|Blogs > i_fuck_dirty > me in tiny nut shells|
i am chronically late. always. i cannot for the life of me ever get anywhere on time. not to an appointment, not to work. not to school. not for something fun. not for money. not to sleep. not to wake up. NEVER ON TIME. i can wake up 3 hours before i have to be some where, have absolutely nothing to do before i have to be there, and yet manage to get there late. the only way i am ever on time anywhere is if the person i am meeting is running later than i am.
i am chronically distracted. sometimes i have the attention span of a ferret. they have zero attention span. any noise or movement in the corner of my eye and all concentration is lost. it can take me 1 hour to read what others can read in half the time. not all the time, but when i am in that state of mind, forget it.
i am chronically anal. my shoes are organized by heel height, color and frequency of use. my closet is organized by color then style. my papers are always squarely stacked and all hole punched papers must line up. you have to click thru atleast 4 folders to get to anything on my computer. my toilet paper always rolls down and has folded corners. furniture (or anything on the floor for that matter) lines up with the grain of the wood or the grout of the tile. nothing i have is on a diagonal. my pillow cases always open to the outside of the bed and the seams are always down. i keep all the boxes for any electronic i buy.
i chronically suffer from insomnia. i sometimes cant fall asleep until after 4 or 5 am. but then i am up by 8 or 9. sometimes i get to sleep earlier. or wake up later. and other times my body says screw you we are sleeping for 10 hours. but on the average night i fall asleep late and only sleep 4 or 5 hours.
i am chronically forgetful. i forget everything i learn if it does not get used within 48 hours of learning it. kinda a pain in the ass, really. i cant remember the majority of names of the people i meet or things we talked about. i forget my own words. i forget what time i am supposed to do things (which might be why i am always late) or that i am supposed to do something at all.
10/2/2005 8:12 pm
congratulations. You are a modern human being.|
First thing first: Sleep well. As soon as you start to relax with the lights out, do this little trick in shutting down your alpha brain waves (that carry the cognitive thought and keep your mind busy): tell yourself that you will count down from 20 and when you reach 0 you will be asleep. Tell yourself that you will wake up at exactly (whatever) time... Start with 20.."I feel my eyes getting heavy...19.."My breathing is slower and deeper"..18.."I feel my body getting heavy with relaxation"...etc., all the way to 0...you will find a wave coming over your body as you approach the end...it usually won't put you completely to sleep, but it allows you to control your thoughts much easier. Keep those random thoughts out. Your mind will become quiet and will be easier to sleep. You will be amazed how accurate your body's internal clock is...don't give up on this.
Second: set aside some time for yourself...and the gym is perfect for that in several ways: it gives you a time to do something for nobody for yourself..it improves your metabolism (if done first thing in the morning and before breakfast)..and allows you to 'plan' your day as you stair-step, or stationary bike, or whatever. You will find that you have more energy throughout the day. Oh..it's also good for the muscle tone..
Third: plan the day and use the clock. If you have a noon appointment, use 'backward planning'..(it's a 20 minute drive, give an extra ten minutes, gotta leave by 11:30, etc..) and stick to it. Do this for the entire day with everything you have planned...that you set up during the morning workout. Don't get caught up in doing detail stuff, which probably is what causes you to run late. Come to a stopping point and GO.
Don't worry about the way you handle things in the house. I do the same things...I find a little of myself when I see the show 'Monk' and have to laugh a little...It shows that you need organization and order..you and I both know it is a thin film covering our lives. We get complimented on the 'tidiness' but know that there is bigger problems underneath. This is our method of controlling our own lives. Remember that control is an illusion. We can only do so much.
I'm bad on names, too...and used to not be. There was a particularly stressful time in the mid 90's that is the dividing line between times I remember names and times I can't. I started doing better after this little exercise. Within minutes of meeting someone, I looked at them directly and repeated their name ten times in my mind. Seemed to help.
The concentration is tougher. Read quickly..don't allow your mind to wander between words. You think much quicker and multitask faster than you think you do...your mind gets bored with slow input and switches to additional input. It simply takes concentration exercises like this to stay on task.
....I hope these help. I do much of what you do and knew that it wasn't helping me in life..these are parts of the steps I took to fix those (really) minor problems.