Funny sex stories  

RapesBuffsTapes 52M
3 posts
8/29/2005 7:44 pm

Last Read:
10/13/2010 5:31 pm

Funny sex stories

One time I was having sex with the woman. It was our first time together. I began to get a cramp in my foot in the arch from curling my toes. I must have been making a face because she asked me if I was alright. Being a guy and because it was our first time, I put up the macho front and said no. Less than a minute later I was screaming for her to get off (and I don't mean sexually). Fortunately, we just laughed about it and it was the beginning of an almost 2 year incredible sexual adventure that continually got better every time until the end. Too bad we didn't have anything else in common. If you have a funny sex story, please share it with everyone.

AtomicKisss 58M

8/29/2005 9:57 pm

Good idea... I can't think of any off the top of my head but I'll work on it.

BreastyBeauty2 59F
43 posts
1/3/2010 2:13 pm

Well I was making out with my hubby at the time and we were very young back then.... He slipped and missed the target so I ended up with this perfectly round pecker head bruise at the side of my thigh. We were in the Okanagan at the time with family in the pool constantly with all the family asking where the really perfect round bruise came from !! ha ha ha We laughed about this for a few years after when one of my sister's would bring it up.

The other one that comes to mind is the first and last date with the "Hillbilly"....32 yrs old a Wrestler/Firewood Chopper with 9 children from 3 different mothers. He arrived with his 3 yr old son 30 mins early for the date sporting a smile with new missing teeth from a wrestling match and all these tattoo's which were not in his pictures he sent me....I had only one eye made up and wasn't fully dressed so that was rather embarrassing for me. They left a trail of sawdust across my carpet while they waited for me to finish getting ready. The little boy was so dirty I just wanted to put him in the bath tub and clean him up.....He then drove us in a duct taped together old G M C Van both exterior and interior sported many rolls of tape applied... painted camouflage advertising the family band to Mcd's for a 25 cent ice cream cone... Then off to the local warehouse food store to show me the marked down bulk bagged food he bought his family. He asked me in front of the three year old if I would be his (sex buddy) I'm using a nicer term for here of course. I said I would get back to him about it which I did saying "NO"... My reasons were mostly his lack of judgement in front of his child not his financial situation.. His lack of intelligence to have his child over hear all of that just shocked me.... He was a single father raising 5 children of the 9 so I did give him credit for that.... Not many men would be able to raise 5 children on their own.

At the time I was horrified and so shocked but now looking back all I can do is laugh at my terrible luck when I first started dating through the internet. installment .... "The Hair Lip" which didn't bother me at all but all of his pictures were taken making sure not to show it. The problem was he brought his 4 yr old along on the date and they both stunk so badly I was gagging in the car on the way to the beach for a walk....Same thing asking me in front of the child once again that same line as the previous story!! aarrgggg ha ha

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