Ugh....I am so screwed.  

jim5131 55M
529 posts
11/29/2005 10:38 pm

Last Read:
1/14/2010 6:57 pm

Ugh....I am so screwed.

I never have time to blog anymore...I simply check my blog, comment on the comments, comment on some of the bloggers' stuff...and get back to work.

I've been really bad about even staying in phone contact with the ones I usually call: Katey, Minx, Flinky and Gypsy...I'm so sorry, ladies. I DID call Gypsy..she gave me the rundown on the new job. Attagirl. Low tech, but nearby.

Work has been mindbending...over 90 claims this month so far. My book posting is nice, but it just doesn't do the trick in the blogging department. I really want to talk but never have the time...Thanks to those that are reading it: you keep me going. Really.

Jacquilyn and I are talking again. Earlier last week she called...her brother is dying of liver failure and HepC, she is cooking for him, running meals out to his house, etc.. she and her ExHubster are fighting again. So much drama. So little maturity.

We grabbed a quick dinner after my workout Tuesday...she says something is wrong with her car...

her:"Well, it was making a noise.."
me:"what did it sound like?"
her:"you know...a car noise"

I found her `03 Montero almost completely out of oil...I washed it, filled it up, popped out a dent in her bumper cover (one of many she has in that poor Mitsu's bumpers)and gave her a hug to send her away.

Thanksgiving was interesting...Buddy Larry the Chef cooks up the roast duck with mango pepper sauce, spiced cranberry sauce, homemade bread, turkey with the trimmin', goose medallions, cream gravy, all the regular stuff, I bring wine (he and the Wife like it...surprise!)..a German Auslese, a Spatlese and a Kabinett...

Kena wanted me to invite her to Thanksgiving, but I think she's getting the wrong idea of me... she thinks I'm looking at her as a possible wife...I'm interested in helping her help herself. Find a job. Find her health insurance. Find her a place to live. Coincidentally, I'm about to buy another house and now she's really interested. ahhhhhh...NO. I was interested in helping your son get out ot Juvi and onto a better, whole life. I am NOT shacking up and I am NOT getting married. No turkey for you...

Next day I'm picking up Son2 at the FormerMrs' house. Son1 is there...we talk..all is well. So we're heading to the ranch in EastTexas with Son2...Larry and his 5 year old son are in his car. They have never been deer hunting and I'm offering. We're listening to the UTex-Texas A&M game...and it's a good one. Aggies lose, but they gave it a a great game..

We get to the property...checking fences and a remote (telephone pole and crosstie) bridge at the creek and we hear something odd: tires squalling, a crash, glass breaking...we run to the highway and help a young girl out of her truck...she swerved to avoid a deer and lost control. She's shaken. The truck was a total..we pulled it off its driver's side and onto its wheels in order to shut off the engine. Fun. She calls the sheriff's. We leave. I care NOT for cops.

Visited Barbara across the street...her hubster is NOT going to the lake this weekend. Damn. Invited her to the house for Beer and Poker Night in case he decides to change his mind. He won't. He is not jealous of me...he's jealous of the friendly relationship I have with his wife. All he has to do is be a friend to her as well. I keep my one time, years ago, she was a 'possible'. Before I knew she was hitched. They reunited at a funeral for a friend.

Son2 and Larry go to the blind in the evening after sighting in Son2's .30-30. Larry takes one of the ranch .30-30's. After dark they come back: two does, which I instructed to let pass. I was cooking when they got in...I had been cleaning up to that point. We wind up talking and playing penny-ante poker until midnight.

I get the guys up at 0500 and have ham kolaches and coffee already. They tromp out to the blind. I burn trash and brush, then clean and organize the cookshed as the morning skies lighten. I hear a shot...Larry tagged a 3 year old 6 pointer...nice weight. Son2 finished him off with a neck shot. We get the buck back to the house and spend an hour dressing and skinning. Son2 sees nothing. The boys shoot .22s for the rest of the day. Larry's son learns all about gun safety and shooting skills. We head out around 3pm.

Jacquilyn wanted to go out 'and get drunk' and I'm thinking the three months she spent shacking up with the ExHubster has done some real harm to her...

So we go out...she has 3 Bellinis and some stuffed mushrooms at Johnny Carinos...I'm drinking Sangria and had fish and rice..she's giddy. We go back to my house and talk until verrrry late. Make ground rules: JustFriends.

Melanie calls..late...she is fine, but she seems to act odd...she's called several times in the past few weeks...never mentions Jason, the CurrentBF. hmmm... I had mentioned her in an earlier blog..she lived nearby, was unhappily married and we got sweet on each other but I turned down 'offers' and opted to wait in the wings until she decided what to do in her marriage. Now the marriage is over and she's living near Dallas. Still sweet. Just friends...she's surprised that Jacquilyn is with me. Not as surprised as I am with her..

(fast forward...) now it's noon on Sunday and she's on the cell phone, yelling at her ExHubster. (Do I need this?) He is moving to a house next door to his 2nd ExWife. DramaDramaDrama. Kids are pissed. He is pissed. Everybody's pissed. She leaves...

I go to the office and work. As usual. Lots of voicemail and emails. Kena had called...left several messages.

FirstLove Kay emailed me...she was in Shreveport this weekend by herself and wanted to know if I was going to be there. I actually considered going up there but the Mom said not to....good thing. I emailed a polite reply. Called the Mom...she said Kay stopped by and visited (?!) The Mom never liked Kay...'she was the unwed mother girlfriend of mine'...had a nice visit, though..

Jacquilyn stops back by around 5pm and apologizes for all that's happened. Sheeze. Son1 comes by and says goodbye...heading back to college. Roars off.

I go back over the ground rules with her: I love you (but) I don't trust you. Unf#@k yourself and we'll stay friends. Hug. Goodbye.

I still haven't called Kena.

Work until 11pm.

Gym for 2 hours.

Sleep exhausted.

Why did I let her back in to my life? Just when I thought I was getting over her.

Jacquilyn. Kena. Melanie. Kay.

I should check back into that Iraq security me a good reason to back away.

....I am so screwed.....

curious082385 31F
4925 posts
11/30/2005 3:18 am

Always here. Still reading. Even if you don't have much time.
Keep your chin up and just breathe. The drama will fade and choices will be made clear.

kyplowboy22 61M

11/30/2005 5:34 am

Sounds like you're knee-deep in estrogen, son. lmao How can one feller get in so much trouble...guess going to Iraq and simply getting shot at does seem like a move up. lol Never a dull moment for a single man, is there? I've only got three words for you....Run, Forrest, Run. You know, it's always funnier to see somebody else in a fix than to be in one yourself. lol Luck to ya, beau. Later


PS: following your story if I don't comment on it. Good stuff.

jim5131 55M
1296 posts
11/30/2005 8:56 am

Hi innocent breath of fresh air in my stifling little blog..... thanxx.

This is like cooking...others throw in ingredients and I never know how much or what it is...I only know that it doesn't smell good enough to serve. I'd hate to commit myself at the expense of others. Too easy to make a bad decision.

jim5131 55M
1296 posts
11/30/2005 8:57 am

Hey nailed it with that comment, my friend. Had to laugh about the Moving Up comment. Sometimes it's easier to find a reason to back away from it all....

rm_sexypinay16 44F
311 posts
12/1/2005 1:09 am

The power of LOVE has not yet found you. Power in the sense that it will make you more daring to love and be loved completely. Love has special powers not to think of oneself but to think of the person we love most. Love is not afraid, it stands through time and circumstances. But in your are taking your are enjoying life and thats good. Just be careful bec in protecting ourselves we sometimes tend to lose a great love that will pass our way...and i hope you might find your way home with a those happy...take care.

Love..Faith ..and Hope..

Justforfungirl5 49F
68 posts
12/1/2005 3:23 pm


You're a problem solver by nature. But you can't fix ALL the broken women in your life. (I think you even commented once in your blog how surprised you were at the amount of crap the women in your life or AdultFriendFinder life have endured.)

Glad to see you seem to have a good sense of boundaries and know when enough is enough. I'd hate to see you get burned out before the woman who's going to want to give to you more than she receives comes your way. She is out there, I'm sure. Save some of that goodness for her. Take care, S

Theflinkychick 105F

12/1/2005 5:41 pm

Justforfungirl5, is right, Jim, please don't use you up before you find that one who will fill you up instead of emptying you out. I KNOW how much pleasure you get from helping your friends, but sometimes too much help is worse than none... {=}take care of YOU, ok?

Not all who wander are lost.

GoddessOfTheDawn 105F
11240 posts
12/5/2005 2:28 am

Nothing to add to the wishez before....

so I'll just send ~warm hugz~

jim5131 55M
1296 posts
12/5/2005 7:50 am

Hi Ladies...thanks so much for your posts...

Pinay, I was worried about you more than anyone on my posting of this part of my recent few weeks...I know you're a tender heart and don't want to bruise it. Thanks for your response....and you're probably right. There are women in my life that love me because of the way I treated them, rather than for who I am..then again, part of who I am is how I treat others...

jim5131 55M
1296 posts
12/5/2005 7:53 am

Hi Katey..thanks for the swift kick in the brainhole. Things have actually gone further in all directions since the original post. I might let the dust settle and blog a little later.

...and don't worry about Iraq, sweetheart, I keep getting those emails from different companies but the money just isn't what I thought it would least I'd know who the sides were..

jim5131 55M
1296 posts
12/5/2005 7:54 am

Hey're right..the one thing I've maintained is the limits..something I didn't have before and learned the hard way.

thanxx for the reply...

jim5131 55M
1296 posts
12/5/2005 7:55 am

Hi Flinky....I miss talking to you...I have GOT to make more effort

thanks for the reply. You're a good friend and I know you care...

jim5131 55M
1296 posts
12/5/2005 7:55 am

Goddess...hugs are good. Your hugs are great....

jim5131 55M
1296 posts
12/17/2005 7:49 am

Hi Waggy...thanxx for dropping in. I love reading your blogs...especially the 2SidesOfYou.

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