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Thanks to "all of you"
Thanks to "all of you"
I want to thank all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send me your chain letters over the past few years. Thank you for making me
feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy. Because of your concern. .
I no longer drink Starbucks as they don't support our troops.
I no longer drink Pepsi Cola or any or their products because it might offend them. As you know, our money has "In God We Trust" on it and
Pepsi refused to put it on their products.
I no longer can drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.
I no longer drink anything out of a can because I will get sick from the rat feces and urine.
I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.
I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.
I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.
I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.
I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.
I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our American troops.
I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a stupid number for which I will get the phone bill from hell with calls
to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan.
I no longer eat prepackaged foods because the estrogens they contain will turn me gay.
I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.
I no longer date the opposite sex because they will take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.
And I no longer sit down on any restaurant toilet seats because the infamous butt spider could be nesting there and send me to a certain
death with one sting.
Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five
I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl who is about to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th time).
I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in
their special e-mail program.
Yes, I want to thank all of you soooooooo much for looking out for me! I will now return the favor.
If you don't send this e-mail to at least 1200 people in the next 60 seconds, a large bird with diarrhea will poop on your head at 5:00 PM
this afternoon and the fleas of a thousand camels will infest your crotch, and your arms will be too short to scratch. I know this will
occur because it actually happened to a friend of a friend of a friend's neighbor's cousin, and he's a lawyer.
12/19/2005 3:29 pm
This is funny and I thought I was the only one to get those emails..|
12/19/2005 3:35 pm
awaits diarrhea on me head