Our Orgasms  

rm_harshawj 51M
761 posts
7/21/2005 7:15 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Our Orgasms

This entry is inspired by an entry in Papyrinas blog called “Orgasm”. In the entry she posed the question, “Is it important that your partner have an orgasm?” (I have generalized a bit here.) And that got me to thinking and here is the response I wrote.


Is it important for a woman to have an orgasm during sex with me?

I used to say yes, and to this day it is my preference that she have, just as I prefer to have an orgasm. And after much soul searching I think I understand for me why it is important, and why I am not worried about it so much anymore.

When men do anything they like to accomplish something. First and formost during sex is usually their own orgasm. It fulfills the accomplishment factor on the personal side. On the partners side, we men like to see that we are good lovers and when you (our partners) have an orgasm it fulfills the "public" sense of accomplishment. We sometimes need both these things to sooth our egos and know we are good lovers. Also as an affirmation, for me there is nothing sexier than to hear, "Oh, you fuck so good..." or "God... YES YES YES YEEEEESSSSSS!"

But now that I know this (at least for myself) I know that it really is not important for an orgasm to happen every time, for me or for her. I should stipulate I have diabetes and there are times that things are just not going to work. When my BGL is high I am just about useless in that department, so this revelation was very important for me.

BTW, this may be the very reason why the "Little Blue Pill" is so damned important to men. Doctors will say that it does not do anything to the quality of life and therefore unnecessary. Ask a psychologist on the other hand and he/she will tell you that if a male is having an ED problem that pill will do more wonders for him than just a good stiffy. It enhances his ego and makes him feel whole again. And once a man knows that he is a whole man again, even with just a little help, it makes a HUGE difference in his life. Go ahead, ask a man who has the problem, before the Little Blue Pill he was depressed and not sexual, after he is a whole new person.


I also know that after talking to many women they do not feel the same need as men for having an orgasm. If it happens it is nice, but the whole act of lovemaking is more important that just the big “O”. I would suspect however if the big “O” were not forthcoming eventually that there may be a problem, but this would be a speculative opinion of mine and obviously quite subjective.

So, I have learned to not expect an orgasm every time, but to love it when it happens an to be totally in love with the total act of lovemaking. I certainly cherish all the time I spend with my lover, and if there is not an orgasm in it for each of us, then there will be next time, oh there certainly will be!

wyvernrose 38F
3895 posts
7/21/2005 8:05 pm

and when you approach it in such a manner, you will find those big O's will be even Bigger when they do arrive!



7/21/2005 11:18 pm

Well writen indeed, and so very true


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