a brand new feeling  

ideafilter 37M
45 posts
8/4/2006 3:00 am

Last Read:
9/25/2006 5:05 pm

a brand new feeling

Tonight was an interesting night. After stopping by a new gallery opening at the Museum of Contemporary Art in San Diego, a friend and I went to Wine Steals in Hillcrest. Now, I'm a pretty open-minded guy. I've always appreciated attractive guys, at least on some level. It will happen all the time that I'll see a guy and think: "He has a really nice body," or "he's really good looking." But although I would appreciate that a guy might be attractive, I've never myself been attracted to one. I've always felt that, for this, I must be a 5 on the Kinsey scale.

But something happened tonight in Wine Steals. I started a conversation with the bartender, clearly gay, about wine. It's certainly a rich subject, and one on which I'm almost entirely ignorant. I was eager to learn. He answered all of my questions with grace and an easy eloquence that comes with mastery of your field, but then decided that he and I would taste what seemed like virtualy all the different wines the bar had to offer. Each with a unique introduction and time to savor it. And, somewhere here... in the middle of growing ever more trashed and educated, simultaneously, I became confused. I was profoundly attracted to the sense of knowledge he projected. There was something comforting and safe in his voice.

There, tonight, I began to truly question my sexuality. I love women. I will always love women. But perhaps... just perhaps, I could love men the same way too.

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