Ladies, are you sure you want a Knight?  

johninco 61M
7 posts
1/6/2006 7:57 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Ladies, are you sure you want a Knight?

Many of you say you do, but I'm not sure you really know what that entails. Having many friends who are KSA's (knights in shining armor, of course) , and having been called one myself, here are a few of our little trade secrets you may want to consider before taking the challenge:

1.) We never, ever, hit ladies. Ever. Not even if you're into BDSM. Not even if you attack us first.
2.) Nonetheless, we're a bloody lot. We have war stories. You may hear one or two if we truly trust you. Sorry about that. It's a part of the job.
3.) Except when it comes to those we're defending, we can be a rather violent bunch. We're into boxing, football, hockey, indoor lacrosse.
4.) And just when you think we're boors, we'll surprise you with an ikebana (google search it) or a stunningly romantic poem, or a perfectly prepared gourmet meal. Don't forget the samurai were knights, and many of us highly admire everything about bushido. A perfect tea ceremony, I've been told, is hellishly sexy and seductive.
5.) You have to find a way to get our armor off. Oftimes, like mine, it's invisible and psychological, the hardest kind to penetrate. And we tend to live in it, 24/7/365. We can be stark naked and still fully encased. Getting inside it takes a special lady.
6.) We're not pacifist metrosexuals. We sometimes go hunting dragons, and enjoy it when we find them. This is a good thing; a knight who pees his chainmail at the least little growl isn't much use. Value that aggression; it will never be used to hurt you (see point 1) but God help a stalking ex-boyfriend.
7.) We are professional paranoids. Most of us are or were career warriors; we tend to remain somewhat hypervigilant all the rest of our lives. It's just a consequence of spending time in places where total strangers want to kill you. As long as it isn't carried to extremes, this is also a good thing. It's hard to surprise or frighten us.

So there are a few tips on Knights in Shining Armor. I hope you find them useful if you choose to take the plunge.

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