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It's been one week
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May 20, 2012 10:32 am
65 Views
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Last Saturday I finally did what I had been putting off. I had Shadow put down. It was a very emotional day. I still catch myself crying because I miss her so much. It's so quiet here without her. I haven't put her bed away because the cats use it and I'm just not ready to do it.
May has been one hard month. Emotionally as well as financially. Had a second job for a few days but it didn't work out. Might have to take another retail job 
I go back to the podiatrist tomorrow and I will probably end up having surgery on my foot to remove all the bone spurs. Not looking forward to that but the oain is bad.
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Good News!!!!
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May 4, 2012 9:58 pm
227 Views
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So after less than one week of signing up with one staffing company I already have a job....the other two places, I've been waiting months and getting the run around with them.
Funny thing is though, I got a call from my old school today...they were following up on the resumes that I had them send out for me. Haven't heard anything but the one place is accepting them until May 7. I did tell them that I recently got this job. The career placement guy asked me if I would mind working in a doctors office....said not at all and he e-mailed me the info....definitely going to send my resume in. They aren't through a staffing company, the pay is better and I know the staff there!!!
This coming week is the week that I am finally putting my "baby" down. It's hard but it needs to be done. I'm going to be so lost without her.
Things with Shawn are going better than ever. We've done a lot of talking and sorting through things and still have more...but it's going good....
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love it when.....
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Apr 30, 2012 6:20 pm
280 Views
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I have to laugh when guys message me saying that they have read my profile.
"Hey I read ur profile and it says ur looking for 1 on 1 sex well let me know cause I'm free tomorrow from 8:30 am to 5:00 pm ok let me know"
If this guy had actually read my profile then he would see that it states I am here mainly for my blog and (in caps no less) that I am not here for sex.....guys may not have that much of a problem on here if they would actually take the time to read a persons profile rather then just look at the pics
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Let's see how many times I can use UGH as a title
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Apr 27, 2012 7:47 pm
324 Views
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I applied for many jobs today on careerlink....got a call from one of the staffing agencies today and I have to go refill out paperwork with them since I haven't done that since July but they do have a job in mind for me....hoping I get something soon....
Next week I will be putting my beloved Shadow down
Right now I'm stressing about my rent. I don't have it all and I can't blame anyone but myself....I was counting on getting a loan from the credit union (credit rebuilding loan) but they neglected to tell me 6 months ago that in order to get it I needed to have direct deposit as well....so my fault for thinking I could count on something. I am not looking forward to telling my landlard. In about a month I will be getting what little inheritance I get from my mothers estate....hopefully it will be enough to get my car inspected....it hasn't been inspected for almost a year...whooops lol
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and the carousel keeps spinning
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Apr 23, 2012 1:00 pm
342 Views
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I'm still searching for that elusive second job! I really need it. Barely getting by.
Other than my vehicle not being inspected, I'm legal to drive. Paid for new insurance and sent in the restoration fee for my license. Not sure how I'm going to manage.
Shawn and I are talking again. We both agree we can't stay away from each other but at the moment the time isn't quite right. We are taking it one day at a time.
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Brief Reprieve
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Apr 2, 2012 4:19 pm
606 Views
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Didn't think I was going to make my rent....but my amended tax return came in the mail today.
I know God has a plan for me and what it is I don't know...but that helped relieve some stress. Thank you Lord.
Still trying to find that second job...nothing yet. Things are getting hard and I need it. Hopefully my son has a job soon as well. He can help with the bills.
I can't remember if I talked about Shawn leaving again. Once again it was about two months and he decided he wasn't ready for a serious relationship and to never forget that he does love me. I honestly think it is he that can't handle the long distance. I don't think it is over.....not yet. Just another break so to speak. I know he loves me and I know it hurt him as well to tell me what he did. I feel it in my heart though that things are not over. I won't sit and wait though....when he comes back the time will be right. In the mean time I'm just going to go back to dating and nothing serious. Is that wrong? I don't think it is. I just know that in time things will be clear.
I really am leaving a lot in the hands of the Lord.
I have to have my dog put down...another hard thing to do...but needs to be done. I'm so sad about this and I don't want to do it...but I know it is not right to keep her around for my benefit. Her arthritis is getting worst, her cataracts are getting worse...it's just not fair to her. I'm gonna miss her terribly so.
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FML
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Mar 23, 2012 8:39 am
726 Views
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Things just keep getting better and better.
Went to the doctor the other day because my foot pain was close to unbearable. I have osteoarthritis in my feet and probably knees. Have to have x-rays done when I get my insurance back.
I filed an amended tax return and I called the IRS the other day to check on it....for some reason it's being frozen and a letter won't be sent out till april 2nd.
I decided to cash in the life insurance policy my mom had on me. I need the money. Saw an envelope in the mail today, got excited thinking it was the check. It's tge paperwork and it all needs notarized. That was never mentioned.
Until I get a second job I'm barely scraping by. The price of gas doesn't help. I have to go get my daughter from college today. Bring her back tomorrow. My rent is due soon. My phone bill is due.
I really feel like giving up. Really.
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Don't forget
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Mar 18, 2012 9:07 pm
785 Views
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All consuming....these thoughts I have.
Screaming at me from the inside.
Wanting to get out, but afraid to escape.
Hope....despair....defeat....believe.
He loves me, don't ever forget that.
He left me, can't forget that.
Make it through one more time.
How could I ever forget.
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Going Through the Motions
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Mar 17, 2012 3:53 pm
848 Views
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It's another day and I find myself going through the motions.
Feeling trapped by society, just want to run.
In a dark room, alone with my thoughts and emotions.
I've pulled out the mask again so no one sees.
I'm drawn back to him, no matter what I do.
Just waiting for the numbness to subside.
Going through the emotions every day.
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two in one day
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Mar 15, 2012 3:56 pm
837 Views
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I have two job interviews tomorrow. One through a temp agency and one at an insurance company. I know the temp one pays very well and not sure about the insurance one. Either way......hope I get one of them.
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and the search goes on.....
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Mar 7, 2012 9:42 pm
974 Views
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Had one of the worst interviews of my life today!! Not my part though....the girl doing the interview was horrible!!
First thing she says to me is she searched for me ....to see if she knew me.
She swore like a sailor during the interview.
We never really discussed the job....but we did cover buyer protection on e bay....
She was dressed so inappropriately!!! She was wearing a long sweater....as a sweater dress. She shouldn't have. She had on over the knee, black, suede, wedge heels and hot pink, glitter, fishnet stockings. Wow....
Could not wait to get out of that interview.
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