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I survived
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Oct 1, 2010 9:03 pm
712 Views
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The first week of school is closed....it went fast lol. Ok, so I'm taking classes at a local tech school here. This semester I have Accounting 1, Microsoft Office Word and Excel, keyboarding and this other retarded class called emerge. Basically emerge is a waste of time. It basically tells you how to use a computer, how to search the net, yada, yada, yada...keyboarding I don't really need but I don't type "correctly" lol. I don't keep my fingers where they are supposed to be...oh well, I type fast and very accurately, to me that's all that matters.
Right now Word is boring, until it gets to a point that I'm not familiar with, it is going to be very boring and it's a three hour long class. The last hour is ours to get our work done and I'm always done in a few minutes...but I have to stay there. Excel is pretty cool. I'm looking forward to all the stuff we can do in there. Accounting....well I was worried about it, thought it was going to beat me up...but so far it's going great and I love it. I've always liked math but this is a different math!
Working three days with week before and after school has definitely taken it's toll on me. I'm off work on Tuesday but have school....next weekend is my weekend!
My best friend and I are hanging out, her grandfather passed away this past week so she's been dealing with that and it will be our weekend together....I've missed my bar and bar friend 
Right now I think I'm going to drag my butt to bed....
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Feeling Hopeful!
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Sep 27, 2010 7:59 pm
894 Views
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For the first time I think I know what it really feels like to be hopeful....like things really will be ok!
I started school today and I can honestly say that I am only worried about the Accounting class. I will do the best I can and the teacher that I have for it is great. She will stop everything until she's sure you have it!
It's more then just the classes that have me feeling hopeful. My sister made a budget for me and I am starting that the first of the month. I am excited about that. I'm starting to get my life in order and it's a good thing. I can start paying back people who have helped me (there's only two)a little bit at a time and hopefully I can start putting something into savings.
It's going to be tough but I know I can do it. I've got a great group of friends who are my support system, who talk me up when I'm down and make me come out for a little bit just to get a break. Although with working and school I don't see that happening as much, but I'm not complaining (yet). It will be worth it in the end.....hopefully this time of year I will be at an office job (which would be awesome) and no longer a slave to the retail world. If you have never worked in retail you have no idea what we go through....customer service type jobs in general. They may look easy but it really isn't at times. That's a whole different blog in itself!!!
I guess you could say that for the first time in a long time I am feeling pretty good about things and where my life is going. I've removed the negatives (for the most part) from my life and some of that was painful and sad. With that removal A LOT of the drama has also left my life. It just feels good to see how strong and secure I have become this year....I still have my moments but I'm getting there! One day at a time isn't just for AA ya know! I think the positive influence of my friends (new and old) has helped tremendously!
I'm happy right now 
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Big day tomorrow
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Sep 26, 2010 7:52 pm
744 Views
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So my big "mini break" these past four days turned out to be a bit of a drag! The plans I had with all my friends were cancelled because SPM cancelled his shows here (but it's a good thing!) and the weather wasn't that great....one day it was just too hot for me to be able to be outside.
My orientation went well, got my schedule and my classes are going to be so boring at first but I will get through it. I'm nervous though. Not sure why because the classes I have tomorrow are easy.
Ugh!!! lol....I know I'll be fine.....it's just a new chapter in my life and it will be a good chapter!
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Blog removal
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Sep 23, 2010 7:39 pm
763 Views
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Since someone (or possibly more then one person)thinks my previous blog about people being liars and also hating liars was meant for someone specific I am deleting it. To assume that, because I posted a blog about it, I am holding myself back because I posted that is preposterous.
How someone can think that is a little funny....especially if they took the time to read all of my blogs lately. Going back to school so I can get a better job and keep from holding myself back?? I don't understand that at all. Making wise decisions and getting rid of those that also, in a way, kept me down as well....to me that means making a better life for myself and moving forward. Not staying where I'm at or going backward. I decided at the start of 2010 that I was going to think about myself for a change, not always put others wants and needs ahead of mine. Get rid of drama and chaos, people who aren't really there for me as a real friend should be. I don't regret any of the choices I have made this year. Do I regret losing some friends....yes, a little bit I do but I also realize that I made the right choice. I don't need people talking about me behind my back and being nice to my face. I don't need people lying to me about stupid little things that really don't matter.
I've learned who my real friends are and are not. I'm happy with where my life is at the moment and I know that there are some things I can't change right now and I am dealing with that the best I can. If you aren't happy with where your life is....then make the changes....otherwise stop whining and blaming others for your position or making excuses as to why you can't make the changes.
Staying with someone for the wrong reasons, lying because you are ashamed of your own life, trashing a friendship, being two faced....whatever you do.....there's a reason for it. So instead of telling me I need to take a look at my life and that I am holding myself back.....figure out what's wrong in your own life.
I don't pretend to be something I'm not. I am Kat, I am very and brutally honest when I need to be!I don't tell someone something just to make them happy or to appease them. I tell it like it is. If you can't take me that way then you don't need to be a part of my life. So, if you feel the need to "offend me" in public....do your best....it takes a lot to offend me (although I wasn't offended by what yumyumgirl66 said, she thinks she offended me). I can take it when people give me their opinions.....no one knows me better then myself, so unless it's coming from someone very close to me, it will not offend me.
Again, try all you want, assume what you want. Stop hiding and pretending to be someone you aren't.
Unfortunately I did lose a good friend over things like this.....but I haven't dwelled on it once. I said what I needed to say in a letter and the fact that this "friend" couldn't even respond (supposedly she was so distraught over what was going on....losing her best friend of almost 12 years)speaks volumes. The fact that it was said our friendship ending was over money is a complete LIE. Now, if she can lie to me for so long, make up stories and trash talk about me.....her best friend....don't think she won't do it to someone she hasn't known nearly as long.
I'm very choosy now about who I allow in my life and even then it takes a while for me to open up and trust them (male or female). I'm a lot more cautious of this....all because the biggest blow to me came from someone I loved and considered a best friend and a sister......
I am happy.....things are going well.....and I'm not just saying that.
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Getting stressed!!
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Sep 21, 2010 8:10 pm
696 Views
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So, my classes start next week, on Monday. This Thursday I'm going in to try and test out of one of my classes (basic computer knowledge) and I don't think there will be any problem there. Friday is orientation. I took Thursday through Sunday off.....my last real break until December. Sean Patrick McGraw was supposed to play here over the weekend but had to cancel. Seems like everytime I offer to hang up posters for him something else comes up that is a better option for him!!! It's great though. He's really getting somewhere.
Anyways.....the whole reason I'm stressed is because I'm wondering if I can handle it all. I will be working full time and doing 25 hours a week in school. I have to have my son up to the school by 730 am (he's going as well, yes we are starting at the same time!!), then I have to drive all the way to work, back up to the school for my classes and then back to work to finish my shift. I'm glad my manager is accomodating this....he does encourage us all to better ourselves if we can. This is the perfect time. My daughter is a senior and she isn't doing the color guard this year so I don't need to worry about after school practices and weekend competions. Everything just seems to be falling into place.....but it's going to be hard and I'm hoping it doesn't stress me out. I hope I can count on my kids to step up and help out more....time will tell.
I'm scared and I'm sure that's normal for someone my age going back to school....but I don't want to be stuck in a dead end job the rest of my life.
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Ever feel like what you do just isn't good enough
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Sep 12, 2010 8:29 pm
751 Views
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So, things for the most part had been ok here at home. Things were calm, they weren't stressful....then it seems all of a sudden that changed. Mom has started getting on my for things....things that I have no control over, things that weren't/aren't my fault.
I so wish I could move out and get my own place. I can't though....I can't because I can't leave her! I hate this tug and pull shit.
Now she's mad because her plants are dead. It isn't my fault....my sister took over that responsibilty a while aho and I didn't know she stopped....I'll buy her new plants...but damn she needs to stop getting on my case for shit that I don't do!!!
I just need to vent and can't seem to find the right words in order to do it sufficiently!! Does that make sense? I'm so frustrated and I really don't need this.....this week my brother comes back from California for a visit. This is the brother that is always on me about the house and how I don't keep it clean and it's a pig sty. You can ask anyone that knows me that it isn't as bad as he makes it sound. He makes it sounds like it should be on an episode of Hoarders, or that if the health department came they would find all kinds of violations....so not true. I mean I know it's a little untidy but nothing disgustingly bad. I get so irritated with trying to make everyone happy....
Anyways, since I can't seem to find the right words to properly vent with and get it out of my system I'm going to end here.
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Needing some help
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Sep 10, 2010 7:30 pm
674 Views
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Trying to get my "business" going again, been lacking in that area and with going back to school and cutting back on hours at work I could really use the income from this. If you want more details you can email me on here, if you aren't able to email then comment on this blog post and I will email you.
It's nothing dirty or illegal lol....it's actually a rather popular item and both men and women can use it. It's for the house....kitchen, bathroom, office....many options. Items for kids as well.....
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Nice
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Sep 4, 2010 7:51 pm
762 Views
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Call me crazy but I love this cooler weather. Not the rain so much but it makes me look forward to fall. I love the fall. Jeans and hoodie weather!!
The summer did seem to pass quickly, I think because it was my daughters last high school summer vacation. She's a senior now and it's hard to believe that she is going to be in college soon. I cried on her first day of her senior year.....time went so slow before they started school and once both kids were in school, time seemed to fly by. How I wish I could go back to the times when they were little and had no care in the world.....
I'm enjoying these next couple of weeks the best I can before I start school. So not looking forward to both school and work....I think things here at home are going to be what suffers. I really need my son to step up and be responsible. I can't even say more responsible, that's sad. I know there has to be some sacrifices in order for me to get ahead. It's only for 9 months....that's really not that long once you think about it in terms of semesters.
I have three more days off for this mini vacation and then I have four more days off at the end of the month and those nights will be enjoyed greatly at a local establishment with some great music and friends! My last bash, I guess you could say, before I have no time for myself. I can do it!
I don't want to jinx myself but I think all the bullshit, high school drama from that other site has come to an end. I hope so anyways.
All in all....things are going ok I guess. Nothing exciting...well actually....I went back to my natural hair color....I forgot what I looked like....I love the new me.
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Good times
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Sep 2, 2010 9:29 pm
743 Views
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There's something to be said about music shows being outside. It just makes you feel so much better!! Went to Bemus Point tonight to see my friend play at the Bemus Pops....the opening band wasn't to bad....the sun was killer....the ventriloquist was annoying and a diva to say the least.
It was great getting to hang out with the band and everyone else associated with them. Met the new guitarist and the other guitarists son and ex wife....lol....can't wait to see everyone again....
Once the sun went down it was a lot nicer! SPM did a great job as usual with the show....
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Lately
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Aug 28, 2010 7:16 pm
765 Views
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Things seem to be getting me down a lot lately. Nothing specific. I'm just finding myself being down. I'm calling the doctor on Monday to see if I can get an appointment and have my meds checked to see if maybe they need to be changed. I'd like to do it before I start my classes. This constant feeling of being tired is really getting to me as well. I hate it.
I am excited about school and getting nervous at the same time. Can I do it? I so want to do it and I hope I don't let my own insecurities break me and quit. I will NOT quit!!!
Things with the other online site aren't getting any better.....I've filed the complaint with the FBI but they said there may not be anything they will do. I was told to go to my local DA's office as well as the police again. Someone told me to try the state police as well. My friend still has people showing up at her house expecting a date or who knows what else. That's scary. We think we know who is behind it but without proof we can't do anything. If anyone knows how to track the IP address of emails let me know please!
Other then that, not much going on. Things have been a little quiet. My daughter went back to school the other day, a senior now. I got all emotional....I can't believe she's graduating this year.....making me teary eyes just typing about it lol.
Hope everyone is doing good and being careful
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Serious blog this time...any help/input is appreciated
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Aug 22, 2010 6:18 pm
825 Views
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So, I'm a member on this other social networking site (not an adult site)and a friend of mine on there and I have had fake profiles "cloned" in our likeness. Whoever is behind it has made them private now so they can't be viewed....mine was made to make me look like a lesbian and I am looking for hook ups. I did talk to the local police and all they could tell me to do was report it to the website....we both did that and all we got was the customary email reply saying they received my email and will get back to me....never have and it's been more then a month. Well, things settled down and both of our fake profiles hadn't been active for a month almost...until this weekend.
My friend is having guys show up at her place at all hours of the night.....they are assuming it's her they are talking to and are setting up meetings....or dates or whatever. She finally reported it to the FBI through an online "contact us" kind of thing. Unlike this site there is no phone number to call so we can't even do that. Well now I started getting emails from the one fake profile and basically telling me this is just the beginning of "the game". The person we also think is behind all of this is suddenly trying to talk to me on an adult level now....which is pretty funny since she publicly said shit about me for the entire web to see....not buying it. She's full of shit.
I called the local police again and they did say it was a federal matter since it is all happening online. I'm tired of this insecure little bitch who doesn't trust her man and makes herself feel better by throwing it in my face that her man couldn't even keep a hard on because I am so fat (but he had no problem having his head between my thighs and making me cum over and over)and he was never attracted to me (correct me if I'm wrong but if you aren't attracted to someone would you be able to even perform oral on them????). I don't care about that, her words don't hurt. He was no good in bed anyways in that respect. She's just relentless....anyways....
I'm calling the local (Pittsburgh) FBI office tomorrow on my lunch....I was just wondering if anyone's ever had to deal with teh FBI before???
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Getting excited
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Aug 19, 2010 8:49 pm
757 Views
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So many things are happening for me and I feel like I'm finally changing for the better. School starts next month and I can't wait. Working on top of going to classes at the same time will be hard but so worth it in the end. I will be able to get a better job and not have to work retail anymore! I keep telling myself that at this time next year there's a very good chance I won't be where I'm at and that helps me push through all the bull shit!
Financially....things are still hard but getting better. I worked on a budget and discovered I have extra money and no idea what I'm spending it on....so I will get all of that under control here soon. It might take a month or two to get everything on track and then I can also take care of an old debt with a former friend (yes I said former and yes I plan on paying it back). I have other things I also need to get taken care of. It sucks knowing that I am the one responsible for my financial hardships and being able to admit that takes a lot. Now that I know what I was wasting it kind of puts it all into perspective and I can fix it.
Still seeing the guy from my past, we aren't a couple but things are going good. I'm not just tieing myself to one guy though. I am still dating and hooking up with only one person. Until I get in a solid relationship it is only one person for sexual fun. At least the sex is awesome with this one guy!
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light at the far end of the tunnel??
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Aug 13, 2010 6:20 pm
690 Views
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So, got the call Tuesday that my car was ready and the total I owed was $614. Can we say ouch! I didn't know how I was going to come up with it. I was worried that I was going to lose my car. I was behind on the payments because of having to rely on others for rides and cabs until I was able to get a rental. Finally got the rental only to discover that there was a $50 deposit that I was never told about until it showed up on my bank statement. So that also put a damper on things. I've been trying not to let things stress me out but it's hard. Luckily I've got some really awesome friends that help keep me positive. My sister pulled some strings with her finances and was able to lend me the money to get my repairs paid and for that I am grateful, just hated the fact that she did. I had called to ask her if there was any way she could help and she said no. Then she called me later and said that she might be able to but before she would look into it she wanted me to come out to her place and work on a budget. I've always put that off.....I hate admitting I need help, but this is just another step in a new direction for me and I will embrace it and do my best. We figured out my income and what I have to pay out every month. If I follow this I will actually have extra money....money that right now I am just blowing on things that I couldn't even tell ya on what. My other sister is going to print out a spreadsheet for me that shows what has to come out of every check. I can do this! I can make it work! I can get myself on the right track with the help of family. We may not agree on a lot of things concerning my Mom, but we are there for each other.
I've lost a few more pounds! Little by little. I think I have definitely been cutting back on the junk and not eating as much fast food....my medication is probably helping with that. Having an underactive thyroid causes a lot of problems, problems that I never would have guessed! Now, I can't wait till I start to get some energy back...which it hasn't. That's the only thing that isn't really changing. I'm constantly tired.
I start school September 27th. I'm looking forward to it but not the work/school scheduling. I have class from 1-550 and then I will be at work before and after. My entire day....so not looking forward to it! But the payoff will be worth it!
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To link to this blog (hellofagood_1) use [blog hellofagood_1] in your messages.
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