|Blogs > jim5131 > Deepening the heart of Texas|
...it is a candle in the wind.
It starts with a flash of good intentions and starlike brilliance...flares brightly with the intensity of a promise of a lasting experience. It settles into a comfortable place within ourselves. The feelings of this lasting glow keeps us warm. We don't look at the length of the candle, only the light it gives us. Hope is newfound faith. A prayer in need of an answer. Faith with a limit. Faith we need to act quickly on. Faith we know can die. And someday will.
It must be nurtured. It must be protected. It is not its own energy source, rather drawing its energy from the conditions of its beginnings, the consumption of its appetite and the closeness of our hearts. Hope gives us meaning, direction and purpose. It illuminates larger pictures.......and fills in details of the darkness that is our world. Without it we plod through life, a life of knowing only what is within our grasp and unsure of anything beyond.
Hope has a dance when threatened. To some, this is its most beautiful times. It encourages us to shield it. It wants to stay alive in our hearts. It is, at these times, the instant when we lose focus on the details and big picture...and simply focus on the hope. It dances to warn us of its demise. Trying to maintain this flame. This dream. This beautiful little thing we need to keep going.
We are afraid of the disbelief. The lost hope....we smile when it proves us wrong. We know that if we ignore it....it dies. Sometimes slowly, often not. We are unaware of it when it is strong. We only see what it produces. Hope. Our world reflected back to us. The light.
And hope needs to be beautiful... Hope needs to be useful. Hope serves its own purpose. To continue onto a faith. Hope gives us the light to look within ourselves. To be resourceful to maintain this hope. This dream of goodness in our lives.
We try to use hope to ignite the faith. The longterm lantern during our hopeful journey. We never know when we will find this faith. Hope will show it to us in its own time. The lantern that will burn through the night and onto the next day. It is its own shield from dispair. It is easily maintained. Its light is far greater than the weak energy given to us by hope. Faith springs from hope. It cannot be reached without it. It cannot be started without it. And without it we use up our hopes. One by one.
And sometimes the conflict is too strong. Hope tries to stay within ourselves. We sacrifice ourselves to protect this hope. We try to keep it lighted. We grasp. We shield. We embrace. We pray for it to be stronger. And for the conflict to cease.
And we lose. And all that is left is the acrid smell of a lost hope. We feel the lack of warmth. The cold of being alone. We miss the dance. We search for that beauty. It is gone.
We look about, as if we look at the world for the first time without hope. Trying to make sense of the shadows. The only path we know is the one we were on. We don't know how to go further. We only know to go back. To the place where we first needed hope.
We go back. Still stumbling in the dark. To the place safe in our minds...where we can only go where hope has shown us safety. Where our way was lighted. When hope was beautiful.
We sit in the comfort of a existence. We toil and eat and sleep in the darkness of a world that we are so familiar with. We are so accustomed to this dark room that we need no hope to light our way. We count the steps to and fro. Day after day. Slowly, deliberately. Afraid to run. To jump. To fly.
We try to remember the details of our life with hope. Its details become fragments of a picture. The picture itself is long gone, lost in the memory of a time when we had hope. We only can recall the bits and pieces and try to reassemble them. In the dark room of our daily lives we can only try to remember the light. Until we stop trying.
Hope. It needs to be beautiful. Again.
2/10/2006 5:51 pm
Yes may hope , faith, and love be with you and left with you when evrything is gone..Inspite of the tremendous pain and storms in our life...let a ray of hope shine..and keep that faith for you to see how beautiful the world can be.|
Love..Faith ..and Hope..
1/28/2008 8:49 am
thank you, Pinay...I love it when you drop in ..|
I saw an Irish movie the other night about a 'soccer hooligan' that was a thug in a gang and knew that he had to straighten up and change himself into a functioning member of society. He had fallen for a girl in town and realized that he really had to pick up his being and character in order to make himself worthy of her love. He struggled between the gang life and the man he knew he had to be. Good won, of course, the the struggle was the focus of the film...
After the movie was over, I went to the office and was actually overcome with this Hope feeling. It was just a jumble of thoughts and words...I started to write and didn't stop until the last word. No thoughts involved, no editing, it just tumbled out.
....and some think that God doesn't work in our lives? I don't have enough faith to think He doesn't...I have too much proof that He does.