Life Changes too much to really create a blog!  

ineedabuddie 53F
5 posts
9/6/2005 1:56 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Life Changes too much to really create a blog!

My life is lived by each second of each day. I live with much originality and my life is so paradoxical you wouldn't believe me if I told you.

Just be in the moment is all I can do.. I don't or try not to dwell on the past because I may miss my future... I have made myself very aware of what is important now, right now.. because tomorrow never comes. I just carry love in my heart for all creatures. I'm honest. Maybe too honest. Life is too short to be unhappy and carry hate in your heart.. what more can I say..

Hey, this blog thing is new to me and only a few have shared their thoughts with me. But this is like an open journal, that is way cool.. Hey, this gives me a peaceful easy feeling.. you can't let me down because I'm already standing on the ground. Most of the time.. That little saying comes from one of my favorite songs from the eagles.. This is really a great way to get to know someone's aura/soul/heart/spirit/intentions.. I feel like I'm still in high school but this time I don't have to hide my journal from anyone.. As I have so many journals I could probably group them together and write a book.. Which is not far fetched for me, as I've been really thinking about doing just that.. My mom's best friend has a son who is an author and I used to babysit him.. too funny.. but he's offered to help me I guess you would call it a ghost writer???? I've really just have had some exceptional encounters in my life. My best friend and I knew these crazy funny wild guys from wala wala, Washington and they had this big house. They always let me and my friend go over to swim/crash out whatever we wanted to do. They were and I hope they still are the greatest guys in the world. It was a place to go where what ever happened stayed there.. I'm not talking sexual things.. Hell, one time me and my girlfriend drank too much beer and passed out on their garage floor.. They looked out for us and it was their way of knowing that at least we were safe.. But one night Peg and I were laying next to the pool, yeah we were drinking beer..LOL.. looking up at the stars, which is another love I have.. looking at the sky in the day and the night.. At this point in my life I was just hurting over a broken marriage and it seemed that I would meet people for brief periods of time that were hurting or in need of help in some way.. I was having my own pity party I guess because I felt cheated that my happiness was taken from me and why was it my job to help everyone, when I was the most one in need..LOL.. I looked at Peg and told her I felt like that chick on Touched by an Angel.. I told her why do people come into my life or me into their's only to have them leave?? She looked at me and started laughing so hard.. She then asked me if I really thought I was an angel..LOL.. ok, we were drunk..LOL and young... I told her no, but at that time I couldn't have described my life better then that.. I look back now and I can see why I've met some really incredible and different people... It totally over the years has helped me become one with me.. and that my friends is an awesome feeling.. I have plenty of off days, I am human, not an angel..LOL.. I would say I am blessed in so many ways and I truly am blessed that I've learned I'm not the only one out there that is a little eccentric.. that may be a weak word for my personality... Hey, if you have read this much on my blog you are someone I would love to have as a friend.. Today my mom was telling me that I really need to get into a meaningful relationship... she thinks that it is not normal for a woman who is 42 to be so single and so free spirited.. I told her what the hell is wrong with my life.. I'm lucky.. I told her that being in a relationship just drains the live out of you if you are not with the right person.. they try and change you, they want to know everytime you make a move, fighting and drama is not my gig.. My sisters feel the same.. they believe I should had this structured life and be boring, basically.. I ask you all, is there anything wrong with me to want to live by the seat of pants??? I look for people who have that sparkle in their eyes and a smile that will light up any room.. god, can't a girl just be happy???Enough blogging today... Wonder what I will come up with tomorrow?

rm_mtnravyn 60M
890 posts
9/8/2005 3:42 pm

The answer is no. You sound willing to be responsible for you and your choices. That is all anyone can do. I believe we have many kindred spirits with whom we can interact who will fill our needs for intimacy, companionship, playmates. My porblem has always been that those things came in two or three packages. I also believ my spirit is getting younger becasue I am active in my life and out there taking risks and meeting new poeple and continuing to learn about sex and relationship, and friendship and sometimes all three together. Welcome to blogland Milady

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