Helga and the Missing Identity...  

helga_hansen 49F  
3122 posts
1/21/2006 4:48 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Helga and the Missing Identity...

She typed her password in, and pressed enter. The little green bar ventured along the bottom of her screen, and she watched the sand trickle through the egg-timer. Suddenly an alien screen appeared before her, and she read the words in horror...

Account could not be restored. We could not recover your account. However, if you email customer service, we still may be able to restore your account. Send an email to billing"at"AdultFriendFinder"dot"com and put "Account Restore" in the subject line. Don't forget to include your username in the email. We'll notify you within 24 hours of whether we were able to restore your account.

Please note: if we cannot recover your account, we will take extra steps to compensate you and resolve this issue to your satisfaction. Once again, please accept our apologies for this inconvenience.

The AdultFriendFinder Team

Her heart sank. All her treasured blogs, her photo albums. All potentially gone - all her emails, from male admirers far and wide (okay, so not all would be missed, but in amongst those pathetic attempts to raise her interest, were words from men who had made her smile).

She went back to the log-in screen and tried again. Same message. Same chilling words. She stormed off to the kitchen, and made herself a cup of coffee, trying to stop the tremors that were building within. She stalked back to her laptop, and tried again. Those stark words taunted her. "Damn the compensation", her mind thought... "who will compensate me for the all the thoughts and emotions I left behind in my blog??"

She noticed that a friend was online, and she poured her woes out, needing comfort in this awful time. As she was chatting with her online friend, she tried yet again. "Please, please let me in", she thought.

Click... the lock turned, and the door sprung open. Yegods! She was in! She scurried to her blog page. Everything was still there, as it had been earlier in the evening. She raced off to check her profile. All seemed to be as it should, at a cursory glance. All her photos were still in the albums. She breathed a sigh of relief, and decided to go and relax in the Euro Hot Tub. It was there she noticed something was amiss. That was it. She was no longer a miss. Her female form had been snatched from her, ruthlessly. She was a nothing, an empty space between two brackets... ().

She raced back to her profile, and that was when she started noticing a few little things were missing. She was now genderless, and homeless, by the looks of things. Her sexual preference was under question. Aaaarrrggghhhh!!! Immediately, she set about rectifying it all. "There's no place like home", she thought as she reminded the world where she lived. "I'm straight, there's no question about that", she thought as she clicked on the relevant choice. Then she hit the invisible hurdle. The screen informed her that she was not allowed to change her gender. "But I didn't" she though hysterically. "You did this to me, dammit!!" The screen advised her to email Customer Services, so she scampered over to the Help page, and immediately set about rectifying this grotesque mistake. Email sent (did you know they want you to push that "send" button three times to make sure you really, really want to send that message??). Having done all she could, she wearily sank back into The Tub. There her friends rallied around, but it was awkward. Things were slow. While she was there, word reached her that her much-prized femininity had been restored. She raced back to her profile, and sure enough, she was a woman once more. She was thrilled, although back in The Tub she was still an empty void... (). During chat, the screen was taking ages to refresh, so she decided it was time to tumble into bed, and sleep off this nightmare situation.

The next morning, refreshed and ready to start the day, she logged in, heart in her mouth once more. Relief poured through her veins as all seemed to be well. Then alarm bells struck. In big RED letters a notice warned her that she MUST complete her profile before her profile was made available to other members. "What??? But last night, everything was fine!" She stalked off to look, and sure enough, all her profile details were gone, and her profile had been switched off. Aaaarrrggghhhh!!! Not again!

She wracked her brains, trying to remember the words she had used in her profile, and set about rewriting it all. Once that was done, and submitted, she ventured off to Blogville, stopping off to read new blogs. She smiled as she read that a fellow blogger was offering a reward for the return of her sexuality. She wrote a comment thanking him for his efforts, and added her comment. And then she noticed that something was missing. Her photo appeared to be missing from her comment. She was bemused... how had that happened? She had checked, and all her photos were still intact. While pondering this, she noticed something else rather eerie. Whilst signing the Visitors Book, something crucial was missing. She was sexless again!!!

Someone in Blogville had snatched her identity... no photo for the Wanted poster, and no gender identification. What was a girl to do? Was she a girl? A woman? A man?

She was a name with an glaringly empty space next to her name...

Love, hugs and kisses from ♥♥HH♥♥

TheQuietGuy2005 54M
2386 posts
1/21/2006 6:48 am

Truly a horror story, Helga ... fear not, I am currently engaging the services of Messrs Holmes, Poirot, Frost and Morse to track down the perpetrators of these evil deeds.

In the meantime, I shall remind everyone of your true gender at each and every opportunity, lest it be forgotten

helga_hansen 49F  
1987 posts
1/21/2006 6:54 am

I am thrilled to report that my missing bra has been returned, and along with it, that little essential F! Thanks to the powers that be for making me feel whole again! {=}


Love, hugs and kisses from ♥♥HH♥♥

MarinadelMar 59F

1/21/2006 8:22 am

It's a horrible feeling, isn't it?
I lost my profile too but it was restored. Obviously the gremlins were hard at work in the system
Being the cynical woman that I am, I always keep Notepad copies of just about everything important I write on this site (bar comments)

JJKittyKat 59F

1/21/2006 8:51 am

I noticed your pic was missing from some of your comments! I thought you must just be changing your profile pic again Oh1 well I'm glad you are restored. There's nothing worse than having your underwear tampered with

Babel__Fish 45F

1/21/2006 9:45 am

LOL... nice to have your whole self back in action sweetie!

Babel {=}

sexyblokeinlincs 54M
470 posts
1/21/2006 9:52 am

Welcome back!I thought you had been quiet plus your trade mark bra just disappeared...


TheQuietGuy2005 54M
2386 posts
1/21/2006 10:57 am

Good to see you returned to your usual, under-clad glory!

brightblonde3 57F

1/21/2006 11:01 am

*whispering quietly so gremlin ears don't perk up*

welcome back hh...



ArcticRomance 39M

1/21/2006 2:47 pm

Feels a braveheart moment coming on.You can take our.........

papyrina 50F
21133 posts
1/21/2006 2:52 pm

with or without your (F) your all woman hun

I'm a

i'm here to stay

oldman1776 78M
3164 posts
1/21/2006 6:28 pm

Glad that your all in one peace again.

Must be hell not knoweing if your a man or woman.

GB_Cple 66M/55F  
3037 posts
1/22/2006 3:02 am

well written post

Ihave heard it has happened to many others too, us included,
but Normal Service was resumed.

I suppose thousands of bloggers are now busy saving copies of their blogs, friends list, profiles ect just in case next time, there is no happy ending

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