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The one about wife#2
The one about wife#2
Ok, here's why I am how I am now, at least how I can try to pinpoint how I am how I am.
I met my 2nd wife at a swing club. She had a boyfriend with her, a guy that she seemed to be serious with. I found out she met him on the internet, then got into the lifestyle. She was a bit chuncky. I find out she gets involved with the clubs ownership. She then gets to become part of the ownership, or so it semed.
Over the course of the next few months, she becomse a partner of the swing club. This goes on for about 2 months. Then suddenly, she doesn't come in anymore. I get a call from her in June of 2003, that things didn't come about the way she had thought it would and she lost her interest in the club. She told me she didn't feel right about spending a large amount of money and only getting partial ownership, so she balked at the deal. Or so it seems. Read on....
She and I talked, found out that she was locked out of her apartment, lost some things that was her property and couldn't get them back. She was living with her sister and trying to get things back in shape in her life. We went out, but I had already fallen in love with her from the moment I first saw her. When we dated, she seemed perfect. She said all rht right things. We clicked and it was good. In July, she proposed to me. We got married in September. Then, things started not to add up.
She kept(adn still keeps to this day) a singles profile on several different sites. I objected to this because she wasn't single, she was a part of a couple now. Then I find out the whole matter about the club, the deception she did about the money she didn't have. She proposed that she cash stock that she had that never existed. She said she had a car that her husband had bought her before the divorce, which turns out he had to declare bankruptcy because of all of her spending and charges. The car was repoed. The car she helped her boyfriend buy was held with a check that had no money in the account. In fact, she had been convicted of felony theft by deception in 2000, but never paid for her fines. A warrant was issued for her arrest, but she always outran the police by moving prior to being served. So a bench warrant was issued, meaning if she got pulled over, it would show and she would go to jail. That didn't happen until it was too late with me. Read on.
I found out she cheated on me with many men while we were married. It was aparently all a plan that I would finance everything for her. She would say she was buying gifts for her kids, but in reality, she was lying. In fact, she had her children taken away from her and they were placed in the custody of her ex's mother and adopted. She was never to ever see her children by law. I thought I would work up enough money and get a lawyer to gain partial cuatody. She was always resistant to that. I found out why: A friend of hers that now lives in PA told me that when she would visit, the kids would not be cared for very well, in fact, the authorities were called in about the living conditions she put them through. She wouldn't change them, she'd just stay on the computer and chat. So she lost her kids. That must have pushed her to the limit, so she was placed in an institution with all the stress. She left too early, but I had been told by members of her family that she has different personalities. I found out that I may have fallen in love with one of them, but the feeling of mutuality was already being stiffled by the master plan she had. Don't let me start about her other illegal habits as she defrauded and swindled others along with me.
She had told members of her family that I would do anything for her, which was right. I would do anything for the one that I loved, if in fact, she loved me back. That was a lie, along with nearly EVERYTHING she told me. It seems that my entire marriage was all based upon lies by her design. I swear as God as my witness, she was a gold digger. My brother even once told me that if my life were an Ausitn Powers movie, her evil characters' name would be GOLD DIGGER. Laugh, but it's too true to be fiction. She actually used me for everything I was worth, even wrote it to her jail buddies when I bailed her out when we were separated. She took from me the very life force that I had tried to keep ahold of; the thought that I had finally found "The One" when all I found was a pretender and a con artist. She wanted to ruin me and she did worse. She can safely say she destroyed the life of a man that once was a great person and father.
I can no longer trust anyone. I have no faith in anyone, let alone any faith in myself or my talents. I second guess the world. I have to have facts now. I feel as though if I even thought of giving a woman a ride home in my car, I would need to have a background check. But what I can't handle at all is the fact that I am now alone; sentenced to a life of lonliness and exile defacto, in a prison that is now my house and my bedroom. Torture is nightly, when I try to sleep when I can't. Sleeping alone is terrifying because it solidifies the fact that I have been put upon this earth to suffer a life of lonliness. I go to the movies alone and it's the worst, lonlinest feeling you can ever imagine. I thought that my mate would be there through thick and thin. I guess that is some story in a novel someone with a life once wrote.
I can't ever find clothes to wear or shoes because I'm not fashionably literate. I keep Mountatin Dew in my fridge because that is the only thing I really have anymore. I eat every 2 days some food like pizza or hit a buffet for chineese food. I am slimmer now, but what's it all for anyway? I go to the store late at night so no one will see me alone or recognize me with the failure sign I wear. I am now bankrupt, lost my job and probably soon, lose my home. Pathetic, maybe. But ask yourself one thing: who is more self-absorbed? The writer or the reader? All I know is that I hate feeling this way, but the fact that I am withot someone who loves me in my life is overwhelming. I find it an empty existance to live. With noone to love or be loved by, what is the purpose? I have no faith in about anything and I question myself almost hourly. If I am supposed to be an example for others to learn from, then i vever wanted to be drafted in the first place, so consider me resigning becauseI can't take it anymore.