the serious one.  

horatio1815 46M/35F
155 posts
2/18/2006 4:54 pm

Last Read:
9/19/2006 6:53 pm

the serious one.

i am gonna type this, leave it onm for a few days [as long as i can stand it] and then probably delete it as i wont be able to keep looking at it. alot of people wonder about the reasons why i am so violently protective over myself [see earlier blogs] so befiore i chicken out, heres a little insight......

first time i was i was 4 years old. this continued until i was 13.

i have been gang .

i have been beaten with metal bars.

i have been burnt with cigarettes.

i have had two stalkers,

stalker one stabbed me just underneath my breast with a kitchen knife when i was 15 [walking to school]

stalker 2 tried to me and stabbed me with a hypo needle [ i fractured his cheek and he is in prison. i had the tests and thank god the needle was disease free so so am i.

stalker 2 was also later convicted [upon my evidence] of cutting a 22 year old womans breasts off infront of her 3 yr old daughter.

i have been knocked unconcious by an exe, to later wake up naked and bleeding in someone elses garden. still dont know what happened.

theres more but i would have to be detailed and i dont fancy that, so there you go, some of the reasons for my philosophy, my percieved arrogance, and my violent attitude towards bullies. thanks.xx

elysianpleasure 47M

2/18/2006 6:45 pm

I really don't know what to say reading this... but feel I should say something to let you know I care. My heart goes out to you. I have known others in these situations and I always feel helpless because what can you do to tell someone who has gone through this that it is alright, that it will be alright. Anything I can say seems so small. The world doesn't have to be like this... there is good and kindness in it. I am ashamed... so ashamed that these can, in fact do, happen to anyone.

horatio1815 46M/35F

2/18/2006 6:57 pm

you have no resaon to be ashamed my love, i have grown and adjusted [amazing as that may be] i am strong, intelligent and philosophical,the little things dont matter to me because i have seen the torment of the big things, this is actually a blessing.i know how to love in the right way, and i know when i am being loved in the right way. i didnt post this for sympathy beleive me, more of just a mini explanation as to why my blog maybe doesnt contain more of the funny stuff i have seen in others. keep coming back elysian, i like you. i will follow ure blog.


beewulf9 38M

2/18/2006 8:05 pm

I hope that you see less gruesome things for the rest of your life. And thank you for being so bold in sharing. I think you have earned the right to be any way you choose.

Deepthroat215 52M
328 posts
2/18/2006 9:47 pm

I wish I could transport myslef back and kick thecrap out of every one...I mean to DEATH...that sucks...can't tell you how pissed I am at the...not you, not you at all how Iwish I could portect yo, keep you from harm.

I have a 5 year old daughter..I'd kill,,,I mean dismember, someone who touched her...I feel SOOOOOO bad for you...

rm_bigchoklatdk 45M

2/19/2006 12:02 am

May God richly bless you and RESTORE all that has been taken from you 1000x

rm_bigchoklatdk 45M

2/19/2006 12:06 am

It happened again....sorry~~Heads are gonna roll for that!

horatio1815 46M/35F

2/19/2006 1:17 am

beewulf, i have seen alot less gruesome things thankyou, and i look at them every day as if seeing them for the first time. thanks.

horatio1815 46M/35F

2/19/2006 1:18 am

deepthroat baby, dont be angry, love your baby, and enjoy her. i am strong, you know that bless you.xx

horatio1815 46M/35F

2/19/2006 1:20 am

bigchoklatdk, i am blessed, so blessed. i have knowledge, i have strength, i have love. but no one not even god can restore it. holla back.xxxx

eriedragon4 57M
1076 posts
2/19/2006 3:26 am

Offer up your promises
Offer up your soul
Offer up salvation
But don’t offer up control.

stay strong!

your loyal, Dragon

rm_PurryKitty2 48M/49F
9753 posts
2/19/2006 5:23 am

I hope the blogging is helping and that the future paints a brighter path sweetie

Purry {=}


horatio1815 46M/35F

2/19/2006 11:56 am

eriedragon4, fantastic advice, ....that i have been living by eversince i got out of that , and think i always will. thanks.xx

horatio1815 46M/35F

2/19/2006 11:58 am

purry sweetheart. the future looks like heaven right now.... these things were sent to destroyme, but as my mummy and hers before her always say....

it came to pass, never it came to stay...

horatio1815 46M/35F

2/19/2006 12:01 pm

heavenly, dont feel humbled honey, thats not why i posted this, we have all had our hard times, none can compare because we all deal with thigns differently, depending on our capacity to cope with adversity. but thanks for your kind words, i am humbled at receiving them. one thing you can do for me though, use your kind feelings to help smeone who is alone. the biggest gift, at the smallest price i think...

horatio1815 46M/35F

2/19/2006 12:03 pm

longhairednikki, thanks.... nothing else to say lol

horatio1815 46M/35F

2/19/2006 2:12 pm

biggest treasure we can give is unselfish kindeness, to some one who least expects it. take care hunxxx

GoddessOfTheDawn 105F
11238 posts
5/2/2006 9:37 am

The above comments cover it all. I'm with longhairednikki. You're incredibly strong, and your post and comments speak volumes about the awesome person you have become

you've made yourself a bright future, hatz off....

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