Silent yet deadly  

inawip 53M
1 posts
4/4/2006 10:54 am

Last Read:
4/6/2006 10:18 am

Silent yet deadly

Communication is the key to any relationship. No matter the length of the relationship, it is communication that keeps both parties clear on where the other is thinking, heading, or pursuing. Talking things out or just letting the other person know your thoughts can save and nurture the bond between two people. All to often the cause of many failed couplings is lack of communication. People grow as individuals, emotionally, spiritually and mentally. What was great last year may be verboten this year. But sometimes even in the strongest relationships what's not said can be the most dangerous.

I had a girlfriend, who I loved tremendously, that had secretes. And, yes, I prefaced with the word "had" so we are no longer together. We were a great couple. Spending nights cuddled on the couch watching movies or back-to-back-to-back episodes of Law & Order. Just relaxing in each others company. These times we would silently watch the T.V. and sometimes talk about little things. Chit chat with each other; an open forum of where we were with each other and our relationship. Cozy. Ah, but beware, because what is not spoken are so deadly and stabbing that not even all the love in the world can shield. My ex had this habit that at first was cute, but slowly manifested into a monster of gargantuan proportions. Cuddled on the couch, relaxing together under a throw, my woman would fart. Not the trumpeting blasts of Jericho but the silent presence of espionage. She would sneak them in without detection. And its presence would
be reveled like a Delta Force recon team entering with a flashbang and guns blazing. Kinda of comical because she was a petite girl.

One particular evening, dinner but a memory, the glow of the T.V. bathing use into relaxation, we began flirting with each other. Kisses and hugs, nips and blows, arm in arm warming each other to romance. During the commercial I set my master plan into motion. I would attack with deep kisses on her lips and neck, quickly work my way down to the main pleasure headquarters of her body and then steal her away into the bedroom and there engage the enemy in a fierce fight that hopefully would last the night. In the book, The Art of War" it speaks of knowing thy enemy, their weakness and their strengths, and in knowing that victory was assured. The neck. I lifted the blanket covering us and began my assault. The adage the the best battle plans become obsolete within the first ten seconds of battle is correct. I was repelled by a force of ten battalions. I don't know if she sensed my threat or was merely running maneuvers but her preemptive strike decimated my army. With not one word from her, there spooned on the couch, had released her silent force. My nervous system was shutting down and I could proceed no further. She casually looked over her shoulders and said, "I wouldn't go down there if I were you." Then burst into laughter. I slammed the blanket down to stop the smell but was too late. It smelled like a 20-foot stack of burning wigs. My cries of horror were drowned by her laughter. She had won this battle but in the end lost the war.

angelofmercy5 58F
17881 posts
4/4/2006 1:05 pm

This was TOO funny! I would rather have died than fart in front of my husband for years. And I rarely have gas...but when I can be deadly. LOL

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