silly shit  

hotcold33 50M
752 posts
8/26/2006 3:24 am
silly shit


> B
> > >EVER WONDER...
> > >
> > >..why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
> > >
> > >..why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
> > >
> > >....why you don't ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
> > >
> > >....why "abbreviated" is such a long word?
> > >
> > >..why doctors call what they do "practice"?
> > >
> > >..why you have to click on "Start" to stop Windows 98?
> > >
> > >..why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor, while dishwashing
> >liquid is
> >made with real lemons?
> > >
> > >....why the man who invests all your money is called a broker?
> > >
> > >..why there isn't mouse-flavored cat food?
> > >
> > >....who tastes dog food when it has a "new & improved" flavor?
> > >
> > >....why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes?
> > >
> > >..why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
> > >
> > >....why they don't make the whole plane out of the material used
> > >for
> the
> >indestructible black box ?
> > >
> > >....why sheep don't shrink when it rains?
> > >
> > >....why they are called apartments when they are all stuck
together?
> > >
> > >..if con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of
progress?
> > >
> > >....why they call the airport "the terminal" if flying is so safe?
> > >
> > >In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed
> > >because of
> >stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
> > >
> > >On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (and that's the
> > >only
> >time I
> >have to work on my hair).
> > >
> > >On a bag of Fritos: ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.

> >details
> >inside. (the shoplifter special)?
> > >
> > >On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and
> > >that
> >would
> >be how???....)
> > >
> > >On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
> > >(but,
> it's
> >"just" a suggestion).
> > >
> > >On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn
> > >upside
> >down."(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
> > >
> > >On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:"Product will be hot after
heating"
> >(...and
> >you thought????...)
> > >
> > >On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."
> > >(but
> >wouldn't
> >this save me more time?)
> > >
> > >On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a car or operate
> >machinery
> >after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate
> >of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with

> >head-colds off those forklifts.)
> > >
> > >On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness" (and...I'm
> > >taking
> >this
> >because???.....)
> > >
> > >On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use
only."
> (as
> >opposed to...what?)
> > >
> > >On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use."
> > >(now,
> >somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
> > >
> > >On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news
> >flash)
> > >
> > >On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet,

> > >eat
> >nuts."( Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
> > >
> > >On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not
> > >enable
>
> >you
> >to fly."
> > >
> > >I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one:
> > >
> > >On a Swedish chainsaw:"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands

> > >or
> >genitals."
> > >(...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the
> >stupidity
> >and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a
> >chuckle)...in other words send it to everyone. We all need to smile
> >every
>
> >once
> >in a while
> > >

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