Ladies - what I am doing wrong?  

jl25301jl 40M
5 posts
8/11/2005 10:32 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Ladies - what I am doing wrong?

Ladies - help me out here. What am I doing wrong? I'm a semi-attractive guy, intelligent and humorous. The problem is, I only meet women who are completely obsessed with me or who won't have anything to do with me at all. I don't want a relationship - I just got out of one that was terrible and I'm not interested in jumping back in right away. I just want to have "friends with benefits", as it's said. Women I meet either want to have me all to themselves or keep me at the "you're a good friend, but not *that* good" stage. I realize for many that there is an emotional connection with sex, and in a relationship it should definitely be that way, but what about no-strings, recreational sex between friends? Everyone I've met on AdultFriendFinder has been fake - so that's been disappointing. Outside, I've only met those who are completely obsessed or not interested at all. What am I doing wrong, and what can I change in my approach? Thanks for your help!

UPDATE: Thanks to those who've already commented. Your candid answers are refreshing. Allow me to clarify for slightly_sexy8 what I meant. I incorrectly used the term "friends" to mean an encounter with someone on a non-romantic level but with whom there was at least a pleasant exchange. It should not, I agree, be a relationship if it is indeed "no-strings" - anything else becomes something more. I also said everyone I've *met* on AdultFriendFinder has been fake - not to say that some aren't genuine - for instance, slightly_sexy8 and Psyched4SEX seem like they are real people and are serious about what they're here for. That's refreshing. Everyone I've met on this site has failed to follow through - emails, but it stops there. Disconcerting. As far as discretion, I'm absolutely NOT married, but I work in a semi-high profile position and have to be cognizant of where I'm observed and what I'm doing while in public. Lastly, the "completely obsessed" comment was the closest I could get to describing my experiences outside this site. I either meet very nice ladies who want to "just be friends" - which is OK, I've actually gained a couple of really good friends in that manner - or people who have been jaded by a previous relationship and either want to get married right away (it's true) or are mentally/physically ABUSIVE due to their past experiences. Neither one of those situations suits me at this time. I hope this clarifies my position on these matters.

rm_Psyched4SEX 54F
182 posts
8/11/2005 11:56 pm

I read your profile and EVERYTHING looks GREAT to me! You are very honest about what you're looking for. Don't give up....some lucky woman may be viewing your profile now!

slightly_sexy8 38F
314 posts
8/12/2005 12:05 am

you do seem intelligent, humorous etc but reading through your profile and this post i think you either need to make a few changes to your profile or you aren't being completely straight up. "discreet" usually signals married? also i'm not sure why you are saying everyone you come across on AdultFriendFinder is fake.. what is it you expected to find, or maybe you just have unrealistic expectations?

you say you want 'no-strings, no-relationship sex' in the same sentence as saying "with friends". what kind of friends do you have that you have no relationship with them? i also wish you had defined what you meant about them being completely obsessed as well.

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