|Blogs > rm_harshawj > Miasma of Musings|
My 52-hour adventure is over. I have traveled about 1500 miles, on four planes, through three airports, and two cars. I have spent time out and about seeing sights, talking, dining and giving my all to best understand where I stand right now. All that is left is to think things over and evaluate where indeed I do stand.
I have made several discoveries and know that in the future things will be different in the way I deal with people and relationships. How you may ask, well here is how.
In the future I will be looking for as complete honesty from those I consider as coupling potentials. More time, talk and understanding is needed before decisions are made and one takes a leap of faith and goes exploring beyond ones own back yard.
I know that health issues are also very important. In fact these may be more important than I previously considered. To know the one I am looking for is actively seeking to take care of herself in all ways is re-assuring and shows a level of responsibility that is appealing to me. Knowing that she is as proud of who she is and wants to be healthy to make a relationship work is very important and in a way I find flattering. For while they are keeping healthy for themselves, a part of it shows they are concerned for me as well. They want to be healthy for us.
I have learned also that physical attraction is a huge part of a relationship and not just something that can be accepted for what it is. For I do believe that lust and love can coincide and when it does the good things can follow. Sure there are other hurdles to overcome, but it is a great start.
Shared beliefs are also important, but not just as in common interests, but deeper believes on how we view the world. Beliefs and shared opinions on religion, politics, family and respect are incredibly vital to shared relationship. When these are not there or at odds for even one of the pair, things can become sticky as one person has to compromise on a deeply held view. Would it be fair to either party to ask the other to give up such a belief? I do not think so.
Also, there should be no doubts about the other person that you wish to make part of your life in a significant way. If there are and the doubts cannot be reconciled than it will become a cause of disagreement in the future. Is there any point to starting a long-term relationship if there are foreseeable problems with it in the first place?
Finally, both people have to feel as deeply toward each other as the other. And here is an interesting thing, well at least I think so, if say the two are not the absolute head over heels for each other at the same time, then there may be issues. One cannot love the other more than the other and expect the over abundance of love to carry through the relationship. And likewise, if one is not in love as fervently it may indeed drag the relationship down from the get go.
These are realization that I made on my 52 hour sojourn and I think they were realizations of my growth. I would suspect we all know these things, or at least think we do, but do we really know them right to our very depths? I feel that we probably do not until we are faced with them and learn these all too human truths on a personal level. Like the young child grasping at a hot pot, until he grasps it, he does not grasp the import for the warning mama gave. But from there after you can be assured he will not grasp for things he should not without checking first. The instruments and lessons may be different my case, but I will not be grasping for things I do not understand from now on without checking them out first.
7/11/2005 10:28 am
I am glad that you learned something from your journey and were able to satisfy your curiousity about the mysterious path. I hope that when you finally do think things over and figure out where you stand, you are happy with that decision. We all deserve happiness in our lives and only we can make that happen.....|
I hope the path you left behind is one that is just as clear to you now as the mysterious path that you needed to explore.......
7/12/2005 4:32 am
I agree with Katey...there was a reason for the paths crossing -- a definate reason indeed!|