alternative ways to deal with water shortages  

johnnybgoodzm 56M
3 posts
3/27/2006 2:54 am
alternative ways to deal with water shortages


Weather report for SE London

Like a sexy lady who’s oded on the beans - Wet and extra windy

Today’s suggested activititty ‒ cycle eastwards along the Thames (be blown along) ‒ catch train home westwards to avoid pain of cycling into gale force headwind

I see an anon blog has won the Samuel Johnston prize for non fiction

Accordingly my blog will no longer contain any silliness about forests or T-shirts etc. in a last ditch attempt to gain the literacy respect rightly due to me.

As the rain beats against my windows (real not MS) ‒ I contemplate the stories of water shortage (local council bans hanging baskets “place the watering can on the ground and step away” appearing in the press. ‒ I suspect a conspiracy ‒

Wayhey man says

“Oi desert bloke ‒ wanna buy some pucka Sowff Lundun warta ‒ swop it for some oil, Tony sez like it’s a goodun and a right little earner ‒ know wat I mean ‒ Wayhey”

So with the government secretly exporting our water…………..
I have a plan to save us ‒
I shall immediately start by manufacturing the following 3 revolutionary items

Johnny’s Instant Fanny Drying Lotion ‒

Save water by not losing valuable vaginal moisture

Plus No More embarrassing knickers stains ‒ bonus save even more water by not changing unstained knickers for weeks at a time

Caution This product may make sexual intercourse feel like sex on a v. sandy beach.

Of course the above caution creates a new market for my next product

Johnny’s Instant Moisturising Fanny Lotion ‒

Counter the effects of vaginal dryness, as used by top models, pop stars and politicians.

Available the following alluring aromas
Unscented
Mint
Pine
Creosote
Overcrowded 3rd World bus
And Chatham Dockyard

Mrs C. Blair of Central London writes “I love the creosote Johnny ‒ men now have even more reason to avoid me, my canopener nose and downturned thin lips didn’t always work ‒ now I feel so much more confident when I buy flats in Bristol or rip off charities in Australia - Thanks again Johnny”

And for the men ‒

Johnny’s Pure and Tasteless NoCum Cream

Save the Planet ‒ protect your bloodline, save on condoms ‒ save on dry cleaning - satisfy your partner ‒ save your sperm for a special occasion ‒ amaze your boss by secretly applying it to his sandwiches - plus a hundred and one everyday uses around the home.

Mr B Clinton from the US of A writes “Gee Johnny if only I’d known about your great product a little earlier things might have turned out differently for me and Monica.”

Caution ‒ This product may cause frustration and ultimately lead to testicular explosion if used continuously for a period exceeding seven days

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