What makes a man a man?  

jim5131 55M
529 posts
9/18/2005 7:22 pm

Last Read:
2/19/2008 9:06 am

What makes a man a man?

(Enclosed is a reply to another member's blog about the CockShot-type guys that hit on the blogger ladies...) It starts with yet another paste from a regular email to a member:


(attached is a portion of an email to another member)

Hi ______:

I had to read thru XXXXXXX's blog to see what you meant. I understand much of what he's saying from a woman's point of view, as that is the way he wrote it..but Lucky and I share the same sentiment. While I often apologize to many of the women on the site for 'those' kinds of comments on the ladies' blogs, I am not going to categorize responders and call names. I comment on many of the blogs that he names and surely hope he doesn't lump ME into that catagory of insenstive types. Lucky's response, as it was posed, asked whether or not men were looking for short/long term relationships. As much as I enjoy the blogging, I am still mindful that it IS an adult site and there are men, women, couples and more that use the site to 'hook up'. I first wasn't going to respond, but I think I will after thinking about it.

So now I'm responding:

I think LV and Lucky hit the nail on the head: from a woman's point of view there are lots of cockshots and canned come-ons for sex, but there are women out there that are looking for the same thing. There are also lonely women with tender feelings after having men like THAT in their lives and I hold them in high regard, irrespective of their body shap, beauty and charm. They are all beautiful to me and deserve more than playful banter. They need men who listen to them.

Which brings me to Lucky's comment: consider the fact that this IS an adult site and there are lots of people looking for quick sex as well as marriage, and more for the former than the latter. If they're willing to troll the site with their obvious charming features, they have that right, repulsive as it may be to you, I and many others.

It sounds as if your implication that ALL guys that give you that "personal kick from the guys that leave messages on these sites" are part of the cockshot knuckledragger crowd. I have left messages on most of their sites, as well as many others. If you read thru MY blogs, you'd find that I'm an extremely busy, hardworking guy..my priorities are in my two sons, the friends around me, especially those single Moms that need a little help sometimes, and the business I own.

I don't have time to sit at a Starbucks and be king of his virtual universe. Even if I'm not one of 'those guys'..I'm not taking a lesson in manhood from you. By your own profile you've got a lot of growing to do.

I guess I missed the blog that featured the self-coronation into Alpha Male. That's your reality, I suppose.


Okay, I got a little ticked at the time. No apologies. Brings up another question...

What makes a man? It's far too easy to simply seduce a woman and thump your chest. It's more than simply treating her like a lady. Men love the woman in their life. Completely. Live, love, laugh, cry together. Be the mate that God intended you to be for her.

It's more than knowing how many children you have and how well you remember their names, despite not having seen them in six months or whatever. Men know that their children need a father to look up to and remain as that man in their lives. There is nothing more important. You can be many things to a child, the most important is Be There.

The measure of a man is his relationship with others when it serves no purpose to himself.

He is not boastful, but he is confident. He is not a child, but he understands children. He is not so attached to his profession, he uses it as a tool to improve the lives of those around him. He is not a dreamer, but he turns plans into action. He does not command respect, he earns it. He is not king of his relationships, he is an active part of them and cherishes them.

An honorable life full of integrity is the only gift he gives to himself.

He does not surround himself with others or belittle others to raise himself up in a social standing.

A man knows it more important to be a knight to honor his queen than to play king and look down on her.

What have you done?

ever fallen down and had to pick yourself up?
been an active part of society?
defended a woman's honor?
bent over backwards to save a relationship?
coached a youth baseball team?
gone to all the School Open Houses with your son/daughter?
fixed a neighbor's water heater at 3am?
served your community? country?
changed a flat tire for a stranded motorist?
visited a cancer patient you barely knew?
are you the head of the household?
sacrificed your time for others?
stood up for what or someone you believed in?
memorized the names of the waiters and treated THEM with respect?

Have balls. Be a man. A real man.

rm_saintlianna 45F
15466 posts
9/19/2005 10:34 am

I love the knight outside the bedroom and the King within it.

rm_Network_Minx 47F
542 posts
9/20/2005 3:14 pm

Bravo!! Excellent. This place is a sex sight and some people forget that. I have received e-mails from men with just a picture of their penis. Do I respond? No, but I do read their e-mails anyway. Not just out of respect for them but respect for myself.
I hope my son grows into half the man you are. He is learning from my father, another real man.

P.S. One reason I like to shop with a man is because they are funny in what they deem the necesities. I love to argue with them in the grocery ilse. Plus I make them push the cart, reach things and lift heavy objects. In return I will cook something they love to eat.

sexyeyes375 47F

9/21/2005 6:57 am

Amazing description.. I admire your intregrity..

jim5131 55M
1296 posts
9/21/2005 7:52 am

hi saint...I'm can (also) be a pawn in the bedroom (..."whatever you want, baby.." )...(laughs)

thanxx Minx...I LOVE grocery shopping with a woman..goes back to the primal stages..Neanderthal man walks into valley..woman by his side..she points to sabre-toothed tiger and grunts..Neanderthal man rolls eyes and prepares spear..it's that 'provider' thing we need to have.

thanxx sexyeye..I almost deleted this post after writing it...too trite and corny.

five_speed 41M

9/21/2005 6:06 pm

hey Jim, you bring up some great points and you ask a question I have often pondered myself.

I am not sure I have anything to add to your post. It covers it very well, and I agree with it. If I may, I'd like to add four more:

A man chooses the hard right over the easy wrong.
A man apologizes when he is wrong and learns from his mistakes.
A man makes ammends when he can.
A man does what he must to ensure his family is safe and provided for, regardless of personal cost.

jim5131 55M
1296 posts
9/22/2005 6:02 pm

Amen, 5'er...amen. Too many guys giving real guys a bad name. Thanxx for the input.

jim5131 55M
1296 posts
10/6/2005 7:04 pm

I appreciate your defense of TravInTx and I respect your opinion. I think the world of you and KJ...and I don't look down at anyone else, for that matter.

I don't look at the blogs as a vehicle for popularity and/or ego. I completely agree with his opinion of the 'Knuckledraggers'...but I am not going to call people names in the understanding that I am better than they are..I dislike being lumped into that category and dislike ever more the idea that one person can decide who is acceptable and who isn't.

My mention of the Starbucks is not just to Trav..it's to anyone that blogs so much that the comment and blog counter hits 5-digits, making the blogger think that being the KingOfTheBlogs is a position all aspire to and one we're all fighting over. I resented this runaway race as something that will eventually divide a great group of people, and I fear it already has.

I call and get calls from several ladies on this site...there are some hurt feelings out there and a lot has to do with this petty hillclimb to the top and the social backstabbing along the way.

If someone wants to dictate proper manhood to me, let it be a man I consider better than myself. Not one appointed by himself.

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