|Blogs > italian375 > italiam375|
Ever been in a rut? Nothing seams to go right, nothing positive happens. Even the people you meet don't interest you. You pick out their faults in an instant, and politely you remove yourself from the conversation, because you just can't be bothered with the small talk.
Have you ever felt that the rut gets deeper and deeper. Even when something positive happens you just downplay it? So you talk to your friends about it and they just tell you what you already know. You are in a rut and things will get better. So then you go in search of something that gives you pleasure, you revert to something that you are really not, a long ago person that is no more. When you realize that this person is no more. You try to adjust to the new you. Who is this person? I was never like that, what is happening to me? So you try to find a happy place, where the old and the new can coincide as one. You try desperately to never let go of the old you. Realistically in moments of clarity, you realize that he's slipping away for good.
I admire people who can adjust to life changes and embrace them as a positive experience. I'm trying in my own way to adapt to change and embrace it, but how long will it take? So I came to a conclusion, I will never let go of my past, it will always be with me, it is just filed away for now. I will embrace the new me and if I had such a wonderful life before, I certainly will have it again, just a little different. I guess it comes down to choices. "We are the choices we make" the choice to allow new people in your heart, the choice to embrace the past with fond memories and not be sad that it's not there anymore, the choice to embrace the new, and look forward to what it brings, good or bad.
So here I am, an open book, new pages to fill, new choices to make and new people to meet.