Wordplay  

jrb6955 58M
154 posts
8/12/2006 9:03 pm
Wordplay

I receive stuff like this via email all the time from family and friends. This one is humorous if you like puns and plays on words. I hope you enjoy it.

FOR LEXOPHILES (LOVERS OF WORDS): - I thought they loved Lexus automobiles
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1. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
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2. A will is a dead giveaway
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3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
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4. A backward poet writes inverse.
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5. In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.
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6. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
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7. If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
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8. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
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9. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.
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10. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
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11. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
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12. A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.
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13. You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
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14. Local Area Network in Australia : The LAN down under.
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15. He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
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16. A calendar's days are numbered.
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17. A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.
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18. A boiled egg is hard to beat.
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19. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
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20. A plateau is a high form of flattery.
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21. A short fortuneteller who escaped from prison: a small medium at large.
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22. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
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23. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
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24. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.
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25. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
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26. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
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27. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
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28. Acupuncture: a jab well done.
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NOTE: No trees were killed in the sending of this message, but a large number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced.



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