...Life Thus Far. At least for now..
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Posted:Jan 24, 2010 10:03 am
Last Updated:Jan 29, 2021 9:06 pm
5726 Views
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Funny how things go..does life lead us or do we lead it? A little of both..if you think you're in control of your life, God is showing how little control you really have.
I've not been spending time here...I've reconnected with old friends and family on the FB site, working my ass off and fixing up the house. And others' houses. And cars. Etc....imagine how they'd feel if they knew that I posted a blog HERE. My stock would soar..at least among the ones who didn't De-friend me. ")
Work is work. Family is family. Relations are sometimes better, sometimes worse. Years ago, I'd blog here and the words just flowed. Now I'm down to finding a funny image and using it as an icon, then using it to inspire a post along those lines.
....thus the Dude. Now there is something liberating for a guy that is on TopOfHisGame. Successful. Grounded. Dynamic. We, as guys, aspire to be ThatGuy, the one who is respected by the community, that the extended family looks up to as the patriarch, the one that has a weight of the world on his shoulders and seems to bear it well. Men want to be him. Women want a man like him. A Man's Man.
But there is a fraction of Al Bundy that we'd like to be. The Dude. A little bit of the Kevin Spacey character in American Beauty. A little of the Will Farrell character in Old School. A lot of the Dude from The Big Leibowski. The Brad Pitt character in Fight Club. The part of us that would just like to toss the bills into the trash, trade in the Caprice for a Trans Am, laugh at the wife's boyfriend, tell the Boss to KissMyAss, get a job that is so much less stressful, and join a gym just so we can look good naked.
...and get a subscription to a site like this one to (1) look for the lonely housewives and oversexed divorcees within our zip codes, or (2)meet people just to fulfill this basic need to connect with someone that is in the similar boat..the one that is white-watering it to the day when ItWon'tMatterAnymore.
(Sigh..) So I do a little of both. Not exactly my standard of a Man's Man...I could do more marketing and pick up business, spread around some more wealth amongst the fam & friends. Take a cruise to the Eastern Caribbean with a few of them. And there are times when I cruise in the Camaro, pick up a few beers at the Valero QuikMart on my way to catch a show at Antone's..
Men are graded, judged, respected, etc., by the ability to give to others. What we can do for others. How we affect others' lives. The impact we make on our society. Man Of The Year. Business leader. Pillar of the Church.
Women, on the other hand, are valued by the amount they hold back. That small percentage, however slight..of the woman that stays hidden. The part they never show us. The part that keeps us guessing....and it's the pursuit of that secret that keeps us interested. This allows for our imagination to keep us alive..when a woman in a thong or bikini is sexier than one completely nude..
Conversely, it is its own downfall..once we learn of the secrets, our interest wanes. It's plugged into our DNA much as it's plugged into the woman's...therein lies the rub.
The RealMen disregard all that DNA stuff and do the right thing. The further away from Primitive Man is another step towards Human Progress. We don't care if we're sleeping with the same woman for 50 years..we love her and all she is. Take care of those around you. Make the next generation better than the previous. Live long, work hard, be honorable, die gracefully. Falling into the Dudeism mentality is to shed responsibility and live for ourselves. Week to week. Deal with what comes as it comes. Or not.
...but there is that moment when we get tired of shaving. And want to just go bowling with the guys. And fight someone just to see if we still can stand up for ourselves. Stand out of the crowd with a car that turns heads. Maybe look back at the football game in the Senior year when we scored four touchdowns in one game.
Guys...we are a little of both. Ladies, please respect us for that..
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...another years passes. Time for a new post...
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Posted:Aug 27, 2009 5:11 am
Last Updated:Jan 29, 2021 9:07 pm
5929 Views
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I have no idea why i do this... I keep this Gold membership and so rarely use it. There are some really good people on this site and we've made friends...still I never stay. Might be from being raised as a military brat, moving every three years. Friends were temporary. Something else I still need to change about myself.
So...an update. Last post was July of last year.
I had been working for an insurance company, per J's requirements. Meetings in Nashville. Expense accounts. Full benefits. Fixed salary. Performance spreadsheets. New software. Business updates. Teleconferencing. Boss. Boss's boss. Ugh. Started up my business again on the side...found new . Money flowed.
I re-established friendship with Charity, as I couldn't when I was married. She wasn't working, still struggling with two teenagers and sharing a house with friend Erika. I got her back with a and moved her to an apartment within walking distance to the kiddos' school. And started taking her to work and back every day. Every day. Every. Day.
Connected with neighbors and tied the neighborhood together. We had nights on patios, grilling steaks and drinking Dos XX beer until 2am. Good people. One of them, Linda, was newly separated from her overweight, abusive, alcoholic, porn-addicted, ho-on-the-side, lazy husband. She was doing all she could to keep her family together. A 15-year-old lovely ( that Son2 had an incredible crush on..) and a chip-off-the-old-block 11-year old . I had met him when I first moved here in July `06 with J and kiddos. Read the body language of the relationship quickly and efficiently: NoLoveThere. They split in April, got ugly quickly. She and I became friends, probably both wanted more.
He dies in September, alone in a rented room, surrounded by sex toys, laptop porn, empty gallon vodka bottles and a .46 blood alcohol content. She calls me at 4am, right after the cops leave the house. Funny how you know when people's lives change as they do. Sometimes as a mixed blessing. As this was.
Linda and I began a relationship to rebuild her life. I painted the house and replaced the garage door, kept the grass mowed and cars up. We had long evenings and red wine, good movies and live music. Conversation was deep when it had to be, light when it needed to be. Lots of lunch dates, in or out. I felt like I was making up for the sins of other men, re-establishing the faith that she lost in that gender. Her kiddos wanted nothing to do with that...the boy took his Dad's place as the family (ab)user. She let him.
Quit the job in January. Free again. To ascend or plummet.
Went on a cruise in February with her..had a great time in the Caymans, Jamaica...all that. Cigars and Grand Marnier on a moonlit deck. MaiTais in the sunshine. Reggae cover bands. Sunlit breakfasts. Intimate room-service picnics in the cabin. Lush green jungle and white sandy beaches. Nice. Kiddos found out we were together on Day4. CryCryCry.
Son1 and Son2 are great: oldest is a junior at Texas A&M and doing awesome. Great job. Good grades. Cool friends. Cute girlfriend. AllThat. Youngest is working at an auto parts store. He had been driving the BMW I bought Desi (and somehow inherited in the divorce) but the winter came on and the heater was bad. His Camaro was yet unfinished in the garage, so I bought him a `98 Z28 and (again, somehow inherited) yet another car. Left me with the `Cruiser project, the daily driver Grand Prix, the BMW635csi (..still to be a started project, but still a driver..), the BMW325es (..just painted..a driver..), the Alfa Romeo Spider (just painted, but needing the convertible top replaced..still a driver..), and the Camaro in the garage(..80% complete..). Sigh.
Found a buyer for Linda's hubster's F150 and steered her toward a BMW X3. She loves it. Awesome. I put her junker Camry up for sale.
Life is good: Business is good. Kiddos are good. Linda is good. BuddySteve and BuddyLarry are good. Friends are good. Church is good. Health is good. is good. Neighbors are good. Almost.
Next-door neighbor Cristin splits with her hubster. She finds out about his beyond-perverted second life, hidden credit cards, layers of lies..all that...we're all friends now...leave me with six single women within sight of my front door. Awesome. Lots of yards to be mowed and heavy boxes lifted. More steaks and wine, laughing on the patio.
Linda's life is becoming worse.. is deviating and becoming uncontrolled. Sex. Drugs. AllThat. Linda decides to move to Midland, five hours northwest. Son2 helps her pack her stuff and we move her. That was July. I'm still trying to sell stuff from her house, sell the Camry and clean her house. FunFun. At least things are looking better there, she's with family. Really miss her now...
Met Amy, a salon-owner with two teenaged daughters that absolutely love me. Her past is similar to all those previously mentioned...alcoholic, abusive, cocained and unfaithful ExHubster. She is faithful and grounded, struggling and friendly. How does this happen to me? Who finds who?
I renovate her garage/Ex's music studio into a cool family room; walls are down, carpet is up, recessed lights are in, everything works. Sheetrock this weekend. Paint and texture in a few weeks. Tile last. It'll be nice...
Son2 moves to Corpus Christi to go to college there. Cool. Corpus is a nice town. I think every stripper I ever met in Texas was from there. Or so they claimed. Maybe it was their stage-hometown. To go with their stage-name.
So I'm alone, more or less. I see Amy when I can. I help Cristin when I can, her house is sold and doesn't know where she'll go...Linda's house is still for sale and probably may be converted to a rental house. I have another truckload of stuff there that needs to go to Midland. Maybe next month.
Charity's life got more complicated when her 17 year old had a baby in May. And is 3 months pregnant again from the same loser boyfriend. I offered to keep both girls (and the babies) at my house under the condition that the 16-year-old thug and the 's loser BF don't come over. NoCanDo. Charity moves back in with Erika. Oh Well.
Camry is still for sale. BMW325 is for sale. Work slows a bit. Oilwell Money still coming in...
So. Last year in a nutshell. I come here and check in with friends..some are still around, some have pulled the plug on this site.
Like my early childhood friends. Oh Well.
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Bud Lite, Bob Schneider and the Nutty Brown Cafe...
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Posted:Jul 7, 2008 8:52 pm
Last Updated:Jul 28, 2018 10:46 pm
5839 Views
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Nice weekend...Thursday traffic combat in Austin was such a chore that I escaped the heat and stopped into the Alamo Theater to catch Hancock..sold out in the north locations..sold out in the south locations...finally resorted to watching the latest Indiana Jones movie.
If you've ever been, or will ever go, to Austin, a movie at the Alamo Drafthouse is a real treat; a first-rate theater with a little Austin nuttiness. A few weeks ago I caught Ironman there..the half hour or so leading up to the movie included clips of Black Sabbath in concert, performing said tune; then a black & white 20-minute episode of the Ironman weekly series from 1962(?)..So Indiana Jones starts with late night interviews of Harrison Ford from 1980 and such. The theater is set up to include a table in front of the rows of seats, and an extensive beer and wine list is available, as well as appetizers and entrees from salads to steaks. Very cool. Yummy beer.
The 4th of July was a quiet one..work in the office..cleaning up cars, etc. Sons 1&2 were at the Former Mrs, her hubster's parents have a lakehouse and boats, so boys, enjoy the weekend. Later in the day Buddy Steve calls & comes over...we head out to the Nutty Brown Cafe for live music & fireworks. Good show. Sat with a former UT Longhorn/LA Rams running back and had good conversation..music by Texas Renegade, Lil Cap'n Travis (to include a TRex cover of 'The Slider...wow) and Bob Schneider. Fireworks at 10:30 were verrry cool.
Ever been to a club and easily picked out the most embarrassing woman drunk in the place? How do they find me? This woman sat with us as table overflow and kept dragging me out on the dancefloor by my shirt. Ugh...
Show was good...Bob was Bob..got back oneish...
Saturday and Sunday were recovery/lazy days. Helped a neighbor move stuff...Son1 came over & caught Hancock at the Drafthouse with two pitchers of Dos Equis and potato skins..not bad. We grilled steaks and talked afterward. Good times...he motored to College Station eightish.
...and now, it's back to work.
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Missed this place, had to stop by & say Hi!
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Posted:Jul 7, 2008 6:37 pm
Last Updated:Aug 22, 2019 12:34 pm
5822 Views
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No sooner had I jumped back into the blogging scene earlier this year when I seemed to have stepped on my own dick..
I was interested in six wonderful women; one in-town, one across town, another across the state, two on the west Coast and one on the other side of the world.
The in-town friend had been friends for about ten years, and we still are..she is only 31 and more like a little sister that always seemed to have bad things happen to her, despite being truly a Good Person. I have done things for her before & will continue, but for an unknown reason, she'll only call when she needs something. Never a social call. Maybe out of embarrassment. I coaxed her and her twin sister over for dinner one evening..had great conversation.. I wonder what she thinks of me...
The cross-towner lashed at me with a pretty harsh email after I tried to help out a bit..I can forgive her, she was under some duress. I have not talked to her since..
The cross-stater and I had been friends for almost 10 years, always friends, one of us was always attached when the other wasn't. No sooner did it start to look promising (..to include a Caribbean cruise this summer..) when she takes a boyfriend and totally falls for the guy. Of course, I wished her the best, we're still in touch every week or so, but in baseball percentages, I'm batting far less this season than last...
The West Coast Anns are similar; the friend in LA is my closest friend..she has been nursing a broken heart for the last year and was just starting to get over it...and she finds a biker boyfriend in her neighborhood. With cancer. And he's, like, 55. Of course I support her and pray for her happiness.
The other Ann was a true gem..in Canada..lovely in every aspect, had a long conversation with her one evening and realized that I'm just not good enough for her. On the positive side, women like that cause men like me to want to be better. If only she were closer...and I better..
The one on the other side of the world is yet another gem. She and I have been friends thru thick and thin..again, on the other side of the world. I think of her a LOT and wonder what it would take to get her to the `States...and scared to death that it may not work out afterward.
..but things are changing..I had withdrawn from blogging and tested the local waters with as much discouragement. I have connected with my neighbors and we have become close, something J would never stand for...I am doing more for the boys now, despite the stretching of their own wings....I keep myself busy, both in the job AND in the business...I am active in the church but not nearly as I once was...I've been able to get work done on the cars, the Alfa is painted and with fresh engine, just needs suspension and tires...and I've reconnected with friends from the past. The expression in Blogland was a missed avenue...
....there are some really good people in here. Love all you guys. Sorry I was such a pinhead during and after J, but she hated any additional connections, especially this community.
So I'll get back to the diaries..the comments.. the emails...the friends all over the world. I can be celebate and keep things on an even keel simply to live an easier, stress-free life.
...and who knows? Maybe I'll be able to stop in and see some of you..
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The Alternative Profile
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Posted:May 7, 2008 10:16 am
Last Updated:May 8, 2015 12:42 pm
5734 Views
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I was previewing a profile I was preparing for another site (...don't ask..I was cornered into it, no kidding..turned out to be totally bogus...) and wanted to contrast it with the profile I wrote here back in `05, or `04..whatever..
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Me:
Divorced, 2 sons (18 & 21, occasionally with me...), hard worker, clean, good cook, keep nice garden & yard, work from home in insurance industry, former Marine, interesting past, friends and family around the world, author, tinker with rebuilding cars, have ranch in East Texas...work out several times a week but I don't overdo it...NOT A PARTIER. Clubs/bars/etc are quiet, pool/three beers and friendly conversation. I don't smoke...drink very little; wine with meals a few times a week..a few beers at a live music show or poolhall.
Love movies: drama/adventure/foreign/mystery y. Either during the week at a local theater or DVD and popcorn..Love Italian dinners in and out (romantic? Is there any other?)..Saturday morning Mexican miga breakfasts at Maria's...daytrips to Llano for barbeque...Weekends in Dallas for sightseeing..enchaladas at Guero's...lazy Sunday afternoons at HalfPricedBooks..long talks over coffee and pie late at night at Kerby Lane...phone calls to say Hello...Bob Schneider at Antone's...
Big house in South Austin. Comfortable income. Australian heeler for constant companion. Half-finished Alfa Romeo convertible for club rides to Fredricksburg.
Flaming heterosexual. Conservative. Grounded in faith. Loooove women but deathly afraid of them....I am keenly aware of their power over men and their (often misused) relational trust.
Thrice Bitten. Cubed Shy. Very Little Time For Girlfriend. Very Little. Sort of a protective measure...
I show love & friendship by doing things for others...if you have a different receiving Love Language, consider another guy...
You:
Your Love Language needs to be Companionship; (just be nice to me, dammit!)..needy women are okay as it doesn't involve a serious dependency, entitlement or victim mentality. NO DRUGS, HEAVY DRINKERS, ABUSERS OR OTHERWISE CRAZIES. If you even THINK you are hormonal or off-center you are probably slightly aware of what others consider radically unbalanced. Drama queens, plastic personalities and self-centered tempests will be summarily avoided.
I will not deal with another woman like that. Emotionally unstable women will not be allowed inside my life. Again. Ever.
Please don't misunderstand me; I am NOT a domineering, alpha male control freak. I give a lot of room and choice to my friends/family and need the same. I think men & women have equal partnerships in relationships; the men look at logic, big-picture and long term, the woman minds the details and emotions of the relationship. One without the other causes the relationship to fly apart.
Looking for pleasant companion...likes to be treated well without being pampered...intelligent without a phony condescending attitude...needs a man to be around, but not clingy... are fine, but I have been a full time Dad to three consecutive womens' since 1997 only to find myself a partime Dad to my own. Never again.
Christian woman real plus...NOT A HIPPOCRITICAL CHRISTIAN. You know yourself, don't you? If you think you aren't walking the walk but going through the motions, keep walking.
I keep myself in good shape: heart, mind & body. My sons are terrific young men. I need no more problems in my life. If you are such a quality woman, I am interested in meeting you.
I might be looking long-term, depending upon how things go.... I am not interested in dating, other than to find that One. I see only one woman at a time. I expect the same....
I like a woman who is as comfortable in jeans/shorts for casual around-town and lake days as she is dressed for a nice dinner. Interested? Google me!
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Have I changed that much? I steer clear of women that I see as potential problems..unstable emotionally..to the point where I avoid women altogether. I sound like some sort of self-centered, egotistical jerk.
Thoughts?
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Nice Guys?
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Posted:May 1, 2008 7:58 am
Last Updated:Jan 3, 2016 6:21 pm
5697 Views
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I spotted this CL post some time ago and had to look it up again...
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I see this question posted with some regularity in the personals section, so I thought I'd take a minute to explain things to the ladies out there that haven't figured it out.
What happened to all the nice guys?
The answer is simple: you did.
See, if you think back, really hard, you might vaguely remember a Platonic guy pal who always seemed to want to spend time with you. He'd tag along with you when you went shopping, stop by your place for a movie when you were lonely but didn't feel like going out, or even sit there and hold you while you sobbed and told him about how horribly the (other) guy that you were fucking treated you.
At the time, you probably joked with your girlfriends about how he was a little puppy dog, always following you around, trying to do things to get you to pay attention to him. They probably teased you because they thought he had a crush on you. Given that his behavior was, admittedly, a little pathetic, you vehemently denied having any romantic feelings for him, and buttressed your position by claiming that you were "just friends." Besides, he totally wasn't your type. I mean, he was a little too short, or too bald, or too fat, or too poor, or didn't know how to dress himself, or basically be or do any of the things that your tall, good-looking, fit, rich, stylish boyfriend at the time pulled off with such ease.
Eventually, your Platonic buddy drifted away, as your relationship with the boyfriend got more serious and spending time with this other guy was, admittedly, a little weird, if you werent dating him. More time passed, and the boyfriend eventually cheated on you, or became boring, or you realized that the things that attracted you to him weren't the kinds of things that make for a good, long-term relationship. So, now, you're single again, and after having tried the bar scene for several months having only encountered players and douche bags, you wonder, "What happened to all the nice guys?"
Well, once again, you did.
You ignored the nice guy. You used him for emotional intimacy without reciprocating, in kind, with physical intimacy. You laughed at his consideration and resented his devotion. You valued the aloof boyfriend more than the attentive "just-a-" friend. Eventually, he took the hint and moved on with his life. He probably came to realize, one day, that women aren't really attracted to guys who hold doors open; or make dinners just because; or buy you a Christmas gift that you mentioned, in passing, that you really wanted five months ago; or listen when you're upset; or hold you when you cry. He came to realize that, if he wanted a woman like you, he'd have to act more like the boyfriend that you had. He probably cleaned up his look, started making some money, and generally acted like more of an asshole than he ever wanted to be.
Fact is, now, he's probably getting laid, and in a way, your ultimate rejection of him is to thank for that. And I'm sorry that it took the complete absence of "nice guys" in your life for you to realize that you missed them and wanted them. Most women will only have a handful of nice guys stumble into their lives, if that.
So, if you're looking for a nice guy, here's what you do:
1.) Build a time machine.
2.) Go back a few years and pull your head out of your ass.
3.) Take a look at what's right in front of you and grab ahold of it.
I suppose the other possibility is that you STILL don't really want a nice guy, but you feel the social pressure to at least appear to have matured beyond your infantile taste in men. In which case, you might be in luck, because the nice guy you claim to want has, in reality, shed his nice guy mantle and is out there looking to unleash his cynicism and resentment onto someone just like you.
If you were five years younger.
So, please: either stop misrepresenting what you want, or own up to the fact that you've fucked yourself over. You're getting older, after all. It's time to excise the bullshit and deal with reality. You didn't want a nice guy then, and he certainly doesn't fucking want you, now.
Sincerely,
A Recovering Nice Guy
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.........it just seems so appropriate.
I'm running out of time to blog...things have been very busy.
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Life is a blur..........
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Posted:Mar 18, 2008 6:58 am
Last Updated:Jul 7, 2008 5:56 pm
5703 Views
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I HAVE been busy...lots going on, business stuff, legal stuff, house stuff, financial stuff, automotive stuff, gardening stuff, stuff, etc...I haven't had time to blog or comment in some time.
I'm going after J to get paid for work I did on her property before we married (SURPRISE! Pay me!). She had promised to pay (she reunited with her hubster during that time) this amount to demolish her old house and level her lot, I did all the work and she never spoke to me after I started. Until she stepped back into my life in `05. She did, after all, get all the furniture I bought, a VW Jetta that I bought, $2500 in the divorce AND another $2500 option (by me) to pay her the half-equity in the house..I think she's doing fine, considering she paid nothing for this property-grab marriage.
I am paying her the $2500 I owe her today from the divorce and getting my Grand Prix back..I have NO IDEA what king of shape it's in. I'm reasonable sure it will need a transmission as soon as possible...and I know she didn't maintain it in the past two months.
I'm paying the atty $1500 for screwing me (how did that happen?)
...I'm getting the Alfa Romeo out of the shop today and having it towed to the house. I am almost finished fixing up the Landcruiser to sell it  but I think I'll test-paint it before painting the Alfa. (..and BMW325es)..The other BMW635csi will probably need a custom mix for its champagne color, so it will need to come later. I am ordering a bunch of suspension parts to overhaul that...but now the computer is acting up. Bummerzzzzzzzz.
My friend Robyn is in a position to get her a new liver, but the emergency air service will be $9k as soon as the liver is available. I am going to do what I can there..if the oil money comes in I can do the whole thing..maybe.
Church is busy, I'm doing a Walk for a Well...we're sponsoring some well-drilling in Africa (..details sketchy..) and I'm involved in that..
I am working with an atty to get the title search finished on the ranch...there is oil & gas drilling going on and I found out that I am NOT in the pool...now I found that I am..but only 42 acres. Better than nothing...$$ are very promising.
I am dropping a bunch of engine parts to my (former Mrs) brother-in-law's machine shop to get them set up for Son2's Camaro. I want that up and running before summer, including paint.
I'm getting a living room set tomorrow..a mattress and box spring are going to be delivered later today (..and it's raining!)
I just started on a fellow blogger's septic system..dug for a few hours yesterday & found it too deep for exploratory digging, so we'll get it emptied and I'll find the outlets from there..I will likely get a front end loader/backhoe to complete the job. Soon.
I still have claims from the company and the side business...7 new assignments today, including one in Mason, 80 miles west.
RunJimRun...
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Heaven And Hell, for our Euro friends..
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Posted:Mar 4, 2008 8:45 pm
Last Updated:Jan 29, 2021 9:13 pm
5860 Views
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Heaven is where the police are British, the chefs are Italians, the mechanics German, the lovers are French and the administrators are Swiss.
Hell is where the police are German, the chefs are British, the mechanics French, the lovers Swiss and the administrators are Italian.
(I'm sorry...I heard this years ago and loved it, as a former European...)
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Divorce is Final. I need a drink...
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Posted:Mar 4, 2008 2:12 pm
Last Updated:Jul 28, 2010 10:12 pm
6124 Views
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Universal law: Love can neither be created nor be destroyed, it can only be transfered from one girlfriend to another girlfriend.
Why do I do this to myself? No sooner did I get divorced in `97 (..and I wantd to be married FOREVER..) when I searched for a replacement.
I shopped for six years, most of that time I was celibate. Self-induced. I wasn't looking to get married when I actually did.
Why?
I cook. I clean. I make good money (I did make more self-employed..). I keep myself in (fair) shape. I'm not bad in bed (so I'm told..). I'm not a troglodyte. I have good credit. I am thrifty. I a witty. I am grounded in my character. I am faithful. I love to laugh (and love more to make others laugh). I want to live life and be with a wife. Is that so bad?
I don't drink (occasional wine with dinner...okay..). I don't smoke, don't gamble ( with money..), complain, yell, mope, laze around, whine, condemn, steal, lie, cheat or hate.
I do what I can to please my lady. Read her language. Satisfy her needs. If I have given all I can and continue for..years..and find it all in vain, why do I feel guilty for failing? Who can blame me for backing away from anything female after that?
...and still, I have this immediate need to find something.....no, someone. Someone to take all that away. Someone to set the gender 'right'. Someone for whom I can say "I was a mess until I met (insert name of superwoman here)," like all those great love stories you hear about...even here.
I'd like to think that we all began with a love story..most of us did, I suppose, not that we have any choice in the matter. Those of us that have felt it need it. Those that haven't felt it want it, for they know all too well the empty bed, the single dinners, the movies for one. We all have that want to have that Story. The Love Story.
We all feel endeared to hearing about how couples found themselves. How they grew to love themselves. Their Story. How nice...
I don't need a woman to clean and cook for me. I can do that just fine...
I need a woman I can love. Really love...
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The Replacement Wife
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Posted:Mar 1, 2008 6:48 pm
Last Updated:Jul 28, 2010 10:14 pm
6027 Views
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Someone (...and forgive me if I can't recall who it was...) had a blog post about dogs & cats..I had to mention the fact that I always kept a female cat in the house so I would never want to have a girlfriend.
Reasons?
I need someone to greet me at the door after a long day of work and want to be fed right away. Before I do anything else. Now. Or I'll make noise.
I need someone who is aloof to my attempts of attention and stroking, unless she feels like it, of course. And if I'm busy, even just watching TV..stop what you're doing and talk to me, dammit.
I need someone to let me know, in no uncertain terms, that she is pissed at me. She controls the relationship and I have no say in it whatsoever.
I need someone that does NOT want me to see her in the restroom. Otherwise I'm looking at a quick wipe and hasty exit. With certain mess. Nice..
I need someone who sleeps with me..and nothing else. Oh, she makes fun of my stomach, in her own stupid cat way..
I need someone with kittens by some other tomcat. So I can be a fulltime Dad to hers and a parttime Dad to my own.
...so I rescued an 8-month old female tabby the other day.
.......sigh. Never again.
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Pomegranate trees and Fajitas..
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Posted:Feb 26, 2008 9:27 am
Last Updated:Mar 4, 2008 4:58 am
5959 Views
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Busy weekend...I used to 'do' most of my blogs in a diary format..I missed that, among other things from this site.
I'm by myself in this big empty house for the moment..I used to have a smaller house and office/shop for the auto business...now I have an office in the house. I'm comfortable and getting more so in life. Life is quite different from when I was blogging years earlier. I will be glad when the whole legal stuff is over and divorce is final.
Son2 lives with his mother close to the high school north of Austin. I'm there for most of his soccer games... Son1 is in his third year at Texas A&M, works parttime..studies fulltime. I couldn't pray for better sons. Truly.
I am working to make the house 'mine' to erase the old feelings of the joys and pains that these walls have felt in the past. I've been getting ideas on painting and furnishing...(thanks). I have plenty of time..
Saturday.... planted a pomegranate tree, something I haven't seen since Spain/Italy/...no. wait, I saw some in Saudi Arabia. I didn't think they'd grow here. Cool. Good for the liver/kidneys. Also planted a 2nd peach (to last years' first tree), bought several large plants for the house interior and repotted using existing pots. I bought numerous tomato plants, basil, parsley and oregano..after I gt the garden prepped, I'll figure out what else to plant..squash, peppers, melons...
..cleaned out the backyard, mowed grass, trimmed trees, hoed the garden (I need to rent a tiller...ugh) and cleaned the water garden.
BuddyLarry's 8-year-old had a soccer game in Oakhill at 11am, Larry & I motored to Llano to pick up a 7-week old female Great Pyrenees puppy & didn't get back until 8pm. We stopped at a grocery store in Austin to pick up a few bottles of wine...I stood out by the store's front doors. EVERY (..and beautiful woman) stopped to pet the puppy..and several women mentioned the 'chick magnet' aspect of the puppy. Yup. I need a dog..
Sunday was later church service...I was supposed to meet a lady that invited me but she was a no-show..service was good. I think I will go to the early service from now on..11am is too late to start the day. Church is expanding and building. Perfect. A place to connect and grow...much like the last one, except without strings to the past.
BuddyLarry had a fajita dinner and more friends over planned later that day..(including a possible setup with a single lady..NOT interested)..I went over to work on his old Landcruiser, diagnosed it to a faulty fuel pump, couldn't get the part...helped with the dinner and cleanup. I left around 9pm with a headache.
..worked all day yesterday in the office...new assignments calling me...RunRunRun.
Life is returning to Normal Mode.
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Old lessons, new analogies..
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Posted:Feb 21, 2008 8:49 am
Last Updated:May 8, 2015 12:54 pm
6035 Views
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Cat (CozyRed) had a post the other day about being with her Grandmother as she passed away.. stop in and check out [post 1281606]..very sweet.
It made me think of one of the MANY things my Grandma taught me as I was a -ager at our East Texas farm..and kinda ties in to one of my posts the other day as well. Grandma was a of the Depression and knew only hard work all of her life. She was cantankerous, worldly, generous to a fault and full of great stories. I loved her dearly, yet didn't really know her until I arrived back from Germany when I was 15. I learned a LOT from her and loved the way she mixed stories with lessons...another thing I have a habit of doing.
She said that in farming, in order to produce a good crop of almost anything, you need to share it with your neighbors. If they have a poor strain of corn, their pollen will migrate onto your fields and reduce the quality of your own corn. In order to keep quality high, you need to take some of your corn seed to your neighbors.
Isn't that like so much more in life? Take care of your neighbors and friends and your own qualities will improve. Improve their lives and you will be blessed. Be a good neighbor and friend in order to have good neighbors and friends.
Though I've always felt this way, I didn't think that I realized that until Cat mentioned it, that lesson came from her.
Thanks Cat...
Thanks Grandma...
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Does everybody go thru this?
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Posted:Feb 19, 2008 9:41 am
Last Updated:Aug 25, 2009 9:31 pm
6015 Views
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I'm usually a pretty good sleeper...I can hit the rack around midnight and sleep well until 7ish. It appears I have a 3 1/2 hour sleep pattern, and so long as I have one or two per night, I'm usually good to go for the remainder of the day..
In the 90`s I was in a severe depression following a divorce and I was dedicating myself to NOT be as such this time around..and I'm not. This is the most peaceful I've been in years, despite the Big Empty House (furniture is being delivered late today..).
I remember what it was like, trying to go to sleep during those Dark Years..now I look back at that and laugh...My problem is that my brain seems to come alive when I try to sleep,though it does a good job of being dormant in the middle of a conversation with an attractive woman.
Lying in bed, I wind up having an interior dialogue, like this:
Me: Okay, lights are out. Time to sleep.
Brain: (plays old Lynyrd Skynyrd melody..) I'm bored. Let's chat.
Me: No. Sleep. Turn off the music.
Brain: (changes to Little Redwing, the neighborhood ice cream truck jingle) Now would be a good time to worry about why your wife met that other man while you were overseas.
Me: No! There's nothing I can do about that right now.
Brain: I disagree. How are those credit card bills coming along? We can calculate how long it will take to pay them off, based on your current rate of debt reduction. I'm coming up with the winter of 2010.
Me: ...and this helps get me to sleep?
Brain: Our legs are itchy. Are there bugs under the covers?
Me: What?
Brain: I've got a question. Do you honestly think you can afford this house and raising your sons on your salary?
Me: Just stop, okay? No more thoughts.
Brain: Hey, what does that roll of blankets at the foot of the bed look like to you?
Me: It looks like a roll of blankets.
Brain: Could be a snake.
Me: This is madness. How could a snake get in here?
Brain: A rattler..
Me: There is no snake. Go to sleep.
Brain: Rattlers are poisonous, you know. Shhh! Listen!
Me: What is it?
Brain: I think I heard someone coming in the window carrying a chainsaw.
Me: Oh for....
Brain: Remember Cindy Achee?
Me: Wha...yeah. Junior year...so?
Brain: She had, like, size 2 shoes. Like walking on stilts.
Me: Yeah...she DID have tiny feet...what? Go to sleep!
Brain: Lynette Riggs. ( changes music to some hair band from the late `80's)
Me: Lynette Riggs? What about Lynette Riggs?
Brain: You almost killed her.
Me; I did not! I loaned her my Blazer and she wrecked it coming back from Vegas! How...
Brain: And that makes you innocent, somehow?
Me: My God, it's like talking to a patent attorney. Go to sleep!
Brain: Don't you have a speeding ticket that you've never paid for?
Me: I do not! The last one was in Temple and I took defensive driving.
Brain: Not that one. The one from Austin.
Me: ???
Brain: I sure am glad I'm in charge of thinking here.
Me: Shit....I'll check on it tomorrow.
Brain: Maybe you should get up and check in the mirror. Hey, what are the symptoms of shingles? I think we've got it.
Me: We're not getting out of bed, we're going to lie right here and go to sleep.
Brain: Oh yeah right. Did you remember to turn off all the burners on the stove?
Me: Yes, I did.
Brain: Are you sure? I think I smell smoke. You cheated.
Me: I... huh?
Brain: Disneyland. 1992. Gave the gift vendor a ten for two drinks she gave you change for a twenty. How can you live with yourself?
Me: I didn't mean to! I already walked off and didn't find out until...
Brain: It's not too late to set the record straight. Check their website. It probably has a page for honest people that shorted Disneyland. Can you seriously not smell something burning? I can practically hear the flames.
Me: Fine!
Brain: Check the front door, too. I know you forgot to lock it.
So I'm wide awake now. And it's 2am. I get out of bed and curl up in my youngest 's bed. Whether or not he's sleeping in it or at his mother's house, the innocence that fills the room wards off the demons of my life.
I sleep....
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