My Mother taught me.........  

hot2trot696969 51M/52F
602 posts
6/12/2006 8:50 am

Last Read:
10/23/2006 9:57 pm

My Mother taught me.........


"If you're going to kill each other,

do it outside. I just finished cleaning!"

My Mom taught me about INDIVIDUALISM.

"I bet if all your friends jumped off a bridge, you would too!

My Mom taught me RELIGION.

"You better pray that stain will come out of the carpet."

My Mom taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.

"Stop acting like your father!"

My Mom taught me about TIME TRAVEL.

"If you don't straighten up, I'm
going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

My Mom taught me LOGIC.

"Because I said so, that's why."

My Mom taught me FORESIGHT.

"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in
case you're in an accident."

My Mom taught me about HYPOCRISY.

"If I've told you once, I've told
you a million times - Don't exaggerate!!!"

My Mom taught me IRONY.

"Keep crying and I'll *give* you something
to cry about!"

My Mom taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE.

"I brought you into this world,
and I can take you out."

My Mom taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.

"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"

My Mom taught me about CONTORTIONISM.

"Will you *look* at the dirt on the back of your neck!"

My Mom taught me about ENVY.

"There are millions of less fortunate
children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"

My Mom taught me about STAMINA.

"You'll sit there until all that spinach is finished."

My Mom taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS.

"If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you;

would you listen then?"

My Mom taught me about WEATHER.

"It looks like a tornado swept
through your room!"

rm_KnowStuff 56M
240 posts
6/12/2006 11:39 pm

I think these are all required teachings from mom. But be careful with them... you don't wanna put someone's eye out with 'em.

rm_bushice 72M
208 posts
6/14/2006 10:07 am

And Yet We Survived!! We also got Directions from Dad's too!

hot2trot696969 51M/52F
314 posts
6/14/2006 11:08 am

Mother always said that Dad woke the boys up in the middle of the night and told them how to do certain things that were beyond the females ability

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