What Should I Do??  

honestandreal30 41F
211 posts
2/11/2006 11:28 am

Last Read:
3/23/2006 2:20 pm

What Should I Do??

A few weeks ago I had an experience on here that has left my heart in shreds and my mind questioning everything about myself. I had been chatting with a female for several weeks. We had shared so intimate conversations and appeared both of our hearts were wide open. Then one night she tells me she has a secret. The secret being, she is not REALLY a she, but is a male. HE said that he was a writer working on book and had been having trouble with one of the characters in the book. So HE decided to creat a profile on here as a woman, which was fake. He apologized and apologized for leeting things go so far before telling me.

Now I am so confused. I created a profile on here because I tought it may be the one way for me to fulfill my hidden desire to be with a woman and I would be able to be as discreet as I needed to. Though I no longer talk to this person, it has left me afraid to chat with anyone, muchless think about meeting someone.

So what should I do? Do I leave my profile here and hope for the best or do I delete my profile and be done with it all together? I have went 30 yrs with sex only 3 times...I am sure I can continue on that path even though my heart yerns for the touch, feel, comfort, love and sex of woman.

Anyone have any suggestions?


FunandFrisky79 41M/37F

2/11/2006 11:58 am

Wow, I'm so sorry you were deceived! You are very smart to sever all contact with that person. Nobody likes a liar! But, I want to reassure you that there are some really genuine people here!

I've been a member of AdultFriendFinder since May 2005 and I've come to know some really wonderful people! I even went to the Blogger's Convention in Chicago last October and got to meet some of those people in person. It was so nice to finally be able to put faces to the blogs I'd been reading.

My point is, don't lose all hope in people just because you were fooled before. Not everone is like that creep who mislead you. I know it's hard to trust again once you've been hurt, but I assure you that there are some great people in Blogville. You just have to find them! So, keep your head up, girl!!!

Btw, welcome to Blogville, sweetie! I hope to see you around more often!
Kisses & Hugs,


sassybelle21 32F
13313 posts
2/11/2006 12:21 pm

Don't let that get to you. But if you are afraid to chat or meet anybody from here, you can still keep your account while turning off your profile. That way you can sit back and enjoy blogging. You'll make more friends through blog There are a lot of nice bloggers too.

fantasylover_05 62M

2/11/2006 12:27 pm

Dearest Honest

You do seem like a very sweet woman..... I am not what you seek.. but simply would hate to see you give up....


Nothing comes to those who simply sit and wait.... go after what you want!! Be bold... be brave... be YOURSELF!!

I am truly sorry someone played games with your and your heart....

You MUST live life!!

I BEG you not to give up!

I lived a life paying attention to everyone BUT me for over 30 years... and I am FINALLY finding myself and paying attention to me for a change!!

Actually the blogs here are a good place to start.... you can get a better sense of people in watching and reading their writtings... it is more difficult (not impossible obviously) to keep up a roose for a long period of time and so you will get a sense of people...

So I hope you do this Honest....


rm_PurryKitty2 48M/50F
9753 posts
2/11/2006 12:45 pm

Dont let one bad apple upset the entire cart. Keep your profile and move on. We had a similiar situation where we cared very mich about someone and they made us cry by faking their death but time heals us.

Purry {=}


honestandreal30 41F

2/11/2006 4:38 pm

firsky...sassy..fantasy... thank you for your words of encourgament. It is just so hard to think positive when you have been so badly deceived. I did however change my screen name (honestandreal30 is a new one for me) and I did change some of what my profile said.

purrykitty... sry to hear someone done something just as horrible to you...thanks again

Babel__Fish 45F

2/21/2006 2:27 am


The only way to really know if it is REALLY a women behind a profile is through a webcam session, that is why I have a video intro on my profile and I clearly show my face in it. I also have members here that have met me in person and are very close friends of mine that are willing to send a mail to another member if need be to validate that I am who I claim to be.

Another clue is if the 'female' member only sends you photos that are in one series meaning that the person is wearing the same clothing, props are the same and the background is the same. Ask for a 'normal' photo, you know an everyday sort of pic, if they can not produce that then I write them off.

Hang in there sweetie and try not to let the fake ones get you down.


honestandreal30 41F

2/21/2006 8:24 pm

babel...thnaks for the advice...i am still here...lol

as for the picture thing... the person did show me all different oics as you say...thats one reason it made it so hard..

still fighting throough though....thanks for stopping bye


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