19 years 12 months  

jdapussypumper 30M
1 posts
1/3/2006 5:07 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

19 years 12 months


From the day that I was born to the point I am now, I’ve experienced mush bullshit for real no doubt. From fatherless birthdays, to break ups and heart breaks. 2 years old on tricycle you could see no smile, no facial expression, no one knows why. He knows instinctively the future that’s laid out before him. He sees nothing to smile about, only pain and suffering only stuff to cry about. Naïve young man, he believes everything he hears, sees, and reads it’s sad. Or is he just crazy, not knowing how to handle the world that it is. Is he living in tail of endless possibilities. A land that he was led to believe that existed. As this young boy ages and matures he sees that there is no such land. And because of this he is sickened and saddened that the world he was led to believe can not be this life, but in his life after death. He then believes that the only way that he can reach this land of endless possibilities where sadness doesn’t exist is to endure the make believe. Months and months go by and nothing has changed. Under the spell that he is divine, he begins to understand it was a little white lie. He becomes immune to what surrounds him. He is no longer the man that everyone once knew. The joyous, kind hearted, laugh out loud young man. Instead he is a cold man with no one to look to and no one that can understand him, but his family and even then there are times where his family blends in with the traits of the world that we live in. He can’t sleep, he can’t eat, wondering why there isn’t any one he can meet. That will feel his pain or sees what he goes through. Because he notices that only he can understand his logic, he no longer seeks advice from the people around him. Regardless of what they tell him he will only believe and trust himself. Killing him softly from the inside his gut is churning giving him the taste of vomit in his saliva. Karma can come and haunt a man till he is dead. But what is a man to do when he feels that constantly the people he considers his friends commit the sin of theft, by stealing my right to know the truth. Almost always this naïve man is blindsided by a truth he did not, could not believe existed. Sad as it seems he is not valued by the people he tries to love the most. Time and time again he ventures off to look for a new friend. Searching for someone that will understand the truths that he believes. Yet time and time again he fails, due to his greatest weakness. Hope is what drives him to continue searching so he won’t die alone and cold. Yet the hope that drives him is the same thing that will end his life in pain and misery and forever making him an OUKKAST

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