To Lighten the Mood...  

heavenly_body39 60F
740 posts
11/20/2005 11:29 pm

Last Read:
3/21/2006 7:05 am

To Lighten the Mood...

Heard on my favorite student-run radio station the other day:

"How do you get down from an elephant?"

"You don't...you get down from a duck."

(lol and clean enough to tell at the family Thanksgiving table.)




hormone49 57M

11/21/2005 5:01 pm

A man and a woman, who have never met before, but are both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, They were both very tired and fell
asleep quickly...he in the upper bunk and she in the lower.

At 1:00 AM, the man leaned over and gently woke the woman saying, "Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold." "I have a better idea," she replied. "Just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married." Wow! That's a great idea!" he exclaimed.

"Good," she replied. "Get your own damm blanket!"

After a moment of silence, he farted.


hormone49 57M

11/21/2005 5:05 pm

A man and a woman, who have never met before, but are both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly...he in the upper bunk and she in the lower.

At 1 AM, the man leaned over and gently woke the woman saying, "Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold."

"I have a better idea," she replied. "Just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married."

Wow! That's a great idea!" he exclaimed.

"Good," she replied. "Get your own damm blanket!"

After a moment of silence, he farted.


hormone49 57M

11/21/2005 5:11 pm

(Sorry about the double entry above. I thought I was editing out the Smiley Face and replacing the modified post. So, here is another joke.)

A lonely frog telephoned the Psychic Hotline and asked what his future holds.

His Personal Psychic Advisor tells him: "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you."

The frog is thrilled, "This is great! "Will I meet her at a party?" he croaks.

"No," says the psychic, "in biology class."


heavenly_body39 60F
157 posts
11/21/2005 5:47 pm

lol ty so much hormone !!!

heavenly


heavenly_body39 60F
157 posts
11/21/2005 5:56 pm

Here's one for you...

Q: "How do you make a hormone?"

A: "You don't pay her."


hormone49 57M

11/22/2005 9:00 am

Little Johnny

Little Johnny watched his daddy's car pass by the school playground and go into the woods. Curious, he followed the car and saw Daddy and Aunt Jane locked in a passionate embrace.

Little Johnny found this so exciting that he could hardly contain himself as he ran home and started to tell his mother, "Mommy, I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane........"

At this point Mommy cut him off and said, "Johnny, this is such an interesting story. Suppose you save the rest of it for supper time. I want to see the look on Daddy's face when you tell it tonight."

At the dinner table, Mommy asked little Johnny to tell his story.

Johnny started his story, "I was at the playground and I saw daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off. Then Aunt Jane and Daddy started doing the same thing that Mommy and Uncle Bill used to do when Daddy was in the Army."

MORAL:
Sometimes you need to listen to the whole story before you interrupt.


heavenly_body39 60F
157 posts
11/22/2005 6:25 pm

LOL GOOD one hormone!! I'm needing a good laugh tonight!!


heyokamystic 61M
7 posts
11/22/2005 9:34 pm

Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.
~ Woody Allen

Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?
~ Rita Rudner

When authorities warn you of the sinfulness of sex, there is an important lesson to be learned. Do not have sex with the authorities.
~ Matt Groening

See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.
~ Robin Williams

You know "that look" women get when they want sex?
Me neither.
~ Steve Martin

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face and the egg is frowning and looking put out. The egg mutters to no one in particular, "I guess we answered that question."
~ Author Unknown


Become a member to create a blog