BDSM - worth investigating?  

hubbyontheloose 60M  
224 posts
11/17/2005 5:56 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

BDSM - worth investigating?


Is funny every time I discuss this subject with people they get either very defensive or aggressive. Raises sharp emotions in people. I guess after all that is EXACTLY what it is supposed to do so that is cool Most people have experienced light forms of bdsm in some ways. be it either a blindfold, handcuffs or spanking, is all bdsm play. Makes me laugh when people have played that way then they tell me - "oh no would never get involved in bdsm!" A rose by any other name etc.

Let's get one thing straight first, I am neither a sadist nor a masochist. I am just a guy who very much enjoys bdsm games and am damned good at them. I do not live this as a lifestyle as some do. Is part of me but does not touch every aspect of my life nor is it obligatory when I meet and play with people. Why would I want to spank somebody or tie somebody up who would not enjoy that? Where would the fun and shared enjoyment be? Perfect example is Mrs SET, she hates being restrained in any way and loathes anybody trying to spank her or her spanking anybody else. Have had a great sex life together for 28 years so guess my theory works huh? Hmmm wonder if would work so well if I was not allowed to play with others as I wished though? Need to think that one through.

A sadist is someone who simply takes what he/she wants and inflicts harm or hurt on others without any consideration of their wants needs or comfort. Certainly NOT me. I know EXACTLY how far my partner wishes to go and make sure every step of the way they are happy and comfortable (even when uncomfortable if that makes sense lol). That way their needs wants desires etc are being satisfied as well as my own. If my partner is unhappy then so am I as the end result I seek is pleasure for all not just for me. Similarly a masochist couldnt care less what the other person wants simply takes takes and takes with no regard for anyone else. Both are the ultimate forms of selfishness in my mind and are anethma to me.

Those who are in the so called "lifestyle" have a mantra which is always worth knowing, SAFE SANE AND CONCENSUAL. In simple words ALL parties must agree to the limits beforehand and those must be respected. No harm or damage to anybody in any way - physically, emotionally or mentally - should ever be caused, and shouldnt be over the top crazy where people can get hurt. I agree with that mantra and keep it clearly in mind. That way all involved have a wonderful time knowing they are safe at all times.

Have talked before in here of my wonderful arab slave girl "labwa". She accepts that I can do ANYTHING I wish to and with her, is her choice of her own free will. She knows though that she will never be harmed in any way, how could I harm someone I love so much? She adores the freedom of simply giving herself totally to me to do with as I wish, says it frees her from all worries concerns and rather than abusing her it liberates her totally and makes her happy. Not everyone can understand that or accept it, I realise that and dont suggest is for everybody, far from it. It works for her and I though (and Mrs *S*) and at the end of the day that is all that counts.

Have attached a pic to here of a wonderful time I spent with a beautiful american girl when she and her hubby visited us here in bahrain, we both had a marvellous time mmmmm. She was sore for days after we had finished but she loved every second as she knew no matter what she was 100% safe so could relax and simply wallow in sensations she wanted desperately to experience. How cool is that? We both share the memory of the experience and delight in that. She and her husband are still very close friends of ours, sad we cant see them very often these days, distance prevents that, sigh. Before anybody has a "go" at me, she was permitted to do to me EVERY single thing done to her by me, I thoroughly enjoyed that and was sore for days afterwards as well! Sadly she didnt take pics so cant share that in here or I would.

All I am trying to do here is show people is okay to share with your partner the darkest fantasies you may have so long as you dont step over the mark into the realms of unsafe games. Can never understand why people put plastic bags on their heads for example in the pursuit of experience - that is dangerous and is NOT sane behaviour! Tying your partner up and light spanking games or clothes pegs etc mmmmm, now that is MY idea of fun! hehehe (little note - when playing bondage games NEVER leave the room and leave somebody tied up, also always keep a sharp knife to hand to cut ropes or such like if they are unhappy and need or want to be released quickly. Stay safe!)

If a girl or a guy likes to be spanked and their partner would also enjoy isnt that a good thing? If light bondage games turns both on then isnt that also cool? Personally am NOT into so called "water sports" so not a game I play even if my partner enjoys - concensual! If somebody wants to play with plastic bags or needles or knives, forget it, wont be with me! shiver. I do however have a well stocked bag of clothes pegs and other toys to be shared, yum yum yum.

Am sitting typing at my pc at the desk my girl is spread over in the pic, wonderful memories sigh. Hmmmmm wonder when I can clear the desk again next? hehehehhe I am now in the mood to start writing the next episode of "labwa's fantasy" so watch out for that fairly soon.

have fun and be safe all

till next time SET

GangBangCple 66M/55F

11/17/2005 6:35 am

We just have fun with it, avoid the "scene" to many rules and regs ,lol

And we like someone to join us once in a while,

but watch out for the "wannabes" , they are the worst,
some guys , see a BDSM video, and think great , I'm a Dom (pmsl)
sometimes I think BDSM is becoming a fashion , something ppl just have to try out ,
If it doesn't come naturaly - leave it


hubbyontheloose 60M  
353 posts
11/17/2005 7:55 am

seems like we think alike on a LOT of things - cool you are right about the "wannabes" - dangerous people to others. Keep on having fun YOUR way guys and enjoy!


Two4YouinLA 57M/63F

11/17/2005 8:15 am

Until just recently BDSM was just a fantasy of mine. The most I would get to experience would be firm bites on my nipples, or a smack on my behind. I have tried clothes pins on myself for that added sensation during masturbation, but are curious about the *real* thing and am anxious to get them. For years my husband has known my desire for experiencing a bit of pain with my pleasures. In the past he expressed that he couldn't hurt me because he loved me so much. I think through us talking he has come to discover that if done right it would give me pleasure and excite me, and I wouldn't consider it hurting me, but meeting my needs. I enjoy the idea of someone having control. We have a rental on our property that he has started to re-do. He seems really excited about it. I am not allowed to go over until it's complete. There have been hints of a *playroom* where we can go to get out of the norm of our bedroom. I can't wait to see what he is up to over there. I stay away because I am the type of person that doesn't peek at my Christmas gifts. So what he is doing will remain a secret. I think that is more exciting don't you?

I was thrilled to see this blog in here. It is going to be very helpful for him to read. I'm with you about those activities that just seem on the extreme side of all this. I guess to each his own but when it involves risks on life and limb I tend to stay away from that. Never wanted it...never will. I also believe in the trust one must have with their partner/partners. A *safe* word must be discussed prior so confidence is there that things will stop when this word is spoken. This is a new avenue for us and I want it to be a success for both of us. If well thought out it will bring hours and hours of delight for both of us. Something that we will be anxious to continue until we are both well into our *Golden Years*


hubbyontheloose 60M  
353 posts
11/18/2005 10:07 pm

now that play room sounds like LOTS of fun mmmmm! Really does sound as though you guys have got it together perfectly. Open honest and clear with each other about what the other wants and willing to share new ideas to the extent you are both comfortable with - doesnt get any better than that! Wish you both every happiness. Hope you will share the details of this new play room when it is ready and unveiled!


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