shocked ... aroused ... scared. I told him that I couldn't.. it was way too much, too much chaos in my world already. But my god, he wanted me? This beautiful, beautiful creature wanted me? He told me he had no intent for that to happen (riiight, I thought). That there was just something about me.. an allure that he couldn't resist. We talked more, he said he understood, and that was that.

The friendship has continued off and on over the past two years. And that brings us to where we are today.

And. Ha. I have to pause now as my husband just pulled into the driveway. I will continue later this evening if I can.

(To be continued...)

rm_PurryKitty2 48M/50F
9753 posts
1/18/2006 5:05 pm

First, I love the word conundrum!

Second, will stay tuned for me. I have had plenty of occasions of shutting that computer off when the car comes in the drive

Purry {=}


norprin5 55M

1/18/2006 5:14 pm

waiting for the rest before i try to make an intelligent comment

King Nor XVIII

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