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The Art of Blog Part 7
The Art of Blog Part 7
Ok Part 7. The final bit (For now!)(I promise)
So you're still waiting to get on the pitch of blog....raring to go....what can you do to stay 'active'?
Keep your blog current, post daily, keep yourself 'online'
Insinuate yourself into all the blogs you think might further your ambitions to get 'noticed'
Suck up to the Top Blog Dogs through sycophantic but self-serving admiration
(I'm going to get such stick for this, I can feel the knives sharpening already)
If you're still struggling to get recognition you might need to re-think about how you want to 'present'....so:
Adopt a Blog Persona that conveys the impression of being reliably and consistently the same: so you're the Cheer-up Clown, or the Sad Self-Pitier, or the Know-All Stud, or the Earnest Edifier, or the Ribald Rabble-Rouser, or the Uncle John, or the Heartfelt Sermoniser, or the Mr Nice Guy, or the Cheeky Monkey, or the Pervy Pornographer....or the Tear-jerker...or the jerker....or the jerk...(actually scrub jerk out, jerk is the last thing you want to personify) (Blogging is definitely a non-jerk activity)
Could you re-jig your 'write-style'?
Is it flowery? Is it sparse? Is it poetic? Is it Rilke or is it Bukowski? Does it get to the guts? Does it stimulate a hard -on? Does it get the juices going? Does it make a wet patch on your leather couch?....
Still can't get on...and only 10 minutes to go...
Change your blog handle. Call yourself:
The BumFucked One or
KissMyTit or (Prick)...or
Post posts with cunt-catching titles:
Fucked by a 3 foot brush... or
Spanked on my titties, spanked on my arse...or
Licking the cum from my mouth...or
Spit on the twat that feeds you...or
Rimming and reaming for beginners....blah blah..
As a blogger, as a male blogger give up appealing exclusively to females. You need to catch the cocks too. Think about it: males outnumber females 20 to 1. As a blogger you're going to have to have male-appeal too. For that you're going to probably need to do alot more throw-away flippant humour...lighten up man...be bathetic not pathetic....ditch the poetic for the prosaic...click onto joke websites to sprinkle levity into the lifes of the leaden-hearted....go for smart-ass clever clever witticisms that make you seem coolly and urbanely, knowingly wise..... make interminable Nick Hornby-like lists that go on and on and on....
This is no good, gonna do me no good at all
No way i'm going to get picked now
(Even though I'm a great striker - score every time)
Maybe i should get a transfer
Play for the opposition!
Not the Bloggers...but the Blaggers
If i had got on the pitch....i got red carded by now...
I'm off....sent off....an early bath...
But I'll be back.....with the oranges, the soft soapy sponges.....
10/10/2005 5:03 pm
... or I dunno, be yourself?|
no, wait, that will never work.
I loved the whole 'Art Of Blog' series. It made me want to read the rest of your blog...which I did. Well done!
Though all of your points are well made, I think I would rather be read by 7 people who "got it" , than to be read by 57 people who were kissing my ass because I was a popular blog.
Popularity is a fickle mistress. Interesting writing will stand the test of time.
10/11/2005 3:52 am
Hi there Sj|
So you're saying be an 'interesting writing' person rather than a 'be yourself'person?!
I'd like this space to be more a 'kick ass' than a 'kiss ass' blog...but i doubt I'll have the guts to do it....I'm just too much on the outside...a mere minnow....maybe I can make Truth and Integrity my benchmark when i feel like I'm an integral part of this club (or is it community?)
10/11/2005 4:05 am
I get what you're saying. I made a splash yesterday, I jumped in....with all my clothes on!....so your 'define who yourself is' comment could be related to you wanting to see me underneath my ironic detachment.....naked!...or at least abit more vulnerable and sharing of what it is to be me...... i don't know....I'll have to keep testing the water first.....
You were spot on though
10/20/2005 4:44 am
The Art of seduction....conceal more than you reveal.....give a little tantalising glimpse......Hey, i thought it was women who were meant to be doing this kind of thing!.....