time - the eternal burden  

hubbyontheloose 60M  
224 posts
3/8/2006 7:56 am

Last Read:
5/1/2006 6:14 am

time - the eternal burden

I am talking about the passing of time when i say the "eternal burden". That inescapable inexorable ticking of the clock we all live with and all have to face up to. One day we get out of bed and look in the mirror and the beard growth is no longer dark. There is white at the temples where brown used to be. The wrinkles on the face are no longer simply character lines but bloody great furrows and the face looks like a rumpled paper bag. Speaking of paper bags you could carry the shopping in the bags under the eyes. The rippling abs now just ripple when you slap your belly and as for the old fellow hanging down below - well enough said on that subject. I still smile at that reflection every morning though and tell myself "hey you ain't that bad old boy". I rather like what I have become. Am staring 50 in the face and you know what? I don't really care. I despaired about becoming 20 and then 30. I was convinced (a childhood premonition) that I would be dead before my 40th birthday - didnt go out the house for a week before the actual day as was worried would get squished by a passing bus or something. I survived the fateful day however. My 40s have been in many ways the best time of my life. People talk about men being in their prime in their 20s or 30s - nah I dont agree. We are far too wrapped up in inconsequential things during those years to understand the important things in life. Between building a career and running around being the nmacho man of the household there was no time to sit down with people and simply listen. Without a brain attached, sexually a person is simply a masturbation device in my view. Basically just an object that is useful to have around sometimes. That is true not just in sex but in many aspects of life. Sadly that is what a lot of younger people, mainly men, turn themselves into without realising it because they have no time to focus on what is truly important in life - your partner, your kids and your friends. I missed my kids growing up because I was too busy building a life for them. The honest truth was I got off on being the "important businessman" running around the world doing the next deal. It was a lot of fun for me and I did well financially from that but at what cost? Was that me in my prime? How very sad if it was.

I honestly believe as well that I reached my sexual peak in my 40s as I had gained some (note I say "some" ) semblance of understanding about the female psyche and physiology and actually cared, something, if I am honest, I never did that much during my 20s lol. Hey I actually know what the G spot is now and roughly where it is located! Mrs and I started "swinging" during our 40s as well so having at least some of that knowledge stood me in good stead lol.

What prompted all this blethering about age? Was browsing blogs earlier and read one which I thought was interesting so looked up the person's profile. All she wanted was someone to talk to online and share some laughs. She is in her late 30s so is no kid. I looked at the "profile match" and it said a perfect match except....age. I started to wonder what possible barrier is there over age in an email based "relationship". The woman lives in the USA, I live in Bahrain so there is virtually and realistically little chance of us meeting so why the age issue? It is not just this one person, is a general thing. I fully understand that if someone seeks a physical relationship then age does matter to many and accept that 100%. I dont have to like it but I do understand and accept it. It is though beyond me to see why on earth age would matter in a conversation.

Am I missing something here? Give me your take on this as I am a tad perplexed on this one.

hey a final thought on age:

what's the best part about senility?

You get to meet 100 new people every single day of the week!

till next time SET

julie4daddy34 45F
599 posts
3/8/2006 10:01 am

Wow hubby..all good points in here..where to start?

1. We all tend to forget that as we grow older so does everyone else. I well got that jolt into reality just yesterday.

2. I've learned thru being online for the past 7 years that it seems most men dont learn to enjoy the simple things in life until well past their 40's. I guess this is why most women tend to like older men. They are past that immaturity stage and understand there is more to a female than just a sex object. I'm not knocking younger guys..there are a few (and i use the term 'few' loosely) that also understand this.

3. Work or Family? This is a struggle we all deal with..you want to be home for your spouse and children..but you have to work to provide. Its a damned if you do and damned if you dont situation. The best you can do is play the hand your dealt and hope that things balance out eventually.

4. Age..I too have an age preference..but in my case it would apply to the fact of actually meeting someone in person. Perhaps this woman you speak of means it in the same way. I can chat with anyone over the age of 18 online..but (an no offence meant to anyone that reads this) I personally cant see myself being involved emotionally or sexually with someone nearly twice my age.

angelgrrl 48F

3/8/2006 12:05 pm

AdultFriendFinder actually sets an age range in cupid settings so she may just not have changed it (for my age they set it from 28 - 47). I personally have an extremely narrow age range deliberately to avoid some of the casual "let's have sex" messages -- it did seem to slow those down.

Getting older is far better than the alternative, of course. Though I'm still in my 30s, I've never dreaded a birthday. I generally have been enjoying what life brings, and each year is a new adventure.

Great post, I really enjoyed reading this

hubbyontheloose 60M  
353 posts
3/8/2006 10:54 pm

thanks julie and Angel for the kind words. Julie I really do accept and understand your comment about "real time" relationships with people a lot older than yourself. Could feel like dating your Dad or an Uncle I guess hahaha. I wasnt trying to knock younger guys (or women) either nor do I think I am somehow now superior given my advanced years. God preserve me from turning into Victor Meldrew! arrrgh Grief if I could turn the clock back and go back to my mid-30s I would do it in a heartbeat - bits of me wouldnt hurt so much in the mornings for a start! lmao Nah on second thoughts I wouldnt. Would have to give up far too much that is good in my life to do so. Have two great kids who have turned out to be wonderful people and a beautiful wife who still turns heads when she walks into a room (yep I still get a kick out of that - men never lose the macho thing hahaha). Hmmm will write something on this later - you two have given me some ideas for my next post.

Angel - that is an interesting point on the age ranges set by AdultFriendFinder - will have something to do with it no doubt. Was surprised though. Are you trying to say that the "hey baby let's f***" messages dont turn you on and make you rush back to the person and send them your phone number? Very difficult to believe and accept that! (hehehe).

I really liked your "each year is a new adventure" comment - share that thought 100%. Great attitude! Here's a thought though - In your 40s will be "each month", in your 50s will be "each week", 60s will be "each day" and 70s onwards will be "woohoo I am still here!" lol

Exotic852 30F

3/12/2006 12:21 am

Since i am still 19 which means = i am fresh and juicy, i can not write about my opinion in here
But hubby, for me, grown up people, are so safe to be with , you know, a person to seek advice from ..etc..

hubbyontheloose 60M  
353 posts
3/12/2006 2:42 am

ah to be 19 again <sigh> Exotic - may be bnearly 50 but several people would question the title "grown up" in relation to me! hahahaa and as for "safe" welllll.... lol You already know I am which is cool - well as safe as people want me to be anyway hahahaha As for "advice" - my advice is always be careful about taking advice from others - their advice is often simply a regurgitation of their own issues and experiences not often applicable to others especially if cross-culture. I am often appalled by the gross stupidity and small minded attitudes displayed by those of "age" who by now should know better but seems that the older they get the more calcified and stupid they become. Am I any different to that? I dont know you judge over time and kick me if you see me being an old "fogey" hahahaha

hotmama415 41F
6 posts
3/25/2006 8:29 am

By now, my dear, you know my views on age. I think I'm in my peak now... of course, I have thought that for the last decade (still nothing wrong with my ego).

I enjoy all ilks of men. Age has never really been an issue. Not when there are so many other issues. Why quibble over a number if you've found a decent human being for friendship...or whatever.

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