The Lowest Point in My Life  

imLadyBambi 58M/50F
1308 posts
6/20/2006 3:31 am

Last Read:
6/27/2006 5:12 am

The Lowest Point in My Life


Lady Bambi's Story:

My mother was a call girl. In her quest for money, the good life, and the pursuit of "fun", she divorced my father. Neither parent really wanted me so I stayed with my mother for a while. When I told my mother that her boyfriend was molesting me, she called me a liar and shipped me off to live with my father (later, she married her boyfriend).

My father was simply a cruel, mean, and perverted man, he brutally and sodomized me. His cruelty started when I was 8 years old and ended when I graduated high school. Even when I reported a , he paid off the doctor and punished me when I got home by me again.

When I left home, I did not look back; I hated and despised both of my parents as well as my step-parents. But, as horrendous as the and molestations were, I always blamed my mother for not protecting me. Right or wrong, in my eyes, she was the catalyst for everything bad that had occurred. I loathed that woman.

Fourteen years later, I was notified that my mother was very ill - she had an aneurysm in her brain. Rather than being concerned, I toasted the seriousness of her illness with a shot of Tequila.

Days later, I was told that her surgery was unsuccessful. Her once beautiful face was left disfigured, she was paralyzed on one side, she would have difficulty swallowing, and she was now confined to a wheelchair.

During her 15 months of rehabilitation, I did not call her once. There were no words of encouragement coming from me. Secretly I was happy about the news - the asshole had finally gotten what she deserved. Even better, her looks and body - which were so important to her - were now gone. She had no money, she could no longer work as a call girl, and she had no prospects of marrying a rich man.

Five years later, it occurred to me that I had lost my soul. In my gloating and bitterness, I had become exactly the person that I did not want to be; cold, callous, bitter, angry, full of hatred, spiteful, and blackened on the inside. It was then that I realized that I had reached the lowest point in my life.

Although the and molestation were terrible, they were things that others had done to me. But, by not having the least bit of compassion for my mother (the one who was indirectly responsible versus being directly responsible for the ); I had become almost as sick as my abusers.

It has been a long journey out of the darkness for both my mother and me. We have finally been able to talk about the issues from the past. I can't say that we will ever be on the best of terms but at least we are civil to each other and we care about each other's welfare.

Team Bambi
Lady Bambi&Mr.Bambi


angelofmercy5 59F
17881 posts
6/20/2006 4:52 am

Lady Bambi.....~hugs~ to you. No child should have to live through what you did. I am ever more thankful that the two of you have each other and the love that you share. I know this was hard to write....but thank you for sharing it here.


MWWwantmore 51F

6/20/2006 8:39 am

You sound like a strong woman for what you have been through. It takes a lot to share something like that on here!

*Note the change in my profile name*



I'll have a cafe, mocha, vodka, valium latte to go please!

Good girls go to heaven.....bad girls go down!!


pragmaticCTcpl 61M/50F

6/20/2006 9:36 am

We start out bitter and angry but learn that compassion and forgiveness set us free from our demons. Thank you for sharing such a private story with us all. Hugs and kisses. {=}


free2chose2 66F

6/20/2006 9:56 am

Agreeing with pragmaticCTcpl(who seems "occupied")bitterness leaves an awful taste to your life

Don't worry, be Happy


rm_nicealtitude 106M/106F

6/20/2006 12:49 pm

bless you.


goodatpoetry2 67M
13215 posts
6/20/2006 1:06 pm

What a horrible story. I give you such credit for forgiving her as you did. If not forgiving, then accepting the facts. I'm almost speechless after that. Thanks for sharing such personal feelings. That IS so sad.


rm_KirkVW44m 55M
688 posts
6/20/2006 3:12 pm

Lady,

Thanks for sharing and know that you are NOT alone in our scarred paths in life. Mrs Prag said it beautifully


rm_Ptalk1155 34M
3450 posts
6/20/2006 3:19 pm

*makes the face he makes when he hears about another person who had to grow up under that kind of abuse and wonders if there's still hope left for humanity*


Whispersoftly5 52F
15176 posts
6/20/2006 8:41 pm

You know how I feel about this sort of abuse and I think you're a much better person than I am. I don't forgive such horrors - I don't seem to have it in me to forgive. But I do try to understand them and grow from them. You've gone well beyond that and have my complete respect. It takes a lot of strength in character to do what you have done and I'm glad you did, because you seem to be at peace and happier for it. Hugs to you sweetie - it crushes my heart that you went through that.

Kisses - Whisper...


lightswitch1963 69M/53F

6/20/2006 9:34 pm

I was a teenager when I told my mother what was happening to me, by the "man" she loved, and was called a liar. I can't seem to get passed it the way you have. The guy went on to marry my sister, and molest her daughter....he is now dead. I talk to her in a civil manner because she is my mother. I don't use the word MOM, because that special word is reserved for the mother-in-law I miss so much. You are a much stronger woman than I will ever be........love you that much more for it.............BTW, pic was fantastic, thanks..you ARE a great looking couple.

We'll leave the light on for you.


areutrueatheart 42F
5 posts
6/20/2006 10:54 pm

bambi,I want to thank you for sharing ur story with everyone.For I as well had a similar experience in my life but for me i became a mother at 15teen for the abuse i endured in my childhood.My stepfather I'm am glad to say finally will never see the land unless it though bars or guards .Finally my mother believed me ,but for me a little to late .I learned to forgive ,but i never forgot the trauma I endured in my childhood ,but I can say this it did make me a much stronger woman.I had the baby she was a beautiful baby girl,but she passed away from sids when she was 4 months old . So just hold ur faith and aways stay strong.Like u sound. areutrueatheart


Looking0100 54M

6/20/2006 11:00 pm

Wow! You went through a truly horrendous youth. I can't believe your father treated you that way, such physical abuse. And he got away with it. And your mother didn't seem to care or she didn't believe you.

You turned into a person that you found that you loathed. It is a bit hard for me to believe that a person such as you had ever been so bad. It is nice that you decided to change your ways.

I am glad to see that you are not that same bitter woman who hates her mother. I have seen by your writing that you are very different from that person. Nothing at all like that. You should be given some big hugs for such improvement.

I see you now as a caring, loving woman who has deep compassion for others and a beautiful soul.


rm_rsp54 58F
531 posts
6/21/2006 7:24 am

Lady Bambi,

Your story, makes my abuse as a teenager(by my father) look like a walk in the park. I can feel your pain and understand your plight. I overlooked much for the sake of familial harmony. You have to do what is in your heart. I'm glad you found it.

BTW...My test was normal, so I'm out of the woods. No new tumor. Thanks for your concern. Rose


sexyariesgirl 57F

6/21/2006 8:39 am

I can only say HUGGS to you sweetie.....this is very close to my heart. I admire you for being able to have any sort of relationship with your Mom.....and for finding your way back from the darkness.

Power To FOK


Looking0100 54M

6/21/2006 1:25 pm

How long did it take for you to get past these issues with your mother?
What made you realize that you were going down the wrong path and needed a change?


LustyTaurus 48M  
21253 posts
6/21/2006 10:17 pm

You know my history and how I feel...you did a very good thing sharing these things and congratulations on getting some of your soul back. BIG HUGS


rm_Ellenback 58F
966 posts
6/22/2006 4:43 am

<----shaking head, with tears in her eyes, that people could do this to a child, and worse, that no one listened.

(((softboobyhugs))) to you Lady.

I wish I could just make it all go away for you, including your very real and concrete fury at those around you. Abuse does make us as sick as our abusers, just as addiction can, and I'm so glad you came out of this with your soul not only intact, but full. You're a sensational woman! Thank God for the Mr. in your life hon.

I'm also liking the trend to reveal through the blogs - the good, the bad, and the FUGLY...that's what they're for, not just talking about sexual positions and the like. They should be a place where one can talk, and not be judged other than with a brush of empathy.

Elle


MOfunNOWWOW 55F

6/22/2006 11:36 am

Hugging my sister of the walk and loving the beauty and strength of your survival! Thank you so much for sharing! Love you sis! {=}


MOMO
just a squirrel trying to get a nut


rm_Icewomin 47F
610 posts
6/25/2006 11:44 am

lady bambi...i did not want to read this entire entry. it sucks that that happened to you. my personal belief is that every child is damaged by their childhood...every parent damages their child to some degree. your parents damaged you in many ways.

i was molested by one of my brothers...i still wake up sometimes at about his usual time. i did not tell my mother while it was going on, and so robbed her of the opportunity to help me or damage me further with her response.

your mother had the worst possible response i can imagine. still, i'm glad you are able to forgive her. i would be very interested in hearing your position regarding your father.


MsConservative4U 41F

6/26/2006 9:36 am

Lady B.
imLadyBambi
am so sorry sweetheart for wot happened to you in the past..tons of blessing for you..God bless you always and ya hubs..more power and love for ya two...


Going Where Life Takes ME


Luvwetcunt1000 48M
1258 posts
6/27/2006 1:43 am

WOW! Lady B. Such a powerful post! Thank you for sharing.

I'm so sorry to learn of your awful childhood years. I can imagine how painful it was.

It's amazing how you've turned yourself around like that. You are AMAZING! Chuck is really lucky to have you!

My question: When you think of the past now, does it give you nightmares?


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