Stop Playing Games: Own Your Sexuality  

jesme69 52M
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7/10/2005 6:34 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Stop Playing Games: Own Your Sexuality

Written this past winter for publication.

Could I give you a sexual experience? Sex and sexuality is so loaded. Why are so many unable to seek connection through intimacy without the baggage of relationship? There’s nothing wrong with relationship but we are also very much in need of the physical creativity that we express through our sexuality. This isn’t always available in the context of a relationship. Why else do so many people obliterate or numb their senses with alcohol and marijuana in order to take part in these activities; to give themselves permission?

Single again at 40 I ache for the warmth of a female companion. I want to share the simple pleasures of making love; the unselfish act of giving sexual pleasure and receiving the same. I want to experience the warm nurturing that comes from such an experience. Part of our wholeness as human beings is connected to our sexuality and its expression. With the act of sex and release we experience health benefits, chemically, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. It’s not just about being comfortable with our sexuality. Our soul sings with the joy and rush of an intimate encounter unburdened from guilt and expectations.

My ideas are varied, my theories are flawed, and my needs are raw. All of which combine to make for a confusing fantasy/reality. After years of living in a sheltered area of suburbia I see much more flagrant sexuality walking the streets, chatting up in coffee shops and along sidewalks of the West End where I now live. I’m astounded at how raw and over the edge they appear, and yet, I’m also astonished that most people involved appear to be very much in-touch with who they are as individuals and in relationship to their community.

Elsewhere, I see fear, a subtle nervousness. Attractive women focus their eyes on some distant point or drop their gaze to the sidewalk to avoid eye-contact, missing my smile and nod of greeting and appreciation. Are they afraid? Is it intimidating to acknowledge their beauty, sexuality and womanhood? Do they feel they might be giving up part of their personal power? I hope not. I prefer women who own their sexuality and womanhood, realizing an even greater personal power previously left untapped. As a man I can’t really speak for women but I have noticed an admirable difference with women I’ve known who own every aspect of being a woman, with their charms, sexuality, and ability to tame wild beasts.

I would like to see each of us experiencing our personal power and strength; able to express ourselves fully in every aspect of our humanness. Take responsibility for your own self, your own emotional health, and your own spiritual health. And so what if you have sexual desires? Take care of your sexual health too! Yes, give me sex, nurturing, warmth, and all the intimate fuzziness without the alcohol. Could I give you a sexual experience? I’d accept that. If you’ve got what is takes to jazz my wiring, I’d let you give me a sexual experience.

I tell ya, I'd find it a lot easier to own my sexuality too with a little help from a friend.

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