Long, sad day...I'm a single man again  

jpop25 36M/41F
2 posts
7/16/2005 6:09 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Long, sad day...I'm a single man again

When she finally called, after several messages, it was nothing but bad news and harsh words. After a brief but spirited fight, we finally decided that it just wasn't working. After two years, it turns out, she's no longer interested in partying, (which I enjoy thoroughly) and our interests no longer match. She demanded that I stop going out, stop seeing my friends (who are like a family to me) and I rejected the ultimatum, as I always have and always will. (I hate ultimatums, especially because I've always felt that if the only way you're willing to stay with someone is if they change themselves in a major, fundamental way, you shouldn't be with them anyway, you should be looking for someone whose natural personality fits what you're looking for).
It's been six or seven hours now, so the shock is starting to wear off and that little nervous excitement setting in. Being newly single, while heart-wrenching, sad, and more than a little bit scary, not to mention a hard shot to the ego, is also be a strangely exhilarating, like the beginning of a spontaneous solo road trip whose final destination is unclear. Maybe my one perfect girl is out there somewhere, waiting to meet me. Maybe, at least, I'll find the perfect girl for now, one I can share some good times and mutually hot attraction with, and we can make each other feel content for the moment.
Once you get on the emotional roller-coaster that is a serious relationship, once the lap-bar locks into place and you really open yourself up to someone, you're largely at the mercy of forces beyond your control. When the car coasts back into the station, you have no choice but to deal with the aftermath. Sometimes it hurts, like it does now, but I'm determined this time not to let it crush me. I will carry on as normally as possible, with my eyes always scanning for the next great, beautiful girl who can make me happy, however briefly it may be. She's out there somewhere....

ANewLevel4Us 38M/37F

7/16/2005 8:17 am

I'm sorry about your loss. You are right though - if all you want to do is change someone, you aren't with them for who they are. You are with them for who you hope they will be someday.

You'll find your perfect fit. It's just the journey getting there that can be a real pisser. Good luck.

semicharmed34f 46F

7/16/2005 12:34 pm

Sorry to hear about your loss. I'm sure your ideal girl is out there. Sometimes it takes time to find someone physically, socially, emotionally, mentally, and sexually compatible. You should take this time to explore new and interesting possibilities and have fun doing it. Cherish the journey.

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