Another Day, another round of emptiness..............  

joelbert 50M
8 posts
8/15/2005 3:08 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Another Day, another round of emptiness..............

I get disappointed on a daily basis it seems, and when outsiders say "If you keep being down, you'll always see down." I got news for those outside looking in on me: It is very hard to see up when you are practically face down. I don't like it, but don't know how to look up anymore. I get disappointed with people who promise and don't deliver. I know we are human, but damn people, don't promise what you will not provide.

Sorry, but I can't see positive anymore, and before you snap with an attitude remark, let me pre-empt you with a thought: If you are drowning in a sea of dispair and can't swim, how can you possibly survive when someone who doesn't even know how to tread water tells you you need to learn how to swim(while you're drowning right in front of their eyes) or they throw you a brick for you to float with? My so-called family did that today. At least my mother got to see her grand-daughter. I didn't. I helped bring her into this world, so I guess my job is over now. I mean, my mother doesn't care, just as long as she gets to reap the benefits. She's the one that throws the masonry. Funny thing is, she doesn't care, just as long as she can tell her neighbors and friends that she tried to "help." How can you possibly call it help when you do more harm then good? Her ways make Dr. Kervorkian look like an amatuer. It's shit like this, plus my nightmares, that keep me up all night, just like I am right now. I want it all to stop. If I could just sleep and not dream or have good dreams with no nightmares, I would be set in that regard. Hopefully it would help everything else.

I have been let down by so many people lately that really, I can't trust anyone now. I've heard "Don't hate the player, hate the game." If love and life are a game, then it should take a lesson from the NHL. The players moderately deliver what they are supposed to and get way too much credit for shit they don't do. And sorry folks, but it's true in life as well: the bad guys always win. Maybe I should be one of them. But one thing is certain.

The game needs to end.

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