Unhappy Halloween  

helga_hansen 49F  
3122 posts
10/31/2005 1:07 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Unhappy Halloween

She's lying in her bed, desperately craving the relief that her cocktail of drugs will eventually bring. While she waits, she's crying. The pain has become too much to bear. But it's not just the pain in her body, it's the pain in her heart too. She feels lost, and feels no one can save her from her loneliness.

Yesterday she discovered why someone she had admired and respected had been avoiding her. His last words to her were "I hope the old you turns up again. She was a nice person to know."

This was the old her who foolishly cried every time he never turned up for a meet, but always pasted a bright smile on her face and told him it was okay, she understood. The old her who accepted that there were things he would never share with her, even though she shared many private things with him. The old her who discovered that she knew nothing about a man she had so foolishly come to care for.

The old her had discovered being nice meant others took advantage of her good nature. So she became the "new" her. Cold. Hard. Bitchy.

But who is the new her? Does she even exist? No. It's still the old, insecure, desperately lonely and sad old her, who is simply wearing a mask. Look closely... those are her tears sliding down her new cold, hard cheek.

And the new her would never cry.

And JH, if you think this is a cheap shot, even for me, remember this... I have nothing to lose - I've lost it all, already.

Love, hugs and kisses from ♥♥HH♥♥

Wackytits 53F

10/31/2005 5:28 am

Helga....You made me cry, but "Thank You." xx

GangBangCple 66M/55F

10/31/2005 6:46 am

well I dont know who JH is , but I hope he's feeling very uncomfortable right now

TheQuietGuy2005 54M
2386 posts
10/31/2005 6:47 am

Helga ... no one - and I mean no one - is worth this much pain. I'm sure you realise it too in a cold, intellectual sort of way. Unfortunately, what we know doesn't always tie up with what we feel.

Tell the "new her" to get stuffed for a while: cry, grieve and remember that it's all part of the healing process. As those tempting tablets help you through the physical pain, the tears will help to heal the emotional wounds.

And remember, always, that there are those who care ...

HardlyYours4Now 52M

10/31/2005 5:02 pm

Special Delivery for Helga: One e-hug from the other side of the pond.

AlbertPrince 57M

10/31/2005 5:31 pm

Helga, I don't think there is an old you and a new you. It is just you, developing as you move along your chosen path. But if the path you have chosen brings you this much heartache, perhaps you should think about where the path is leading you.

A path that started out as fun, sometimes takes a serious turn when you don't expect it to, and this is not always where you intended your destination to be.

Become a member to create a blog