Perception is reality  

inky1969 47M
10 posts
4/13/2006 4:07 pm

Last Read:
4/13/2006 4:08 pm

Perception is reality


My wife and I tend to be able to communicate, at least until we discuss intimate matters. At this point, it all goes to shit and we both get very defensive. Please do NOT tell me how negative this is. Trust me, I know!

My perception of things right now is that she has gone beyond 'no interest' to actual dislike. I'll try to kiss or cuddle her, only to find she turns away or cringes in apparent disgust. Seeing as how I've got one head, two eyes, two ears etc. I don't think I'm THAT abhorrent. So, in short, it hurts. Bad.

To deal with this, I've distanced myself the first half of this week and not been my usual tactile self. Hard to do, but if it gives her space and allows us to move forward a little at least, worth it.

So imagine my poignant amusement at her obvious discomfort all week at my lack of attention. I broached this with her yesterday evening. While there was no deep and meaningful discourse the fact that she tacitly acknowledged her discomfort is, to me at least, a minor victory in my (our?) battle to regain that missing intimacy.

This is one steep f£$(ing roller coaster, I tell you. I'm up and down like a whores drawers!

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