Not Creative  

innocentNsexy05 32F
277 posts
12/14/2005 12:45 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Not Creative

Well sorry for the delay in me blogging alot of thinking going well as me not being normal lately. Well my toy party was some what of a sucess I ordered $300 in toys and other items. he he better last me awhile. As I have discovered, going out with my newly single roomie that I don't enjoy the whole scouting out a guy to go home with. About a year or so ago I would have killed to have the opportunity to just pick a guy up at the bar,just to have a one stand. Now its like Oh been there done that!
Im bored with the whole "nice shoes lets go f*ck" attitude. I know within 5 minutes of talking to someone if Im gonna screw their brains out. I know within 5 seconds after looking at them if I want to talk to them.
A few years ago when I was engaged...I thought I met a man that would be love of my life. I also realized after 2 weeks without him I had once had a standard that I once lived up to and had never found anyone to meet it. So, I lowered it for him. Stupid me!! Till him I had never received head...I got it from him ONCE, it was the worst. I thought he was this SEXUAL ANIMAL..Boy was I wrong.. I made it all up in my head to stay with him. Why? Because I had a low self esteem and I didnt believe in myself. I even gave up all my friends for this asshole.
Till him I had never given head.....Hated that experience too. *gag* yes I still gag on that thought. Ugh! I dont like giving head to this day, but I will if I know the man will appreciate it.
So when I got home, I did alot of heart breaking and mending of friendships. I rekindled my friendship with my now roomie, since I screwed her over pretty bad still feel bad to this day! to her!
But then I met a toy somewhere along the line I did meet someone I hadn't expected at all. Someone who taught me the queen wonder of all sex something. That receiving head could be great. Giving wasnt that bad either! I then met someone who was up to Par with my Standards I set before my ex boyfriend. Those standards are this day I have been with many people but none will ever measure up to that. Granted I know I shouldnt compare everyone to one person. But when you know what you want and you FINALLY get it. Dont you think you deserve it once you find it? Did that make sense?
*I know a lovely someone is gonna comment on know I love ya but this is true!!!*

Hell I hope I can meet some one that can hold up to the standards that were met, maybe exceed them. he he but as of this moment I have playmates out there and I love playing. Its just not the same kind of playing I did once upon a time. I miss that and I haven't found anyone that caught my attention, sexually attrative to myself.
Ok Im questioning whether or not Im making sense...So Im going to bed. I thought I would share some of my DEEP thoughts running through my head, hoping to clear some of them out...think I just made more of a mess in there! LMAO!

Night All

drnick20054 28M

12/14/2005 11:44 am

i wonder if im the person

eather692003 45M
1 post
12/14/2005 10:35 pm

You are very hot. would like to see more pic of you

anchcpl4fun 40M/44F

12/21/2005 4:56 am

I'm you KNOW my thoughts.....At least one thing boy toy did....showed you what was possible....and when you find even better, HOLY will you do????? scream from the rafters biatch, then tell me all about it of you babes

Hyge_RI 35M
139 posts
12/23/2005 10:21 pm

I don't know about your standards, since unfortounately I may never meet you, but those are some lucky toys!

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