What is it worth?  

jenniferfreak 35F
128 posts
5/9/2006 12:19 pm

Last Read:
5/11/2006 3:00 pm

What is it worth?

Being someone who just got out of a relationship with a long time friend due to the fact that he couldn't keep his pants on- that is -with other women- I'm still trying to iron out the whys, and how comes. I've been a firm believer in honesty even if it hurts. Even before I agreed to be his gf I said," IF you want someone else, be honest with me, give me the chance to stay or go." I've talked to a few unnamed people who tried to get me to meet them somewhere who were married or in a relationship. "Sex is boreing..." or "I don't love her anymore but..." or my fav. "What she doesn't know can't hurt her." IT sickenss me that people can toss others whom they've shared their lives with, aside like they're nothing. Cheating is wrong. You don't love her/him, tell her/him, not everyone one else. It's not going to work out anyways if your looking else where, so why not let the pain be over with and allow them to move on to someone they love and enjoy. Isn't it selfish to keep them and start toying with someone else? WHo wins? My ex stated he didn't love me for serveral years in our five year relationship so eeting women on line, then having them meet him at work or takeing my truck to go see them (while tellign me he was at work or the truck was having 'hood' problems) while I wondered at home why he was so distant. When I found conversations and videos- he kept saying they weren't him, or a hacker, or it was just once. Why not tell me then? Has anyone had simular sistuation they would like to share? Maybe we can help ourselves move pasted the suffering and hurt.

rm_clwtx 42M
11 posts
5/9/2006 1:25 pm

My ex and I had a very open relationship. I let her do her thing with the girls and I did my thing with the guys. At the end of the night we both knew that we were coming home to each other. That used to be once a month or so. Then it changed to every other week, and from there every week. I caught her with someone at a restaurant that was special to us(I thought.) We knew some of the people that worked there so when she walked in one of the guys that worked there called me. When I approched her at the restaurant she told me that she had been seeing him because he could give her what I couldn't. I asked here what that was seeing she had just given birth to our daughter. She didn't have to work, we had a very active sex life and she got the car she wanted for her engagement gift. I thought I was going to lose it. So yes it is hard, but things in your life that don't make it easy help you mature better.

INibble69 35M
4 posts
5/9/2006 1:46 pm

Don't feel too bad hun. Most relationships in the end suck. I was with a girl for 3 years, and she always told me how she wanted to marry me. Well I finally went out, bought the ring and asked her to marry me. Two weeks later I find out that she was fucking around with two other guys (one of them being my best friend). All she ended up wanting from me was a way out of her house, I guess the guys were here way out of mine. The thing to remember is that there is hope to meet someone right for you. Hope this helps.

rm_kneel_be4me 48M
457 posts
5/9/2006 2:08 pm

It has to do with the degredation of what a comitment is... We as a society dont stress to eachother the importance of a commitment. The second side is his lack of being an adult... That doesnt have anything to do with age, that has to do with responcibility and how we deal with it. He wasnt mature enough to be honest with you, and he didnt have the commitment to you to stay faithfull to you. In a situation like that you didnt do anything wrong, dont try and look at yourself. It was all him. The hard part now is for you to put it behind you, learn from it, and move on.

rm_This_Justin 39M

5/9/2006 5:28 pm

I can't say I have been the cheater in a relationship, my ex didnt' really cheat on me while we were together, but we would break up for like a week, and she would have already been messing around before she came crawling back. Not what caused us to break up, but not my favorite thing to think back on. I have always been up front and honest, and would like to be treated the same. I don't have to know that they are moving on with someone else, hell, lie to me to break up, just dont cheat on me while we are together. If things are not working, then figure it out or fuck it. Plenty of others out there, and it does hurt, (still hurts a little after 2 months)but Im happy about things and myself now.

jenniferfreak 35F

5/9/2006 6:36 pm

Oh my. all of your stories are very moving. I understand totally. I've talked to at least 10 other guys with similar stories of how women fucked them up. Several of them refuse to go into a long term relationship because of it. I think that's sad. Good guys and gals get screwed over by some weak asses and it taints their perspective on relationships...some positive others negative. Thank you for sharing your stories.

rm_younggun186 38M
1 post
5/11/2006 2:05 am

People can change but you don't have to be the one to suffer through his issues. And he is the one with issues. When someone looks at you with passion, that is all it is--a momentary, intense feeling. Someone who is overly selfish only knows that moment and how they themselves feel. THey may not even be capable of love. But, he like many of us may not even be looking for love. So, if you know that is where he is then you can either be cool with that, wait for him to change, or move on.

jenniferfreak 35F

5/11/2006 9:04 am

True that

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