To My Dearest Wife  

hotpeppers58 58M
40 posts
8/25/2006 7:06 am

Last Read:
8/27/2006 5:15 am

To My Dearest Wife

To My Dearest Wife,
During the past year, I have attempted to make love to you 365 times. I
have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of only once every 10 days.
The following is a list of why I didn't succeed more often:
We will wake the kids - 54 times
It's too late - 15 times
I'm too tired - 42 times
It's too early - 12 times
It's too hot - 18 times
Pretending to be asleep - 31 times
The neighbors will hear - 9 times
Headache or backache - 26 times
Sunburn - 10 times
Your mother will hear us - 9 times
Not in the mood - 21 times
Watching the late show - 17 times
Too sore - 26 times
New hairdo - 6 times
Wrong time of the month - 14 times
You had to go to the bathroom - 19 times
Of the 36 times that I DID succeed, the result was not always satisfying
because 6 times you just laid there, 8 times you reminded me that there
was a crack in the ceiling, 4 times you told me to hurry up and get it
over with, 7 times I had to wake you up to tell you I was finished, and
once I was afraid that I had hurt you because you started thrashing around
and breathing heavy. Let's try to improve this, shall we??
Love, Your Hubby


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