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A Canadian is walking down the street with
a case of beer under his arm. His friend
Doug stops him and asks, "Hey Bob! Whacha
get the case of beer for?" "I got it for
my wife, eh." answers Bob. "Oh!" exclaims
Doug, "Good trade."
One day an Englishman, an American, and a
Canadian walked into a pub together. They
proceeded to each buy a pint of Labatt Blue.
Just as they were about to enjoy their
beverages, three flies landed in each of
The Englishman pushed his beer away from
him in disgust. The American fished the
offending fly out of his beer and continued
drinking it as if nothing happened. The
Canadian picked the fly out of his drink
and started shaking it over the pint,
yelling, "SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT!"
Fred got home from his Sunday round of golf later than normal and
very tired. "Bad day at the course?" his wife asked.
"Everything was going fine," he said. "Then Harry had a heart attack
and died on the 10th tee."
"Oh, that's awful!"
"You're not kidding. For the whole back nine it was hit the ball,
drag Harry, hit the ball, drag Harry."
Did you hear about little Jimmy? He is four years old.
He was bugging Mother so she said, "Jimmy, why don't you go across
the street and watch the house builders work. Maybe you'll learn something."
Jimmy was gone about 2 hours. When he came home his Mother asked
him what he learned.
Jimmy replied, "Well, first you put the God damn door up, then the
son of a bitch doesn't fit, so you have to take the cock sucker back
down. Then you have to take a cunt hair off each side and put the
Mother fucker back up."
Jimmy's Mother said, "you wait til your Dad comes home." When
Jimmy's dad got home, mom told him to ask Jimmy what he learned across
the street. Jimmy told his dad the whole story. Dad said, "Jimmy, you
go outside and get the switch."
Jimmy replied, "Fuck you, that's the Electrician's job."
8/29/2006 3:52 am
You make me laugh!|