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I love my mother...but it's exasperating at times.
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May 21, 2009 3:50 pm
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So, I finally got Mom to agree to let me get rid of her living room furniture and move mine up from the basement. It needed to be replaced a while ago but when it was just her living here it wasn't that big a deal. Well, after moving a family in here and the furniture getting used on a regular basis it got even more wore down. So, my friend Ken was moving into his own place and I said he could have moms set if he moved mine up from the basement. No problem. A little over a month ago we did it...we switched. I come home from work today and she asked me (out of the blue) what I did with her furniture set. I told her she said we could give it away. She didn't remember that and got mad. I'm sure she was more mad that she couldn't remember. She knows that I would never get rid of it without her saying it was ok. I asked her what did she expect to do with it? It was bad. I just let it go. There's no use trying to make her remember. It doesn't work. I know it's the lack of oxygen that is affecting her memory. It's a little sad though.
The past couple of weeks I tried going back to my full time hours at work. Why I thought it would be ok I'm not sure. I need to tell my manager to put me back down to 15-20 hours a week. I can leave her food to eat for lunch, her vitamins/supplements and all that she may need throughout the day but she doesn't remember to take them, doesn't eat....etc, etc....makes me wonder how long before I have to go down to almost no hours. It's scary.
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Why can't we all just get along?
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May 18, 2009 3:30 am
339 Views
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I don't understand why people on this site from this area can't be civil to each other in a group....unless there is bad blood between people to begin with. I don't understand why someone who doesn't know another person has to "attack" them because of a comment that was made. A comment that wasn't directed at any specific person, just an observation. Get to know the people. It's hard not to get caught up in it (I should know!!) especially when you feel something is directed at you. But be "adult" about it and email the person that offended you or you think directed something at you. Why bring it into the damn groups? Like I said, if there is already bad feelings between you and another poster, shit will get started. I do my best to walk away from it now. I think it needs to stay out of the groups though. You go into other groups from different areas and you don't really see the BS...why are they so different? It could very well be that no one has ever met in person, it could be that no one has ever struck a nerve with another person, who knows....but I have never seen so much drama and BS as I have in our groups here. For the most part it all stopped when 2 main members left the site. It was nice for quite some time until someone else that has a problem with a couple of us opened up with shitty comments for no good reason other then to start trouble. Well, now she is quiet for the most part. I know we all have a problem with someone or a few someones, but let it go during the group conversations. Trust me, if I can do it anyone can! I had a huge problem with a female in this one group....but you'd never know it by reading the posts in the group. Why bring it in there? Why bring it in there....it only shows others how ignorant we can be (and yes, I'm including myself in there). I don't want others thinking I'm no fun or a bitch just because of the BS they see between me and another person, I want people to get to know me first...then decide for themselves. I don't want to be judged by someone that has never met me, judge me when you meet me and get to know me a little. I choose to ignore anyone that tries to "attack" me or start shit with me now...it's kinda easy. Just ignore the remarks and if you can't then email the person that made them. Leave it out of the groups.
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Who would have thought.....
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May 11, 2009 5:58 pm
332 Views
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So, on Mother's Day I worked in my mom's front gardens...since she can't. She won't really even see it except for the pictures I show her. It just takes so much out of her to move around a lot so she sticks to her room and the bathroom. Anyways, I must have been out there for about 2 hours. Raking out all the old, dead leaves, the old bark that was laid out a couple of years ago to (haha) keep the weeds from growing. I'm starting to think that nothing stops that from happening! I never would have thought I'd be so sore today!! My legs feel like I ran 10 miles or something! So, sore. Working today didn't help. Yes, I DO work, I am not "living off my sick mother" as one bitch put it. Today, being the day after Mother's Day, meant taking down 24 feet of cards...all for Mother's Day. Then I had to put up Father's Day...move graduation and then put up a lot of other cards and more gift bags....I thought I'd be out by noon today (I was there by 7 am) but I didn't get out until 3....so all day on my feet after yesterday...I am one hurting person!
I feel pretty good for what I did get done in the garden yesterday.
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Jealousy??
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May 10, 2009 7:36 am
344 Views
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I was just in a group and read again where one poster said I was jealous because she can afford to buy updated clothes. I had to laugh. She keeps repeating herself when she says I dress like I am still in the 80's. Well, I didn't realize that jeans and t-shirts were only popular in the 80's. Jeans and t-shirts? Come on now! I prefer to wear what I am comfortable in and that just happens to be my trusted old blue jeans! Not to mention one of my many t-shirts. Mosty concert T's but that's fine with me. I don't give a rats ass if someone doesn't like the way I dress...I don't wear things to please others or impress others (she can't impress anyone with the way she dresses by the way), I wear what I am comfortable in. There are days that I will wear a skirt with a nice shirt...a shirt that was bought within the last year (so it is definitely not and 80's shirt). I have about 4 or 5 suits hanging in my closet as well. Very stylish and definitely not from the 80's. I do go places that require proper attire and I have that attire.
So, accuse me all you want of being jealous. There isn't one thing that others have that I am jealous of. I am thankful for all that I do have, my friends, family...the things that count! To say a person is jealous of another persons clothing is totally ridiculous! Especially when that someone is a lot bigger then myself. At least I can shop at regular stores (although I do have to get my bras at the big girls store...damn huge things!! lol).
To say I'm jealous is funny. I have everything I could want right now in my life, I am not lacking for anything at all. Great guy, loving family, job, car, money, friends (especially friends!), great sex life (at least I don't get bored with my man and have to look elsewhere to get it). My life is just peachy!
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Gotta love it
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May 9, 2009 2:06 pm
407 Views
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So, I found out that my ex-asshole is about to get some news he isn't going to like! I emailed his roomie (well, ex roomie) to ask for the address cause I needed the address for divorce papers. Turns out he moved out of there in February and still owes the guy $500. He did leave an amp there....I told him to keep it because he will never see the money. He had moved in with this "fat bitch" (his words not mine) and then knocked her up!! Now, this is a guy that doesn't even see the 2 kids he already has. He should not be a dad....he puts his wants and needs before those of his children. The girl ended up terminating the pregnancy and kicking him out...so now he is back in Jamestown and his life is going to end up being the way it was before he moved here.....going no where! I shouldn't be so happy to hear this but I am! He's such an ignorant jerk and clueless to boot!
Hearing all this has made me realize just how lucky I am to have a guy like Marc!
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How do you know
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May 2, 2009 7:22 pm
362 Views
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Wow, it's almost 3 months for Marc and I...couple more days! It seems to have flown by. I still find myself smiling when I hear his voice or I catch myself with a case of butterflies when I see him sometimes....just catches me off guard. I am very happy with him and the way things are going. Lately though I have found myself wanting to say those 3 words when I leave him. Whether it's when I'm leaving after visiting him at work or going home after spending time with him. I don't even think of it...it's just there.
That scares me a little bit. Partially because, to me, it seems to soon. How do you know when it's right? The right time to say it. It surprises me that those words are there. It doesn't feel the way it did with any others. I know all relationships are different, that you may feel things differently in each one, but love? Again, how do you know if what you're feeling is really love or just a deep like! I don't want to say it if I'm not sure obviously. I thought what I had with my ex husband was love...and at first it really was. I was happy with him. Obviously things changed there. I firmly believe there's a reason for everything and I think what I went through with him prepared me for a real relationship. Made me aware of what I really was looking for. I have found a lot of what I'm looking for in Marc. Everything has clicked and is going wonderfully! Those feelings though....how do I know if it's love? Do you ever really know?
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Isn't it funny
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Apr 28, 2009 3:06 pm
441 Views
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Ever since the real trouble maker(s) deleted their account on this site in February after all the BS went down there have been NO problems what so ever amongst any of the group members. Wait, let me correct that. Someone tried to get it going again. It's been nice and quiet in the group since the drama queen/king have left but yet someone who rarely posts just had to try and get it going again. That person was banned.
The funny thing is today it was brought to my attention that someone had come into the group and posted some negative things. I'm pretty sure the person(s) involved still check out my blog and if they don't that's fabulous because I really don't give a fuck if they do or not. Facts:
1- Willow and her "husband" only attended one get together where nothing happened drama wise, so that comment about the 2 of them being the trouble makers is total BS.
2- The real problem maker was/is the one who felt it necessary to report everyone's actions to everyone else even though it was no one elses business what goes on amongst group members. This person has since left Adult FriendFinder altogether and things have been blessedly nice! Yes, the group has slowed down a bit but I think it's for the better. There's no drama to fuel it.
3- All the men on here are assholes (or something to that effect). This isn't true. If it is then this particular poster that made up a name (justclearingair) just to post needs to get off the site. I've met losers on here and I've met great guys on here. Some I am even friends with....regular friends that is. If a man isn't interested in you there must be a reason but it doesn't give you the right to call them names.
4- "hellofa is the biggest trouble maker of them all". Interesting since I haven't started any of the problems and since the get together in February there have been NO problems whatsoever (until you, and you know who I mean, tried to get shit started again). Now, if I were the trouble maker you say I am there would still be problems going on all the time.
5- Until you can back up what you say...undeniable proof...watch what the hell you say and who you point fingers at because you are not a perfect person either. No one is....but some just have unknown problems with themselves and try to make others miserable or try to make problems for others just to make themselves feel better. That is pathetic.
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Ups, downs and in betweens
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Apr 26, 2009 8:43 pm
405 Views
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Wow...been a week and there really wasn't much going on to blog about. I've felt the need to blog but just couldn't get the thoughts into words. Kind of hard to explain.
The ups---- I saw Marc today. Seems like it's been forever but it was really only since Thursday. He goes back to NY every Thursday, drives back here for work on Friday and then back to NY again to spend the weekend with his kids. Not sure who it's harder on. It isn't really hard but I do miss him while he is gone. It seems like the weekends he is gone are the weekends that there is something going on and my friends don't get that chance to meet him. One even asked if he existed...lol, I've been waiting for that to come up. Luckily a couple of friends have met him and can vouch for me that he does in fact exist!
I went to the Erie Cemetery yesterday since it was so beautiful and gorgeous outside! Got some great pictures of some really cool headstones and monuments. Have you ever noticed the beauty in these places? There's nature's beauty of course but have you ever looked at some of the older stones and monuments? The money they must have cost...but then again, this is the cemetery that has a lot of Erie's first residents in it!!
The tree we bought in memory of my sister bloomed yesterday! It's a Chinese Cherry Blossom and it's so pretty! I can't wait until it's a bigger tree!
The downs-----A close friend of mine, his nephew was killed last night. The reason...he yelled at a guy driving down a residential road to fast. The guy got out of the car and shot him in the stomach with a shotgun. He left behind a fiance and 2 little boys. I believe I know the jerk who did it as well. If it's the same guy it doesn't surprise me that he did this. It seems like there is a lot of death around me lately and that scares me a bit because of mom. The neighbor died a little over a week ago, my daughter's friends grandfather passed away on Friday, my friends mother (the one who just lost his newphew due to this incident) just lost his mother not even a year ago.
Mom worries me. She won't quit smoking and I know people say why bother now...but dammit it would help her a little bit. They increased the morphine that is in her nebulizer. The other day when I left for work I had to look a few different times to see if she was even breathing. I do that every morning before I leave for work. Obviously she was but I was getting scared at first.
My Tupper where (can't spell it the correct way otherwise I get in trouble) business isn't going to great at the moment. I really need people to have some parties (home or book would be great!) and right now I could really use it since I've cut back my hours at my regular job to be home more with mom.
My car is acting up again....I think it's time that I look for something else. Makes me sad in a way...this was my first Chevy!
The in betweens-----I actually decided not to continue with this part. It would only stir shit up if a certain someone read it. LOL.....so, have a nice night.
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Wow was yesterday ever incredible
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Apr 20, 2009 7:39 pm
450 Views
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What a day!
The day was supposed to be overcast and rainy....no fun. Marc and I had planned on going to the Allegheny National Forest for a few now and it looked like maybe the weather was going to be mean to us! We went to Falconer last night and stayed there...went to dinner at Pal Joeys (really good food there and the bartender/server was AWESOME). We went back to the hotel room...probably around 10 pm...and started watching tv....didn't take long before we were both sleeping. That's so sad...a whole night and we slept it away! Worth it though...the bed was sooo comfy (better then me sleeping on the couch though). We got up this morning and went to breakfast then left Jamestown and headed to Warren.
We talked about my (ex)step-son. I miss the little guy and I feel so bad for him because his dad pretty much did what he said he wouldn't and dropped out of his life again. I wish I knew where the lived in Warren now or had a number cause I would have called.
We stopped at the Kinzua Dam and wow....that's all I can say. I have never been there before. It is amazing. The pics turned out good as well. We went to Jakes Rocks and I was surprised at how disrespectful people are of this wonderful place! There was garbage everywhere....bottles of water, soda, half a cig carton. I mean come on? Can't they take it back to their car and throw it away later? Why do that to a beautiful place and ruin it for others? It would help if the state had garbage cans around here and there but still....it was very sad. After we left there we went to Rimrock Outlook....the place that was highly suggested to us. It was amazing. I took over 100 pics today and I got some of Marc as well. The day in general was great. The weather there was incredible....sunny and 70 degrees! Spending the day with Marc was nice. This was the 2nd time we have had a chance to spend a significant amount of time together out and about. The first was a few weeks ago and we did nothing but drive around western New York and fish and drive and talk.
The one thing I love about us is that we can talk...we communicate. I can be honest with him no matter what and know that he isn't going to throw a temper tantrum. We are able to work through it. He is a very caring man, good father, nice family man, values, stable....so not what I'm use to! It's so nice though. I am amazingly happy with him!
Things in the bedroom are pretty amazing as well and never gets boring. People who have to look outside the bedroom with their regular partner because "boredom" sets in....they definitely aren't doing something right for each other! With both of us being open minded there's quite a variety there! What makes it even better is there is more to us as a couple then just sex. He is definitely a keeper and, again, I am amazingly happy with him.
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Confused
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Apr 16, 2009 2:45 pm
467 Views
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When you are in a relationship with someone, as in BF/GF, does that technically mean you are still single? Obviously you aren't married...marriage means not single. The reason I ask is something was said while discussing a trip to Hawaii. Marc was talking to a co-worker and said this would be his first vacation without the kids and he is single. He said this to me, telling me about the conversation he was having with the co-worker. After he was done talking I said "you aren't single". Doesn't making someone your boyfriend/girlfriend mean you are no longer single? I am a little confused. He did call me his girlfriend, he did say he has no interest in seeing anyone else and that he likes what we have. Until last night that made me feel very good. These past 2 and a half months have been great. Like nothing I have ever experienced in a relationship. I'm not looking way into the future, we are talking about our fears, our pasts, everything. Then he said that.
I did write him a letter (and I only did it that way because he is working today and then heading straight to his parents and I wasn't going to be seeing him) today. It wasn't an accusing letter or anything bad or pushy. Just a general letter with questions. I wasn't pushy either. So, now I am questioning what we are. I'm happy with not being exclusive, it's only been 2 months. I am kinda feeling though as if I'm just there until someone/something better comes along.
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Another holiday
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Apr 12, 2009 12:56 pm
442 Views
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Happy Easter. Why is it that some companies don't recognize Easter for a paid holiday anymore? It's still a holiday right? Thought so.
It's been 10 months since my sister passed away. Seems like it hasn't been almost a year. It feels like it was just last month to me. The days are easier....Sundays are the hard days. Sometimes I still expect her to come walking through the door after teaching Sunday school at St.Lukes. She would come here afterwards and wait to take Mom to church. I miss her a lot. Especially on these nice days!
Things are going great with Marc and I. We are now officially a couple! LOL....I guess you could say we have been since the day we went out. Neither one of us saw anyone else but we have been taking things slow...making sure. Going slow is nice. I met his parents the other day, unexpectedly! They are very nice and I see where he gets all his manners!
I have a cold again dammit.
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what a great day
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Apr 5, 2009 6:30 pm
462 Views
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I so needed this day! Marc and I went on a little driving adventure today. We drove all over the back roads of Western NY. We went to a couple of lakes and just enjoyed the great weather, the day was mild and beautiful! Hard to believe that tonight and into Tuesday we are under a winter storm watch....unfuckingbelievable! I just felt so free today, like nothing was wrong with the world! All was good.
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Why am I not surprised
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Apr 2, 2009 5:57 am
503 Views
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I don't know why I expected anything less when I decided to try and get people to help those who lost everything in the Granada Apartment fires. I posted the blog here (even on my old account) and on my 2 myspace accounts. I have heard that it has been reposted on other blog sites, which is nice. What I don't get is that I have had only 2 people donate things. I have 3 bags od clothes and one bag of shampoo and conditioner. One person even told me to let the Red Cross handle it. Why? If I can help and others can as well why not do it.
A lot of charitable organizations are suffering right now as well, obviously due to the economy. People just have the money to donate, it's hard on a lot of people right now. Look at Shriner's Hospital...they might be closing here in Erie. We won't know until July though. I'm not asking for money. I know there are a lot of people out there that are doing spring cleaning and getting rid of clothes that don't fit anymore, household items that have just been sitting and collecting dust....instead of throwing it away (and filling up the landfills) or donating it to the other organizations that are just going to turn around and sell it....why not donate it to those in need??
Doesn't that make sense? It will make you feel so much better knowing that you actually helped someone.
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