be wary when proposing  

irjay19732 42M
2 posts
1/20/2006 7:44 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

be wary when proposing

i still have contact with my ex.

why is she my ex? well even tho we had discussions about group sex and trying new things. she decided to cheat behind my back. it lasted a few weeks before i realised that my trust in her was wrong.
i caught her out.
she thought i knew, and admitted all.
well i didnt know. just had one of those days. she took it, as my realisation and spilled her guts.
what pissed me off was it was in the middle of my preparations for proposing. i wanted something special and memorable.

i can forgive her error,we are all human and make mistakes, but i cant forget. there would be no trust thereafter.
she has a boy friend now but still tells me how much she misses me. i long to fuck her again but the lust and excitement of marriage is gone. i wonder to myself whether its lust or love.
i reckon i was smiled upon and my suffering will subside, but when you stay friends its hard. she wasnt a bad girl, just young and innocent.
there i go again defending her. whats wrong with me i know i cant go back but i cant bring myself to hate her.

candy_cane71 45F

1/20/2006 10:59 am

she's moved on, you can do better. sure you still love her, you were about to propose after all, but do yourself a favour and choke the lust and let yourself grieve what is lost. she has a boyfriend yet she tells you she misses you? move on mate.

rm_MustangD6644 51M
1031 posts
1/20/2006 11:55 pm


There is little in the way of consolation I can offer at a time like this, when your heart is breaking, your guts have been ripped out and your balls crushed.

You have however learnt a valuable if painful lesson about people, love and lust. Fortunately the price you paid was not as high as some, but you must learn the lesson or it will be repeated until you do, and each time the price will escalate. For me the price was very heavy, and nearly cost me my life.

I recommend you write down all your feelings, the lessons you have learnt, your resolutions for the future etc. and make two copies.

Place one copy in an envelope, to be accessed when you feel that you are faltering and want her back. It is to remind yourself just what occured.

Take the other copy, walk out to the back yard and as long as it is not a Day of Total Fire Ban, set fire to the letter.

This is to symbolically burn the emotions involved, and put this in your past.

You are now scorched earth, so if she says to you that she misses you, you can calmly reply that you have moved on.

Part of why she is saying that to you, is to reassure herself as to her attractiveness and desirability. So what does that say to you about her maturity and committment to a relationship?

She wasn't ready and still isn't capable of making a committment.

Find someone better for you.


PS candy cane that is a lovely photo, ggggrrrrr

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