Reflecting and Taking Myself Off the Market  

heavensent1123 52F
447 posts
5/4/2006 5:26 pm

Last Read:
6/8/2006 4:33 pm

Reflecting and Taking Myself Off the Market


It's been a year now, surprising how a day or two can change your outlook on things. I'm sitting here and thinking just how incredibly stupid and incredibly lucky I've been all at the same time.

I've made a few mistakes along the way, I did a few things that I probably shouldn't have and a few things right, I'm not anywhere close to achieving perfect karma, that would probably take me another life-time.

I kinda of got a crash course in all this dating thing, what the hell did I know? The last time I actually really dated was 20+ years ago so it went to my head for a little while.
I do have to say though that my ever present guardian angel must have been with me, I never actually dated any real losers or psychos, most if not all of the guys I dated were really nice, granted they may have had a few idiosyncrasies in there but overall they were just flat out great guys.

I hear one of them is getting married and I truly do wish him the best. He was truly a really great guy to hang out with, we just weren't looking for the same thing, thats really the long and short of that.

Another one, well, life sometimes has a funny way of throwing monkey wrenches into the mix, so who knows. He's also with a really great girl now and I wish them both the best, he's still considered one of my best friends here, sorry to hang that title on you, you know who you are.

Another one, well, I think we just made too many mistakes right off and it was rather doomed from there. He wanted things I didn't, and there was always a huge trust issue involved that I could just never get over. I'm by no means pretending to be a perfect angel, I screwed up also, but being totally honest it really was a matter of trust. I always kind of waited for him to revert back to the player I knew he was when I met him, was hoping against hope that it wouldn't happen but last I heard he had, so I'm not really surprised.

Another one I dated very briefly, that was my hang up I just couldn't get over the age thing, he was incredibly sweet and incredibly intelligent, and he showed me that not all 26 year olds were immature, again my issue and I know I kind of hurt him when I ended that. Him I'd like to talk to again, just to tell him hey it really wasn't you, it was about your age. Some of us older gals can be so judgmental and set in our ways, I miss him, he really was great. I hope wherever he is that he finally found happiness and a girl that would make him feel like his feet never touched the ground.

There was another 2 I dated in there, well not sure you could call one date really dated, there just weren't any major sparks I guess, so they were one date people, but like the rest they really were nice.

Now, now I'm with a guy that has seen me through more BS than most guys probably would have ever dealt with, without saying you know what?? I didn't bargain for this and out the door they'd go. He makes me laugh on a daily bases, he cuddles like you wouldn't believe, and he's someone I can really talk to, I trust him, I feel completely comfortable with him and to be perfectly honest I'm really looking forward to the next few months with him. I think I'm going to wise up for a change and stop taking him for granted, and really start appreciating everything he's done for me and continues to do even though I sometimes think he's being a major pain about it, but at least I know his hearts in the right place. Thanks Danny

heavensent1123 52F

5/4/2006 7:23 pm

Susie, never give up hoping, sometimes they present themselves as diamonds in the rough, you just have to know it when it comes your way.


AltumHunksUnite 53M

5/4/2006 7:59 pm

Good for you, darlin'.

You know I feel the same about you.

BIG HUG!

Let me drive. I like the view


1Sir_Lancelot 59M

5/4/2006 10:38 pm

I'm happy for you hun, guess that means your now untouchable also LOL Sometimes life takes you down some strange paths, just so you can see things for yourself and experience more of life, But by doing so you also learn and grow.


GoddessOfTheDawn 105F
11238 posts
5/5/2006 3:05 am


~ smilez ~ good for the both of you

congratz....


Xeryien 51M
1445 posts
5/5/2006 6:21 am

Everyone is right around the corner... Never give up searching Susie! And having the habit of being a guy - I can say with great certainty that we ARE like wine - you just have to stomp the shit out of us to get us there!

(No, I really don't know where that came from!)

Congrats Heaven, I am happy for you! But I do want to know if you are staying on the boards?

Xeryien


heavensent1123 52F

5/5/2006 7:02 am

Xeryien;

Of course I'm staying on the boards, the only thing thats changed is I'm just not looking to hook up with anyone. Other than that it's still the status quo, so yep I'm still going to be camming (rated g to pg 13, maybe an occasional R in there) never said I wasn't an exhibitionist.
Yes I'm still going to go off on tangents when I either get pissed or don't agree with something, hey it's just me, there's a lot going through this head of mine.
Yes, I'm going to start attending A LOT more of the M&G's schedule allowing, my friends are there and I'm tired of not going just so I can avoid certain situations, hopefully all involved will be adult enough to deal with the way things are and move on. If I go alone or with someone it doesn't matter anymore, I'm a big girl I can take care of myself, I don't need a babysitter. Besides my pool game is getting really rusty.
Looking forward to meeting all the new people I've talked with but haven't actually met IN person, you being among them. See you at the beach next weekend!!!!!!


lawman_chris 46M
12 posts
5/5/2006 7:56 am

Good luck Ms. Heaven. The market will no longer be as bright without you in it.


heavensent1123 52F

5/5/2006 8:04 am

Chris;

It's guys like you that made me do some serious soul-searching about taking myself off the market.
As for how it's going to turn out?? I don't have a clue but I'm going to give it my best shot and hope for the best.


Tone_33756 55M

5/5/2006 1:25 pm

That was a very well written blog!

I wish you the best of luck on this present journey.

As you well know, if/when you ever have bumps in the road, the 'Tone couch' is always available. And for you, available at a moments notice, 24/7


heavensent1123 52F

5/5/2006 4:26 pm

LOL Tone, the speed limit should read 5 mph on a regular bases, unexpected speed bumps may rise up out of nowhere, you know me.
One minute all is fine the next all hell breaks loose, and then Xeryien wonders about that tangent thing, you should let him know as far as dealing with me it just kind of part of the territory.


swingweight3 56M

5/5/2006 4:39 pm

Heavenly-one...

While it seems that the past week has been, (for the majority of us) the same ol' "tick-tock"...your 'clock' has found one of those times in our lives where seeminly time stands-still while all the while running at a pace that is only imaginable. We all have them - to understand when they occure...is a blessing! Good on ya' Seems you were 'hit' with the reality of what is most meaningful, most important, and above all...most special for your being, (Soul).

To embrace this reality is special - most run the other way. I for one...send wishes and sincere "good-thoughts" you way from me. The power of possitive thinking is your Gift - keep it close to you and nuture that aspect of what makes you..."you".

Peace


focus / meaning /


AskerChertLigan 51M
24 posts
5/5/2006 9:14 pm

heavensent1123
I would like to compliment you on your blogs i try to keep up with them but i sometimes fall behind. I go to school and work full time it is tuff. Your thoughts are in the right direction keep it up and you will soon profit from all your work. Best of luck If you are in Orlando FL look me up. Once again best of luck.


lawman_chris 46M
12 posts
5/6/2006 8:47 am

    Quoting heavensent1123:
    Chris;

    It's guys like you that made me do some serious soul-searching about taking myself off the market.
    As for how it's going to turn out?? I don't have a clue but I'm going to give it my best shot and hope for the best.
Guys like me, is this a good or bad thing? Just not sure if this was a compliment or a polite way of saying I'm an a-hole. Just curious.

Either way, good luck Ms. Heaven.


heavensent1123 52F

5/8/2006 3:56 am

Chris, believe me it was meant as a compliment!!!!! Even if I never did get that pic


Xeryien 51M
1445 posts
5/8/2006 8:31 am

Nothing wrong with tangents! (I'm getting better at hanging on during a conversation with women - I think VERY 'linearly' and when someone turns - I keep going straight!)


heavensent1123 52F

5/8/2006 10:03 am

Swingweight- that has to be the nicest compliment someone has given me in along time, btw, I miss our converastaions just to let you know. As for looking at the bright side, I am the eternal optimist, my feeling is it could have been worse, when things look really bad all I have to do is look around and watch people and it really could be worse, there are a lot of people that I would not want to trade places with in a million years. So I try to be thankful and always look at the brightside.

Xeryien- I've noticed that about most men, they do think linearly, wanna teach me how to do that???


rm_JohnMacLaine 50M
585 posts
5/10/2006 9:40 am

Heaven,

congrats on your find, I wish you well and all luck in the world. I do look forward to finaly meeting you at one of the M&G's in the future, although I can not make it this weekend due to work schedule.

Maybe in June..

best wishes..

Scott

"I can retain neither respect or affection for a government which has been moving from wrong to wrong in order to defend its own immorality" Mahatma Ghandi


JuicyBBW1001 54F

5/14/2006 8:34 pm

Heaven you and Dingo seem like the perfect couple. I saw the way you two seemed so comfortable with one another at my birthday party. One day maybe I will find that same comfortable feeling too.

Juicy


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