Heard It Before  

rm_harshawj 51M
761 posts
1/26/2006 1:42 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Heard It Before

We all have had breakups, and we all hear thing during those breakups. But there are things that I have heard for years that are beginning to ring hollow, and that bothers me.

For me there are three things that ring hollow. The first one is “I want us to be friends…” This is tough for me because when I have a lover I am serious about being with that lover. Previously, when I was with a lover they were just that, a lover and I considered that if it should work out that they may be more than just a lover, but someone that I could be with for a long time. The thought of breaking up and then being just friends is difficult because it would bring up memories of those desires.

This is not to say that I have not remained friends with some lovers, but the level of communication has definitely backed down. This more casual level of friendship is livable, but it still brings up memories and regrets. Time does dull this however.

The second thing is “You’re so special…” Well, if I am so special then why are you breaking up with me? Don’t women want that special person? What I think is that I am special for someone else and that I am just not you’re cup of tea. Say that. Say that I think you could be special for someone else, but I am not feeling it and I think that we need to part. I can appreciate that honesty and it would go a long way to leaving us as friends. In fact, one good friend of mine said just that to me. She said that it was just not there and she was returning to a previous lover and we have remained friends ever since. Sure the breakup hurt, but the honesty was so freeing, it has lead to a good friendship.

“He does ‘this’ better…” where ‘this’ is whatever and something that you did well for them before. OK, why are you adding insult to injury. This is just about the most hurtful thing I can think of. Kick me in the balls, it would feel better than crushing my ego with something that was good for you in the past, but now I can’t hold a candle to someone else. Now this may be the case and true, but does it really need to be said? Damn I feel inadequate.

There are other things I hear, and I hear them even not in a breakup situation. When I hear them now I can’t help but think, “Well, this ain’t lasting long.” These lines are ringing very hollow lately and it is feeling like I may never fine what I truly want.

What do I want, you ask? Well, if I told you, you would not believe it. And if I did spill the beans I will never get it. So the search goes on and I will wait to hear those words once again. Hopefully there will be a day that I do not hear then ever again.

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