|Blogs > heavenly_body39 > heavenly_body's celestial fun|
Is always there, in the corners, lurking. I ignore its evil, unwanted, presence by moving, dancing, talking, chatting, fucking. All of this has an 'edge' or bite to it when guilt stops lurking and comes out of the shadows into my conscious mind.
Guilt, self-defeating emotion, ranks up there with jealousy on my list of useless, wasted mind energy.
Yet its presence in my heart cuts especially when I stop running and start listening.
Yet I dance around it, busying myself with another demanding day and it fades back into the manageable shadows, again.
9/29/2005 2:39 pm
You are NOT ALONE on this one!!|
Guilt must be right up there.
Let me share;
I was in Asia long ago.. and also in 2004.
There.. emotions seem to be ENTIRELY DIFFERENT from our western ones:
Respect for elders and relatives ranks high.
The fact that one helps the family and others is MORE IMPORTANT THAN WHAT ONES DOES..
If you ever watch Asian films.. the "bad Tirad" killer will love his mom, dad and family.. above all else..
Bottom line for me; the ladies there seem to approach with less "guilt" than might happen here; like you described.
Namaste...LOTS OF TANTRA HUGZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
9/29/2005 7:34 pm
Your mind is so intresting,,,,,,What are the tenticles of Guilt,,,Guilt is so mecurical,,,It appears and disappears sometimes with the breath,,,,but it always points to a much deeper issue that at some point needs to be addressed,,,,,,But the question is when to address it,,and will it make a difference,,,,,,,,,,,|
9/29/2005 8:32 pm
Guilt is a self-imposed torture. Only you can make it go away.|
10/14/2005 9:19 am
at least you have some idea about what to be guilty about, though i have a feeling your guilt is totally unfounded. |
you never know... perhaps what you feel guilty about is actually healing you or helping another to grow stronger.
the things i most regret are the things i don't know that i'm doing or that i don't know how to change...
like why isn't my daughter happier? why is she sometimes so short with me?
why wasn't i stronger about the things i care so much about--- and now those things are gone forever...
btw. i never feel guilty about sex... that has been a wonderful distraction
i have learned to turn prayers around... rather than "forgive me for...." its "thank you for the intimacy, the love..."
i heard long ago (related to an abuse issue) that whatever u did at the time, was the right think to do, because u made it through. Well, life is kinda that way, (one big abuse issue, lol)... sometimes we just need to do certain things to make it through... things important only unto ourself. unfortunately, i know several friends of friends who experienced mid-life suicides and illnesses. sometimes it is something you least expect that pushes you over the edge--- what you feel guilty about may just need to be enbraced as what you needed to do to heal, to make it through, to find some joy... and i know you have done it all with good intentions.. and "all things work together for good for those who love" --- and i know u do.