Getting laid 101, No girls allowed  

honestjohn4u 57M
1175 posts
4/22/2006 2:00 pm

Last Read:
10/25/2006 4:38 pm

Getting laid 101, No girls allowed

Hey guys just you guys, I got something I want to tell you. You see these chicks parading around town, strutting their fine selves all around, well jack they just don't know what its like to be outta dough.
Well you wake up in the morning cause you just can't sleep, ain't got enough money to buy something to eat. So it's off to work in a morning haze hope'n the boss might give you a raise. You get to your desk and look in the box, there's a little pink slip that says you've been laid off. So it's down to the bar to drink away your troubles, with your last $5.00 bucks you order a double. Pretty soon you start feeling better when in walks a chick in a hot pink sweater. You eye her up and down and offer her a smoke, man this ain't no time to be so damn broke.
Mitch Woods
Well in case you haven't notice spring is here and there is love/sex (depending upon your gender) in the air. Now lets face it things have been so cold that I couldn't feel very sexy. It just permeates the walls and makes my nuts wanta shrivel. But now with warm weather right around the corner, and its time to get all sweaty, right?
Just got through mowing the lawn and watering for the first time this season, and things are begining to look purdy. Have you ever noticed from looking at the pictures that the girls with a flower in the picture always are more memorable. Even if it is only a G rated shot of an ankle or wrist. Well if it works on you, and you don't even care about flowers imagine how the chicks groove on it. I see a lot of yard work in my future. Hey you in the back! Pay attention, do you wanna get laid or not?
While I'm on the subject of pictures, save the crotch shot for last, like its an accident that just slipped in there, don't use it as your face. Now what ever you do don't use John Holmes, their wise to that and know him to intimately. Pick one of the more obscure performers who comes in under 8 inches. Anything more than that and you bottom out, and it hurts. (her not you) Thicker is better, but whatever you do make sure the skin tone matches, if you're sheet white don't use a someone with a darker complexion.
I hope you all have learned from todays pointers, ladies class is dismissed.

I Swami Johnny see's all, knows all, tells very little.

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