REVISITING  

interested13563 53M
985 posts
8/26/2005 12:04 pm

Last Read:
5/9/2006 4:25 pm

REVISITING


The moon is melting
into silver waves
that are drifting
towards the shore
heavy with the consciousness
of the past,
carrying the wreckage
of old centuries,
now gone.
At a nameless corner
the unpretentious jasmine
is struggling to open
white holes in the darkness.
Silence is sticking its fangs
into the flesh of the night
which, unable to stir,
turns into a granite relief
of memories
heavily stacked
along the empty streets,
unprocurable merchandize
in a secret flea market.
The city by the sea
like a whale stranded ashore
is exhaling its history,
overflowing with desire
and resignation.
A child is walking
the old streets, years later,
absorbing the night,
sensing the jasmine,
chocking with nostalgia.
Opening his arms wide
to embrace time's enormity
his moon-shadow
is dancing solemnly
a hesitant nine-eighths.
In the empty, heavy streets
the old child becomes the city,
the timeless city
condensed in his eyes,
cutouts from
the silent darkness.



Copyright 2005 by interested13563


rm_FreeLove999 46F
16127 posts
8/27/2005 11:20 am

Eerie!



[blog freelove999]


interested13563 53M
2557 posts
8/28/2005 2:10 pm

FreeLove and AsianLady, thanks for your comments!


papyrina 51F
21133 posts
8/29/2005 4:43 pm

you found Athens to be empty what time did you wlk about


I'm a

and
i'm here to stay


interested13563 53M
2557 posts
8/30/2005 9:34 am

Papy, there are some areas in Athens that are actaully quite
late at night. But the city in the poem is more of a state of
mind rather than bricks and concrete. Thanks for reading!


Priapeo 46M

9/2/2005 7:23 am

LOL at 9/8's! That really got to be hesitant. I would have cut out some pronouns/articles/prepositions to better adhere to the "state of mind" rendering, yet still a good one (oh, I'm sooo prodigal, am I not?)

Never argue with an idiot. He brings you down to his level then beats you with experience


interested13563 53M
2557 posts
9/2/2005 2:33 pm

Priap, I see what you are saying and had thought of that myself.
I just prefered to stick to more precision perhaps sacrifising
some mood. Thanks for reading!


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